Travelling with an 18mo old / totally freaking out.

[Ruth_Baldock]

Oh, wise and helpful forum, pass me the Valium...

My- my wonderful but slightly insane- husband is going away with Cheeky S. To Lisbon. For NINE DAYS. He is going to arrive home, wait for it, a week before my c-section. Obviously, I am not going. Hmmmph. The plan was for him to go away in early May, when I wouldn't be so close to giving birth, but for some reason that didn't happen.

I am freaking out.

1) I will miss both of them TERRIBLEY. I haven't ever been away from my son for longer than 22.5 hours (Yes, I counted...)and even when my husband was away for work, he came back every 4 days (had a 3 day weekend with me and my son)

2) I am going to be full term when they're away, and terrified I'll go into labour, my dates are uncertain but I think I am about 10-12 days ahead of my dates. I don't have any other 'birth partners' knocking about except my husband. Any takers? Unlikely this will happen unless Baby DOES turn- she's transverse and stubborn. I have an appointment with Mr Davies (my consultant) on the 17th of June to discuss VBAC options, which are, at the moment, nil.

3) I am worried it'll utterly mess up my son's sleep. I do not want to be in the position of having to either a) re-sleep train him DAYS before I go into hospital to have his sister or b) not sleep train him and be doubley knackered when his sister does arrive.

On Holiday, did your baby's sleep take a massive downward turn? If so, did it go back to normal on your return home?

Tips for travelling with a cheeky and tantrum loving 18mo old?

REALLY think this is a bad idea. Feel sick thinking about it. HELP ME FORUM HELP ME.

[snowboarder]

Why are they going?!?

[snowboarder]

Sorry that sounds flippant. But if it's that stressful I would make it my mission to ensure they didn't go...

[Ruth_Baldock]

I DONT KNOOOOOOWWW!!!! D: I think Mr B wants to 'give me a break' but, er, not really much of a break a week before I am due to give birth? What can I do? Nothing really- apart from take naps and not hide when scoffing biccies (Seb tries to eat them from my plate).

This seems like a terrible idea. I wonder if I could convince TAP (airline) to refund Mr B's and Seb's flights?!?! ARGH. STUPID BLOODY MEN. Or, trying to be helpful but failing, men.

[Ruth_Baldock]

I'm sort of stressed and sort of...not stressed about it? I am mostly worried about Baby's sleep being messed up (am sure you can relate) but have a feeling he'd be okay when he got home. Also, I think it MIGHT help Mr B be able to actually look after Seb when I am not around, at the moment it's all 'er er er er what size nappies does he take? wheres his towel? what sort of socks should I put on him?' etc. Oh god oh god.

[ryedalema]

Ewwww - on a positive note when we travelled with our (at the time) 18 month old, her sleep patterns were not affected at all. Try and get him to stay to UK time (as far as little S is concerned) if you can. So feeding/sleeping at UK times. Even if that's not feasible - they tend to bounce back into their normal routine IME. Anyway you might find that you want to change his routine so that it matches (as much as it can) your newbie's. At least so that they aren't tag teaming it.

Good luck - it sounds a bit crazy as you say. But think of the grandkid stories and blackmail opps you'll have if he misses it. All housework for a year and a diamond at least I reckon!!

PS - anyway - I'd rather have the medical professionals in the room. If they were away, then I'd REALLY worry! :))

My OH nearly missed our first (was out drinking with the lads and didn't believe how eager eldest madam was to see the world!) - I dine out (literally) on it regularly!! xx

[snowboarder]

9 days is a very long time. Esp when you think you will then prob be in Kings for 2/3 days when the baby comes. I'd worry about S missing YOU - Z was obviously v affected by me being away for a week and a half over newbies birth recently (and only completely 'away' for 4 days). They do say a lot of change is not good around time of new baby arrival? But if they're def going I suppose you might as well accept it, let husband sort S out and have full on chill out massage etc time..? I know I wouldn't enjoy it though.

[Ruth_Baldock]

GOOD NEWS; Lisbon is in the same time zone as the UK :) He arrives in Lisbon at about 6pm- so dinner on the plane, and then slightly later bedtime, and then he arrives in the UK at 10pm, so dinner on the plane and a bit of fun and games getting Seb to sleep when we get home, but imagine he'd be so bloody knackered he'd go straight down. Seb a huge fan of all chicken and fish dishes, just as well, that's the main thing in Portugal. Also a fan of pebble beaches and screaming, that's another story... VERY reassuring about the sleep, though. Ta!

Wouldn't it be ironic? Plan for a repeat c-section with Husband there, and then end up having a surprise vaginal birth without him there. God. I'd have to laugh, or I'd cry.

[Polly D]

Does Mr B actually know how you're feeling about this?

Think your last point re him being able to take over while you're busy with Miss B when she comes is a good one. I went away for 2 nights in Feb when my son was 2 and I definitely noticed a shift in the parenting (in a lovely way) when I came back.

I do understand this will be stressing you out, and you're going to miss the boy a lot, but I wouldn't worry about the sleep/routine - you don't know until you do it whether it will make a difference so no point in worrying about something that might not happen.

If Mr B has lots of valid reasons for both going (and it is half his decision too) then they should go and you should take this as your moment to totally chill, rest and await your baby's arrival, once both boys back home. Sounds as if he is most considerately wanting to give you a break. Sure S will have an amazing time with his daddy. Equally, as you seem to do the lion's share of the caring for S, you may find Mr B singing your praises in a 'Wow, I don't know how you do it' way when back.

Of course if you find you can't cope once they've gone, then they can come back earlier. It's not the other side of the world and at least you all tried.

Know it's easy to say as not involved but try not to worry...

[Ruth_Baldock]

I am very, very worried about him missing me. Very worried. He goes bloody mental if I'm not there, but is fine with Dad. I have instructed Mr B that if he thinks Baby is missing me too much to come straight home. This seems like a ridicolous idea, the more and more I think about it. But then, maybe not at the same time? I am very hormonal. I am worried about how he'll be on the plane with his little ears popping, but he has a dummy so hopefully that will help?

When I'm off having the babby, he'll be with my MIL and coming in to see me in Kings when I'm in the ward (hopefully won't be there for too long...) and I hope that'll 'tide him over' so to speak.

[snowboarder]

Maybe it will be fine then!

(ps - Found Z coming visiting almost upset me and him more than no contact at all! But was in a while - hopefully you won't be)

[Ruth_Baldock]

Polly, thanks for your reassuring response. He has a lot of valid reasons for going which seem to make perfect sense, but I'm incredibly hormonal at the moment (cried when I couldn't find my hairbrush earlier today...) so it all seems AWFUL at the moment.

I think he's planning to cut it down to a 5 day trip after lots of people said 'NINE days?! NINE?!!?' I feel much happier with 5 days, rather than almost double that.

[Belle]

Nine seems a long time - I know I would go mental doing nine days on my own with my son but then that's prob partly because it's what I do most of the time. 5 seems more do-able - basically a long weekend. Def think that the sleep thing not an issue - have had few probs with this when travelling, and agree it's a kind of 'wait and see' thing - plus won't be your problem! Bet he'll slip back into normal routine when home when it's back to being your/half your problem again so don't worry!

But if you are worried in terms of proximity to birth etc then that is a reason to maybe revisit it.

[Ruth_Baldock]

Snowboarder- need a hand with your babies between the 15th-20th (ish) of June? I'll be at a loose end ;)

REALLY hope I'm not in for longer than I was with S (38 hours) but it's down to bubs! Jaundice etc.

Not doing this baby lark again

[snowboarder]

Ha I know. Come over whenever!!

Get out of Kings as fast as you can!!! Longer you stay more probs (which may or may not actually be probs - like normal physiological jaundice, slightly high temp 'cos it's freakin' BOILING in there etc) they find!

[Ruth_Baldock]

If I was alone for S for 9 days, I'd definitely be a basketcase, but Mr B sees it as a bit of a novelty. Oh, how little he knows...

"But if you are worried in terms of proximity to birth etc then that is a reason to maybe revisit it."

This is what I am worried about. There may be a post on here at 4am "HELP I am in labour, who wants to come and hold my hand/press the boost button on my TENs machine..."

[ClareC]

Hi Ruth,

Try not to panic and enjoy the rest! Book lots of nice things like hair appointment etc

I was paranoid about going into labour too so know exactly how you feel on that one!! Can you compile a list of friends to call locally who could stay with you if you did go into labour? Just knowing who to call should help.

As for getting out of Kings ASAP, make sure everyone caring for you knows that is your intention, it's the paperwork that takes the time! Miss B needs to have a wet nappy, a soiled nappy, be feeding and good health. Tips for you are to get mobile as soon as you are able, have catheter removed and have visited the toilet and passed a certain volume of urine - they examine a couple!! If you can do all that you get let out.... I had L at 11.52am on the Tuesday and was out the Wed afternoon :-)

[Ruth_Baldock]

Thanks Clare, was going to PM you for repeat c/s tips! I am already telling everyone at Kings that the moment I have the baby, I am OUT OF THERE (optimism). I'm the first on the surgery list, all being well, because of an allergy I have. As long as Miss B is in good health and isn't jaundiced, should be fine. I was up and about within 10 hours of my surgery last time, and that was with a general anaesthetic, but can have a spinal this time so hopefully i'll feel even better even quicker :)

[Norfolkvillas]

For what it's worth, I've just yesterday returned from 8 days in Spain with our 18 month old and, like other European holidays we've taken, it didn't mess with his sleep patterns one little bit. If anything, the hot weather made him more dozey. Plus Spanish / Portuguese properties tend to have the enviable ability to block out ALL light with shutters or similar, which makes blacking out baby bedrooms a doddle. Also, travel seems to affect babies in the same way as adults - ie they find it knackering, so even if he does end up napping at the wrong time during a car journey etc, it shouldn't make much of a difference to his overall sleep patterns. Hope this helps a little!

[ClareC]

They prioritise by medical need so you should hold onto your number one spot! Get there early too.

I had a spinal this time round and it was fine, I did have a reaction though which made me vomit as the anaesthetic wore off, I now know this is quite common. They have an anti sickness drug, if you feel at all sick ask the anaethatist to give you the anti sickness drug!

Only other tip is to drink loads, they Will see your not dehydrated from your catheter, also once it's removed and you get the joy of pee'ing in a sick bowl, you will be able to perform fairly swiftly!!

Btw I couldn't drink anything until the vomiting subsided (around 6 pm), just drank plenty afterwards. although hooefully if you do feel sick you can prevent it as you will know about it. Do you have a date?

[Ruth_Baldock]

July 1st, unless baby turns, in which case I'd be 'sectioned' when I was post-dates (after 15th july). c-section being performed at 38wks due to Seb's appearance when I was around 38wks. Sigh.

Planning on guzzling ribena the moment I can, had heard that about the sickness; I was sick as a dog after my GA incidentally. And then took 2 x iron tablets on an empty stomach.Not great.

[new mother]

Actually I had a thought. I reacted badly to something in their concoction, prob morphine and so was being sick constantly first time around. The pain of being sick made me ask for painkillers and so it began again. Second time around, I was wise to it so, when they tried to give me painkillers for the first unavoidable sickness from the spinal used for the op, I said no thanks, didn't need them, wasn't sick and all was totally fine.

I wld have thought that an anaesthetist could hav worked that out but I suppose she could not tell how much pain I had or not, so had to play safe and give me more of the morphine...