Taking a Nanny on holiday

[anna_r]

Hi everyone, I have a quick nanny question and wondered if anyone had any experiences to share.

We have been invited to a wedding of a close friend that we agreed to go to several months ago. It is in a couple of weeks. We had planned this to be our first night away as a couple leaving two daughters with nanny at home. Baby will be six months old, wedding is only 2 hours drive from london, have had wonderful nanny for our elder daughter for over a year. However since baby wont take a bottle this is looking increasingly impossible. Children not allowed at the wedding. So our plan is to pay for another hotel room (over ?200! ouch!) for nanny and take her with us for the night and me pop back a couple of times during wedding to feed baby. So what should nanny get paid? We expect she will put the babies to bed in our room and stay with them until probably about 9pm after which she will be off duty, but still away from home. Does she get the usual hourly rate (?9.50 per hour - which means a cost of around ?300 if she comes over at 10am, we drive there together and she's back around 4pm)? So ?500 for one night including room??? Do you pay full rate for sleeping hours?? It is a very expensive option just because daughter wont take bottle aargh.

We considered not going but a) have already accepted b) is close friend of both of us and c) we probably wont be going on any other holidays this year and it looks like a lovely place!

Thoughts? xx

[candj]

When we've taken a nanny on holiday we've paid their usual rate plus pocket money, extra pay for babysitting (if it's longer than her normal working hours) in the evenings or weekends, and her hotel room. One year when our children were young and we had to go to the continent for work, my husband decided to pay the nanny her usual salary plus a chunky flat rate on top for the two weeks which included unlimited babysitting which she was thrilled about and it made it easy because we didn't have to keep track of hours. We were staying in a flat at that time and she had her own room and we paid for all the groceries and incidentals, as well.

If your nanny is not full time, I would expect you would pay her usual daily rate plus the extra hours worked including the travel time to wherever you are going. Talk to your nanny and agree on something beforehand so there are no surprises. I've never paid for the time that they were sleeping of course despite her being away from home.

Sorry for the rather convoluted sounding post, hope that helps.

[zeban]

Surely if the couple getting married are good friends of yours then you can explain the situation and they will waive the 'no children' rule. Just be honest with them. Obviously I don't know them but I think any reasonable person would be fine about it because they would rather you were there than not. It's a wedding afterall, not a business meeting.

[candj]

Just to add, you might want to see if the hotel has a nanny service that they use as it would save on having to pay for the extra hotel room, meals, extra time worked, etc, and would be less expensive overall.

[Lochie]

anna we used a hotel babysitter when we were on honeymoon (for the UK leg of the honeymoon!) on about 3 occassions. The hotel booked it all for us and the rate was ?10 an hour. If the wedding venue is a luxury hotel then I am sure they would supply this service regularly as it is probably very much in demand, and would imagine that the sitters are all properly vetted etc.

Only downside is that its a bit stressful leaving the babies with someone they don't know in case it upsets them. But I always told the sitter to call me if any problems and it was only a climb up a few flights of steps up to our room again, it all worked well for us.

Understandably though you have got two and so can see why ideal situation would be nanny so you can just relax and enjoy the wedding....

[alieh]

Also, if the hotel can't arrange babysitting we've used the Sitters agency (sitters.co.uk) before in hotels and it has always worked out really well. Generally I have just snuck out from the wedding to put my son to bed, and then the sitter is there while he is sleeping and can ring when/if he wakes (and in your case when it's time for a feed). Given that you're going to be in the same building, it does seem like a lot of extra cost and hassle to bring your nanny all the way there just for a few hours!

[denny]

I've been a nanny for over 10 years and usually if it is for a family I an working for (rather than a one off through an agency) I agree a flat rate before so it isn't ludicrously expensive for you but still well worth your nanny giving up her weekend!

[Smiler]

Zeban, when people say no children they tend to mean it! Puts the couple in v difficult position if guests then ask to bring them.

[The Nappy Lady]

But...on the other hand...we said no children at our wedding, then waived it for my best friend who was coming all the way from the Midlands down to Kent...I just agreed with them that if children started to play up during the ceremony they would take them straight out of the church (and they were very good and did so when their then 2/3 year old got bored).

I think it depends on your relationship with the couple getting married, but if I had a friend who was breastfeeding exclusively I would expect them to bring their baby along. If you can show some compromise and agree the older child will be with a hotel sitter, but baby with you, maybe they would agree to that?

[zeban]

Thanks Nappy Lady, I knew I wasn't being unreasonable.

I bet they'ld happily say yes if they're your close friends and would probably even feel bad themselves for making you feel that they wouldn't compromise. You only need to ask really rather than assume. Assuming is never good.

[anna_r]

Hi everyone. Thanks for all the replies. Just to address the point about whether to ask whether we can take the children, the invite explicitly states 'Unfortunately, due to restrictions at the wedding venue, children are not able to attend'. Also the wedding starts at 7pm - which is right in the middle of our bedtime routine and would guarantee difficult behaviour from both 6 month old and toddler. And lastly, the couple are quite young, probably without many friends with kids, quite into socialising etc and I totally respect the fact that this is what they have chosen for their wedding - so I don't really think its appropriate to ask. We accepted on the basis of knowing all these facts and are now just trying to work out how to make it work! They are also not THAT close friends - we both worked closely with the guy for a number of years but don't really know the bride very well. Anyway will look into hotel sitters but will also discuss with nanny tomorrow expectations and whether she has done anything similar before. Thanks!