Losing Freddy - Evening Standard article 16th Ju

[Sol]

I ended feeling very depressed after reading the article in the Evening Standard: 'Losing Freddy'. To make a long story short:

In the article the father tells how his son, who was an academically gifted child and a beautiful boy gravitated into the wrong crowd in the school when he was 13, started trying drugs and died a few weeks ago, age 18 of a heroin overdose. The parents tried to help him and sent him twice away; The first time to a Wilderness School in the US known as Brat Camp, he came back fit and healthy, however after a few months he started seeing his friends again and relapsed. The second time they sent him to a clinic in South Africa, he came back fit and healthy again, unfortunately he relapsed again and died of a Heroin Overdose later on.

It is very sad to see how a child with a huge potential became addicted to drugs and died so young. I kept the article, hoping to show it to my kids when they are all enough to understand the danger of drugs and the influence of bad friends. As parents, we have to be very vigilant of our children, making sure they don't get into the wrong crowd, once they get into them and start experimenting with drugs, it may be too late.

I Thought I share this article with you, hope you read it.

[pebbles]

Wow, how very very brave of his father to speak out and hopefully help other parents to be able help in time.

My prayers are with the whole family - just devastating

[pebbles]

Wow, how very very brave of his father to speak out and hopefully help other parents to be able help in time.

My prayers are with the whole family - just devastating

[Sol]

It is devastating. The fee for the article was given to RAPT, the drug treatment charity

[Sol]

Here is the article is someone wants to read it:

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23961216-losing-freddy-a-father-speaks-out-about-his-sons-heroin-death.do

[EDmummy]

I read this article too and felt the heart break of the loving father although I was left wondering if there was an underlining Aspergers or perhaps mental health problem. I also felt uneasy about the boy being sent away so often to have his problems sorted out (Brat Camp in US, drug rehab in South Africa). Regardless, very traumatic for all.

[Sally81]

I think that piece was probably a very long and winding story and sadly it's been heavily edited to fit.

It's tragic and my heart goes out to them.

[Saffron]

It seems that "the wrong crowd" and drugs get blamed for a lot of problems, when, we as parents need to look within the child. Sometimes it is the troubles within an individuals that turn them towards problematic people or lifestyles. As parents it's very hard to see this in your own child.

Their loss of Freddy must be truly heartbreaking. Sol, I felt so sad after reading this last week too. Most people probably read it and wondered how they could prevent such a tragedy with their own child/ren. I read it and actually thought, I could have been Freddy.

I'm very conflicted on the use of rehab facilities for minors. My personal feeling is that sending children away is rarely the answer. I feel so sad for the parents, and I'm certainly not blaming them in any way. I'm just wondering what other options are out there.

[Sol]

S

[alethea]

On a positive note, some children can come out the other side of addiction. But any form of rehabilitation has to come from the addict, once they make the decision to change then you do what you can to help, sometimes throwing money at it is not the answer.

It was a harrowing story and every parents nightmare.

[mockney piers]

I read the story on the day and it was utterly heart breaking.

I guess there are as many reasons for getting into addiction as there are human beings in this world. At school many parents would probably have considered me the wrong crowd, but I was just another youth experimenting with the widening boundaries of the world, as were many of my friends.

I think most come out the other side relatively unscarred. I certainly didn't do anything I considered dodgy (certainly not hard drugs) but then my parents would still have been horrified at the things I did do (I know because we've discussed it subsequently); I think though mine was a pretty typical middle class, middle England suburban tale of boredom if you ask me.

Most of my friends dabbled in drugs and crime at some point to a greater or lesser degree and most have come out the other side fine upstanding members of society*.

I did lose some friends on the way, two to heroin overdoses, and I don't think they had deep seated issues that drove them to addiction, they just made bad decisions and or were unlucky and paid the ultimate price.

Now as a parent I know that sooner or later the mocklet (well he'll just be the mock by then I guess) will come face to face with the real world and I hope I'll have helped him to achieve the maturity to navigate safely, as I guess my parents had for me.

*I've talked to the chief strategist at the Youth Justice Board when I worked there and he felt very strongly that kids shouldn't be criminalised, that even good kids will smash a window or let down the odd tyre or shoplift a bit and will still grow up to be good people. Currently we have the balance all wrong and that shoving them through the heavy handed youth team/youth justice system can be too damaging, but that's a debate for another thread I guess.

[ratty]

I wonder how many young (and old) people would suffer heroin related deaths if it were legalised and controlled?

[Saffron]

There does seem to be less of a problem in countries where it is decriminalised and help for addicts is more readily available.

Mockney p, you make a good point, re: "I don't think they had deep seated issues that drove them to addiction, they just made bad decisions and or were unlucky and paid the ultimate price." I also agree with what you say about boredom having a part in it, especially for very bright children as it seemed Freddy was. Challenging bright children and keeping them engaged in the word in positive and productive ways can be difficult for any parent.

[Sol]

I am glad some people has contributed to this discussion, it can help parents understand why their kids may get into drugs, support them and help them make the right decisions and hopefully prevents deads due to drugs abuse. I believe Freddy's parents were hoping he will go through that stage and come out on the other side safe, unfortunately he didn't.