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I wonder if it's Mary. Since she got sacked from the dairy she doesn't have the access to calcium-rich products the way she used to.

Her nails are only remaining 'talony' by thrice daily application of varnish and she's starting to lean to one side, so she reckons her bones are on the slide, too.


And that Max Miller's been no use to her at all. He turned out to be a bit of a bad lot, all round.


And if it was a milk round she might've been alright.


Still she fell for his blandishments, but really if she'd just paid attention at his shows she could have seen the signs.

There are some clues in the song.


#I fell in love with Mary from the dairy

But Mary wouldn't fall in love with me.

Down by an old mill stream

We both sat down to dream

Little did she know that I was thinking up a scheme,


She said, 'Let's pick some buttercups and daisies',

But those buttercups were full of margarine

She slipped and we both

Down by a wishing well

In the same place where I fell for Nellie Dean.


I fell in love with Mary from the Dairy,

But Mary wouldn't fall in love with me;

Down by an old mill stream

We both sat down to dream:

That was when I offered her my strawberries and cream


We walked and talked together in the moonlight,

She asked me what I knew of farmery,

I said, 'Mary, I'm no fool,

You can't milk Barney's Bull.'

That's when Mary from the dairy fell for me.


Little did she know that I was thinking up a scheme,

The wife she says that she is going to leave me,

The moment that she does then I am free,

There's a little girl I know

I'll take her and I'll show,

Where Mary from the Dairy fell for me.#

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