Help; Nursery, Best age to start and how many days?

[ClareC]

My daughter is 1 next week, baby number 2 due in May.

It's unlikely I will go back to work between now and the birth of number 2, so have no current childcare.

I am considering starting my daughter at a local nursery for 1 or 2 days a week so that when number 2 is born he does have some time with my complete attention. I have really cold feet at the idea of nursery though when I don't technically "need" to use one.

Interested in advice / opinions as to what age children need to be to actuallu enjoy nursery/benefit from attending one.

Whether one day a week is fine or (as i have been told) 2 better as they don't "settle" well with one day.

If two days, is it best to go with consecutive days or does it make no difference?

8 - 6 seems a really long day but the nursery's like the children to all arrive / leave together. How have people found these long days?

I know I am being completely nurotic, I would like to think if I had to put her in nursery I would dither far less and just get on with it.

Would love to hear from those that have children in nursery :-)

Thank you

C

[BeccaL]

How about a childminder? Can be a bit less full on for little ones and also cheaper than nursery, especially if you don't need 100% reliability as you would if working. We were fortunate to be in that situation - daughter went to minder for 1 day a week from 1 yr then up to 2 days from 2 yrs - she loved it and I think it did her a lot of good in terms of interacting with other kids.

[womanofdulwich]

I think a childminder would suit you better-especially if you wanted say 9.30 to 3pm- so they could "fit you in" around school age children and it would not be so difficult to get out hte house at that time.

[enjoy]

Hi,

My son was 15 month when he started nursery.

He went to Childspace.org in Tulse Hill.

It is parent run, that means you have to work there some times (could be difficult with no two), but we had the loviest time there.

It is a huge room with a garden, short hours and only 7 kids per session.

It was the best start ever.

And we are still in contact with the other families.

enjoy

[Monkey]

My daughter started at nursery when she was four months, 5 days a week. She is a little tired in the evening but nothing too bad and not much more than she is at the weekend actually. Nurseries are great in terms of space (there are none of the "dangers" one has at home as the kids are in a big room set up for them)and the sheer volumes of toys and activities on offer. At the age 1, your little one should enjoy it very much. If you choose days when nurseries are less busy (Fridays for example), they should be more flexible about drop off and pick up times.

[Pickle]

I hope you don't mind me giving a different perspective on this...

My son was 16.5 months old when no. 2 arrived and almost everyone I spoke to "advised" me that I should put my son in nursery a couple of days a week. I dutifully looked round lots of nurseries but didn't feel comfortable with any of them in terms of meeting our needs (in that really all I wanted was a couple of hours in the mornings) - at the back of my mind throughout was the fact that I felt a bit guilty putting him in nursery when I would be at home anyway.

In the end I decided against it - my parents were coming to visit when no. 2 arrived, so I figured I'd sort something out once they were gone. As it turned out I felt absolutely no need to put him in nursery, juggling a toddler and a baby wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, and they developed a lovely bond right from the start. On the rare days where for some reason I didn't have my son with me, my daughter was a lot harder to entertain as she loved watching her big brother.

My son finally went to Magic Moments creche (2 hours a day, 2 days a week initially) when he was 2.5, and my daughter started when she was 20 months.

Anyway, I think it's important to go with your gut feel. Good luck with whatever you decide.

P x

[zeban]

Agree with Pickle, although I'm not sure I'm allowed to have a view in such matters being childless so feel free to ignore me!

But my gut reaction to this post was that the older child might end up feeling as though they're being punished a little because of not being allowed to stay at home with mum. Could end up developing a bit of a jealous streak towards the baby getting all of the attention. My older sister loved taking part in looking after me and in turn I ended up looking up to her, developing a very proud feeling of 'that's my big sister' (although my sister was 2 when I was born so the age gap might make a difference).

Definitely just go with your gut instinct.

I hope I haven't said anything out of line by the way :-S

[pebbles]

I also agree with go with your gut feeling about how you will cope and also what no1 is like.

I knew 2 things:

firstly - my son was totally ready to spend a few hours away from me and i actually thought it would be beneficial for him. Having seen all the nurseries and not being totally happy I went with a childminder and I haven't looked back. I love her, he loves her and she loves him. I started it 6 wks before due date so that he hopefully wouldn't have put 2 and 2 together. it started as 2 mornings a week and then went to 2 days.

secondly - i thought i was going to struggle. i suffer from insomnia and had had an horrendous pregnancy so being totally selfish i knew that i was going to need a break and i felt that just having the baby on her own for a bit each week would allow me to put my feet up and feed and watch tv in peace and get the much needed rest to keep my sanity - as well as pace up and down the room to console!!!

I think every mother/father is different and just try and be as honest as possible about yourself and your no.1.

My main advice though is if you are going to put her into nursery/childminder do it quite a few weeks before no.2 is due (or quite a few weeks after no.2 comes) so that her life isn't turned upside down totally.

Good luck with your decision.