advice - how to get an au pair and make it work for us

[Anna D]

Does anyone have any top tips on where I can find a great au pair and also on how best to share our home with them and make it a really positive experience for all? I'd really appreciate learning from your experiences - good or bad. Thanks.

[flocker spotter]

We had aupairs for almost ten years and mostly they were good experiences.

My advice, based on waht we found, is:

*Advertise yourselves on aupairworld with 'from London' added to your surname - it will get you a greater response.

*Be very specific about what you want and the nature/rhythm of your family in your aupairworld profile.

*Interview by Skype/Facetime and ask questions which will let you know that the candidate is genuinely interested in being part of a family and looking after kids (ie not here just to earn or as a stepping stone to a better job in London). Sound out if they are tidy/methodical/relaxed/creative etc...

*Choose someone who you think will fit in well with you - sense of humour, opinions, personality - he/she will be a kind of flatmate for you so you must be able to get on well together.

*Invite them for a weekend visit - to make sure it will work. Look for initiative during this visit - are they responding to the kids needs? Did they get the kids to tidy up / wash hands for lunch without prompting? Did they help in the kitchen? Get them to cook something - can they do a basic pasta dish for the kids?

*If you can't have them to stay, Skype when the kids are up and introduce them and see how the aupair responds - what does she ask them? Does she show genuine interest? Ask how much they get involved at home in terms of domestic duties - can he/she iron a shirt, change sheets?.

* Give yourselves a week settling in time when you can be around so the aupair can shadow what you do and gradually take over. Take him/her into town so that they know how to find their way around. Talk and bond during this week.

* Be prepared to put time and effort into settling your aupair in - including helping them find their feet socially.

* Create a simple manual including a basic timetable, kids interests, snacks, recipes of simple kids' meals, basic dos and don'ts,key house rules, how to stay safe - and we had a page of 'things we would like you to know but may not say' (this included things like regularly washing their bedding, not leaving scooters outside the house where they might get stolen etc).

I hope this helps. Having aupairs is a truly enriching experience for everyone involved, but you need to enter into the right spirit of it. An aupair is not a straight forward employer/employee relationship. It is a bit like having a younger relative staying with you to help you out at home.

Please pm me if you would like to know more.