Jump to content

Football Focus

jenniejenjen10

By jenniejenjen10
in The Lounge

 Share

Recommended Posts

Rhinestone Cowboy

Rhinestone Cowboy

Posted
Posted

Here we are again

Happy as can be


Tottenham 1 Man City 1

Aston Villa 1 West Ham 1

Blackburn 0 Everton 1

Bolton 0 Fulham 1

Sunderland 3 Birmingham 1

Wigan 0 Blackpool 0

Wolverhampton 1 Stoke 1

Chelsea 4 West Brom 0

Liverpool 1 Arsenal 1

Man Utd 5 Newcastle 0

SeanMacGabhann

SeanMacGabhann

Posted
Posted

The Fiver is in splendidly sardonic mode today


"It's great to be here. The Fiver thanks you. Your favourite daily tea-time email has been doing its annual Premier League preview for nearly 10 years now, so bear with us while we plaster on a fake smile and plough through this [rude word] one more time.

When it's not paraphrasing dead comedian Bill Hicks, the Fiver is generally doing one of two things: being resolutely unfunny, or sitting in a slightly less neon-bright corner of Big Paper office, clutching its knees to its chest, rocking imperceptibly and sobbing in anticipation of a new Premier League season.

Another campaign. Another nine months of having to listen to idiots complain about which team of indifferent money-driven foreign mercenaries were assembled for the lowest net spend. Of having to read sports pages that contain more information about leveraged buyouts than football. Of having to feign interest in Sir Alex Ferguson's latest hypocritical tantrum or the Big News that Zat Knight has been ruled out for three months with a mislaid shinpad.

Of listening to Andy Gray or Richard Keys say "it doesn't get bigger than this" as the players lined up in the tunnel at St Andrews shout "C'mon boys!" and Sky cut to an ad break just before the kick-off of Birmingham City v Blackburn Rovers. Like the posters on our sportblog who argue over whether Manchester City's sugar daddy is better than Chelsea's sugar daddy, we could go on and on and on and on and on and on and on. But unlike the etc and so on, we won't.

But away from all the hoop-la, once the players cross the white line and the football starts, things do occasionally turn interesting. Take tomorrow lunchtime, when Tottenham take on Manchester City in an encounter that hundreds of thousands of people are quite literally calling "a football match". But with a place at the Premier League summit up for grabs for the winners, it's so much more than that. You wait until MOTD2 the Fiver knows those wags among the support of both teams are getting hilarious top-of-the-table-after-one-game T-shirts printed at their local branch of Snappy Snap as we speak.

Elsewhere, title hopefuls Chelsea, Arsenal and Manchester United will be favourites to prevail in matches against teams such as West Brom, Liverpool and Newcastle, a couple of whom may get a result so that delusional Premier League cheerleaders can claim the competition isn't as predictable as everyone says.

Meanwhile Blackpool will attempt to get their inevitable relegation campaign off to a flyer by losing heavily against Wigan. "When we go there I can assure you I'm going to make it as tough for them as I can and I'm going to try to attack them because that is what I believe in," said Blackpool boss Ian Holloway, a manager who is funny, enjoys his football and insists his teams play it the right way, but will resemble a dead-eyed, burnt-out husk by December, when the bloated out-of-control behemoth that is the Best League In The World and its lapdog Sky have had their wicked way.

"

red devil

red devil

Posted
Posted

Funny caption Jah :))


Scores from the Manchester jury...


Tottenham 2 Man City 1 (SuperMario goes into his first strop because someone tells him the 3 gold stars above the club crest don't represent trophies...they just look nice and continental)

Aston Villa 1 West Ham 2 (Avram becomes honoury Cock-er-ney, until the first defeat that is, when the UP 'faithful' start baying for his blood)

Blackburn 2 Everton 2 (Just how football used to be played...:-S)

Bolton 2 Fulham 0 (Fayed cancels Hughes' Harrods Xmas hamper)

Sunderland 2 Birmingham 1 (Brucie wins a close one in battle of the ugliest ex-centre-halves)

Wigan 0 Blackpool 0 (Nuff said)

Wolverhampton 0 Stoke 0 (Ditto)

Chelsea 5 West Brom 2 (Baggies actually park their team coach in the goal, but forget to move it at half-time)

Liverpool 1 Arsenal 2 (Joe Cole realises he signed for the wrong team)

Man Utd 3 Newcastle 2 (late late late winner from Little Pea, showing his killer instinct in front of the goal, the ball ricochets in off his arse)

*Bob*

*Bob*

Posted
Posted

SeanMacGabhann Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> *Bob*

> I am in absolutely no doubt at all that you will

> hate it even more than you do now.


We shall see.


I'll be ascending via a lift to an executive box at the Emirates - for the opening match of the season at 'The Arsenal', where, so I'm told, free champagne and a 'posh pie' await.


It doesn't sound too bad on paper - apart from the football, obviously. But I'll be going in with an open mind.

red devil

red devil

Posted
Posted

*Bob*, it's the done thing for home supporters to wear attire to welcome the newly promoted opposing team's supporters and make them feel at home, part of the Premier League's 'One Big Happy Family' initiative, so for this game make sure you wear a bright tangerine 'Kiss Me Quick' hat...'Squeeze Me Slowly' optional...stick of rock?, oh go on then


Warning: do not hold aforementioned stick of rock whilst shouting ''Up the Arse!''

????

????

Posted
Posted
*Bob* get there early, tooled up - squirt or blade. Wear Fabirouci trainers, the ones with the blue tag ONLY, eh and Aquumuutume two stripe zip top with ur old hippo logo pink polo - got to show them northern muppets eh? NO Booze...booze is for scarfers,,,,bit of Bugles alright. The scouts will be out early looking for their top boys, not the bleedin christmas trees or stragglers, just their Lads who know the score and want it. GET IN.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing
  • Advertise Here

  • Latest Discussions

    • ak0910
      Rude Evri delivery in SE22

      By ak0910 · Posted

      Hi all, Wondering if anyone else in/around SE22 is also having the unfortunate luck of having Evri parcels delivered by a very rude individual? Whenever we have parcels delivered, our front gate is being slammed open and closed, ring doorbell is harshly banged (not pressed) followed by simultaneously banging on the door knocker and slamming the letter box multiple times. Someone is normally home by the time they come in the evening and never has to wait long for an answer. If we’re not home, we speak to them on the doorbell so we do find the actions of this individual unreasonable and rude.  We have tried a couple of times politely asking that they not do this but they are very dismissive and gives a passive-aggressive “have a nice day” reply.  Has anyone been able to contact Evri and successfully had any issues similar to this resolved? We have enough evidence through our doorbell footage but we are lost with what else we can do. We’ve tried asking politely but don’t want our gate or door damaged by someone who simply doesn’t care and lacks basic manners.    If anyone else is having this issue or has any advice on how we can report this, it would be much appreciated. After another dismissive reply to my concern this afternoon, I will be calling Evri tomorrow to raise a complaint. I have lost my patience with them 
    • Rockets
      Cllr Williams to stand down

      By Rockets · Posted

      Corbyn was unelectable - he got trashed by Boris who was a buffoon. It was a good job too because I would have hated to see Corbyn and his rag-tag bunch of far-left university politics backbenchers try to lead the country through Covid.  It is completely understandable why Starmer and the Labour Party want to purge Momentum from within their ranks and Cllr McAsh has fallen victim of that.
    • IlonaM
      The Chapel of Rest

      By IlonaM · Posted

      Ozzy Osbourne  https://www.theguardian.com/music/2025/jul/22/ozzy-osbourne-black-sabbath-frontman-and-icon-of-british-heavy-metal-dies-aged-76
    • nbb
      Recommendation for brilliant local Piano Teacher

      By nbb · Posted

      Hello.   Thanks Nigel and Hparker 😀   I've got new slots available for new students looking for a piano teacher or guitar teacher.   You could start in the new term beginning September, or I'm also available adhoc-styles through the summer holidays at times.   I teach all ages, in most styles, in lots of different ways according to how you learn/like to learn.   Give me a call or text on 07730 402336.   I have connections to lots of performance opportunities/networks too.   I run regular events /student concerts, and play in bands/perform.   Natalie. 

East Dulwich Forum

Established in 2006, we are an online community discussion forum for people who live, work in and visit SE22.

Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...