Pirate outfit for 4 year old

[Moos]

Hmm. Got any more of those, darling?

[*Bob*]

You should see who's underneath the next mask..

[Moos]

Mum? Is that you?

[*Bob*]

That's just plain wrong.

[Moos]

Sorry. I don't know that many people, ran out of suspects.

[*Bob*]

I think I've taken a wrong turn. Is this The Family Room?

Do you need to stay on topic or not? (Shiver me timbers)

[Moos]

Charlotte's had suggestions ranging from 'buy it from Chanel' to 'make it yourself out of mud' and is now fully equipped. Plus she's been outed as Mrs. Ratty and is now apparently about to move to Disneyland. Or something. I have profound psychological problems, or at least a bizarre sense of humour.

I think our work here is done and you are free to unmask yourself as Edward Teach or whomever you like.

Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrr.

[*Bob*]

Young *Bob* did cause a bit of a stir at the pirate-themed birthday party he went to, I must admit.

On reflection, I think the Somali angle was a mistake on my part. The detail on the mock-automatic weaponry - on which I worked feverishly during the week - was not appreciated. Nor was the blacking-up.

You live and learn though, I suppose.