From one to two

[ClareC]

Having read the from two to three thread, lots of people have commented how going from two to three children is far easier than from one to two.

My daughter has just had her first birthday and number two will be here in just under 3 months.... didn't want to hijak the other thread hence starting this one, but its panicking me........any top tips for going from one to two?

[Pickle]

There are so many stories about how hard it is to go from 1 to 2, and like you I was concerned as my due date approached (mine is a 16.5 month gap).

I honestly didn't find it as bad as I expected. I'm quite an organised person, and for me that was the key. Little things that made my life easier/more pleasant in the early weeks and months:

- have a shower at night, as soon as the kids are asleep rather than trying to do it in the morning between baby feeds and toddler's demands... which is near on impossible

- use a wrap sling for the baby, by far the best thing I bought. My daughter was hard to settle in the daytime, so I just got on with life with her strapped on my front. Not as easy with no 2 to take them out for walks for hours when you also have a toddler and their associated routine.

- on the routine subject, if your little girl is in a good routine now, try your hardest not to change it. For me the bonus of a small age gap was that my boy still slept (at that point twice a day), and those nap times were sanity saving. I gradually encouraged the baby into the same nap routine, and to this day have two children who sleep at the same time after lunch... and my baby is now 2.5

- go to playgroups. Fantastic for getting a "break" in that your toddler will play, and there will probably be lots of willing people to hold your baby for 10 minutes while you have a cup of tea!

From day 1 my daughter's main source of entertainment was her then bottom shuffling brother, she used to happily lie and watch him rather than play with toys. Now they play together brilliantly, she copies everything he does and they are developing a really close relationship.

Hope that helps.

[Princess]

Thanks ClareC for starting this thread and thanks Pickle for such a genuine reply. I too had read the other thread and panicked. When I mentioned it to an old colleague of mine with a small gap between her two, she handed me the Gina contented baby and toddler book and wished me good luck! I hadn't anticipated it would be easy but if anyone has any life saving tips I'd love to hear them.

[pebbles]

I agree with Pickle that for me routine was key and absolutely shower at night :)

Crystal Palace 1 Club was just amazing as I felt truly comfortable with no1 running around and playing while i fed baby. So definitely find a few places that you feel no1 is happy with playing and you will feel happy with feeding.

And to ease your worries, for me there is nothing worse than being pregnant with a toddler so having two i found was just so much easier

Good luck, it's a joy i promise :)

[candj]

Yes agree with pebbles, being pregnant with toddler was THE worst for me as I was really exhausted by the pregnancy that I got shingles (which to this day is the most painful thing I've gone through).

Also, as pickle says, the sling is your best friend as your baby will live in it while you are trying to control your toddler - I even wore it around the house. I also kept to the routine that my eldest was on and gradually got the baby on the same schedule and went to a lot of play groups, friend's homes, and car rides! Because of the 2 1/2 year age gap, my eldest eventually went to nursery which also gave me some more time with the baby. And getting the buggy situation right is a big help. I never had a phil & teds because at 2 1/2 my oldest was a bit too big and old (I felt) for it so I had a Mclaren Techno XT with a baby bjorn and eventually a buggy board which just meant we were able to get out for walks to the park or to a cafe.

I think the main reason why everyone is saying that three is easier than two is because your eldest becomes less needy and bit of a helper like mine who loves bringing me pillows, tissues, burping cloths, etc and will basically do anything I ask.

Don't panic and good luck Clare!

[sillywoman]

Conversely I hated the sling (18month gap) because I couldn't bend down comfortably to my eldest, or hold her on my lap for a cuddle if the baby was sleeping. So I very quickly abandoned it. I do however agree with Pickle on the routine front and I also managed to get them both on the same nap schedule very quickly. This did mean my life outside the home was limited for about a year or so though. Our usual routine would be; playgroup in the morning (another big thumbs up to Pickles observations there), home about 11 for sleep, up and lunch, another longer sleep until 3pm ish then maybe out to friends or just playing/ hanging out in the house until tea bath & bed at about 5-7pm. Baby might have had another small nap about 4 or 5pm.

Agree also with CandJ about the buggy situation. Please, please, please consider getting one that has hard rubber or pneumatic tyres or a sprung chassis. The very bad back that I have now can be traced in a direct line to the years of pushing two round ED in a McLaren with a buggy board (no Phil&Teds in those days). Finally cottoned on when I had number 3 and took my own advice - it was a great relief but the damage was done.

Don't worry clare, all will be well and the bonus is that with babies that close it's a bit like having twins they'll entertain each other and be interested in similar things at a similar stage. And, when they get older, you won't have to agonise over how to chose holidays/days out that will keep different age groups happy :)).

[ljs]

I actually found the 1 to 2 not that bad at all.... Like you ClareC our second was born when our first was just 15 mths old. I found it easy in the fact that NO 1 was still having daytime naps and was really not aware of no 2's arrival at all.

I think I have found it a little harder over the past few months as NO 2 is coming up for 2years..... BUT they do play so so well together, which is a godsend in itself...

We have an OUTNABOUT little nipper side by side pushchair, BRILLIANT !!! I couldn't have managed without it...

[Sanne Panne]

I think you'll be absolutely fine. You're such a chilled mum with your first that you're unlikely to become overly stressed with #2. And your daughter is probably too young to get "terrible two"-style jealous so it may not be that bad at all. And hopefully with the way you and your man have things set up at home you can get that shower in the morning while he looks after the kids! Maybe make a deal about that before the baby is there.

The transition from 1 to 2 was ok for me - I was a bit of a control freak with baby 1 and much more relaxed with baby 2 and (consequently?) she's a much more laid back kid. Yes the days get busy and you may never have time for yourself (especially if you don't make a real effort to get a routine in... I didn't) but if you get decent sleep at night (like me) you can handle it. But again, a routine will probably make life a lot easier! Oh and if you want to read a book about routines do it now because you won't have time or energy when your baby is there ;)

My biggest struggle was the jealousy but that seems to have improved a lot now.