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Help my daughter stop sucking her thumb!

supergolden88
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supergolden88

supergolden88

Posted
Posted

Oh dear.


Bit of background. My daughter started sucking her thumb as a baby when she was around 3 months. Very quickly it became the way she would comfort herself. The minute she was a bit tired in went the thumb. She also used to play with her ear at the same time. It was very cute. This went on and on until when she was nearly three we tried to convince her that she was now too old to be sucking her thumb. We gave her incentives and soon she completely stopped doing it in the daytime but would still do it when she went to bed.


After a while we thought she had stopped at night as well. We used to read to her till she fell asleep and we could see she was not sucking her thumb. But reading could take half and hour or more till she dropped off and if she woke and found us gone she would cry and want more stories.


Anyway. She started school this January (at 4 1/2) and we also had a second baby in November. So big changes, lots of stress for her and we finally started to leave her while still awake (because in our sleep deprived state due to baby we would fall asleep long before she did).


Tonight I read to her (normally it's her dad as I am putting baby to bed at same time). Said goodnight and told her not to suck her thumb more out of habit than anything. 5 minutes later I heard crying. I went upstairs and she was in FLOODS of tears with the big confession that when we leave the room she still sucks her thumb and has been hiding it from us. She sobbed "I dont know how to fall asleep by myself!". I feel terrible for her. I read her another story and reassured her loads and promised her a present when she finally stops (a presend was the incentive ages ago when she stopped first time around).


But I am not sure that this will work unless we again read to her until she is completely deeply asleep.


Any thoughts? Tips? Should I just leave it and hope she stops of her own accord when she is ready? She is 5 in June and soon will start having wobbly teeth and so on. She has a gap between her two top front teeth which I suspect has something to do with thumb sucking although that is not necessarily the case. It is such a deeply ingrained habit with her that I am sure it is very hard to stop. She never does it in the day but I have cought her chewing her fingers/playing with her mouth like a nervous habit sometimes.

amyw

amyw

Posted
Posted

hey

i sucked my thumb on and off until i was 11, and my teeth are fine.

i think get her teeth checked and advice from an orthodontist and if he thinks her teeth are developing ok then maybe just leave her to quietly give up when she is ready. if he is worried then he might be able to advise on methods for her to stop eg transferring the comfort-factor to a blanket.

im pretty sure my younger brother still sucks his thumb in his sleep if very very tired (or drunk - he is in his twenties) and his teeth are fine too.

i dont remember why i sucked my thumb - just remember that it was something i liked to do and didnt see why i should stop!

Saffron

Saffron

Posted
Posted

If she's still sucking her thumb at this age, it's likely that the behaviour has become set in the neural pathways, known as stereotypy. Her need to comfort herself as she feels tired triggers the stereotypic behaviour. Tyring to stop the stereotypy before she is ready to replace it with something else will only result in rebounding of the behaviour, ie the thumb sucking will come back even stronger. You are likely experiencing some rebound now from her earlier round of 'giving up'.


The fact that you report that she feels she needs to hide the behaviour from you just shows how deeply ingrained it is. She is still very small. For now I would just let her suck her thumb. Let her know that it's ok, and you'll try again for her to give up when she feels more ready.


If you feel you must make an intervention because you notice trouble with her teeth/speech, try something like Fuschia's suggestion of hypnotherapy for children.


However, it's likely that as your daughter grows up, the behaviour will cease on its own. Or, when she's a bit older you can gently help her to replace the thumb sucking with another type of soothing, like reading to herself, music, drawing at bedtime etc. While possibly undesirable, thumb sucking is certainly not dangerous, and it does not necessarily result in malocclusion of the teeth. I really wouldn't make a battle of it.


Good luck. xx

supergolden88

supergolden88

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I think you are right I may have to give up on this for a while - certainly dont want her feeling bad about it or that she has to hide it.


However she woke me up at 6am today saying very loudly "remember mummy we made a deal if I stop sucking my thumb!" I suppose I have only myself to blame!

Saffron

Saffron

Posted
Posted

supergolden88 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> she woke me up at 6am today saying very

> loudly "remember mummy we made a deal if I stop

> sucking my thumb!" I suppose I have only myself to

> blame!


That's a great sign if she wants to give it up on her own. :)

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