little one biting....help please

[duchessofdulwich]

Im not sure if its down to teething or a phase but my daughter has started biting my husband and I. At first we were quite angry with her about this and told her off which made her very upset and made us feel terrible.

I then started to wonder if we gave her attention to this biting she would do it again to get a reaction from us? she is 18 months old.

[sophiechristophy]

Could it be tiredness? My daughter gets a bit nippy when she is tired (and when she is teething or hungry...).

[duchessofdulwich]

sometimes im just giving her a cuddle and i can feel her teeth sinking into my shoulder! yes sophie i think tiredness is probably a big factor with this behaviour

[Mook]

I used to nanny for a little boy who at around the age of 18 mths started biting his mum and I in exactly the same way as you describe. We felt very strongly that he was biting me out of affection therefore disciplining him became even harder. I made it clear that biting wasn't acceptable, I usually removed him from me, explain that it hurts and then encourage gentle affection. It was just a phase he went through, remembering back (it was a while ago) I think he grew out of it pretty quickly.

Yes I can remember the painful feeling of teeth sinking into my shoulder - you have my sympathy!

[realdeal4476]

hello

i agree with Mook.

my little one (now 20months) started doing this on and off a couple of months back - exactly the same situations - when tired, teething and sometimes in the middle of a cuddle.

it gives you quite a nasty shock at first, which is why you react by telling them off.

it's perfectly normal, and lots of them do it. it just isn't what you image they are going to do!

also, the fear is that they may do it to other children.

i read up on a lot of research - online and books. and you are right in that if you give it attention, they do it again and again. i found the best solution was to say quite calmly, 'no, we don't bite other people. it makes mummy /daddy upset,' and then remove them from your lap and put them on the floor. walk away (not out of room or they get really mad and it all goes wrong!). after a minute or two, look back and ask them to say sorry.

at first my little one actually laughed when i reacted by jumping, saying ow and then telling him off. he didn't understand being told off - all he saw was that he had got a reaction which is why he kept doing it - i think.

but after a few times of being removed from me and sensing that i was upset, he stopped it. it took a few goes of this over a few days but it worked eventually.

there is another theory that they bite out of too much emotion ... so when they are really overwhelmingly happy ie being cuddled by mummy or daddy, they give you a nip. i actually can understand this point of view as this was when it happened!

don't worry too much, it does stop :-)

[duchessofdulwich]

thanks for the advice it was very reassuring. Yes my biggest concern is that she may try and bite another child when we start her at nursery/pre school.

[apenn]

Mine bit too at that age - including other children so he had to be watched closely at play groups. He's now 23 months and it seem like ages ago that he stopped. Agree with all the comments above. In essence, I think its how they express themselves when they don't yet have the words. As his language developed, the biting naturally subsided.

-A