What would you do?

[Tarot]

Read the thread again Atticus. several mentions of class.i.e; posh kids, acadamies.escaped people.

New glasses perhaps.

[janine85]

These kids were bored, and have nothing/nowhere better to do/be then wind up others in the park. In my experience on kids generally being fools in places like this had the ball gone anywhere near your kid it would have been, "Ahhh, Miss. Im well sorry, it was him, we didn't mean it. Is he ok. Soz!" It's a shame, not a crime, and not a reflection on "broken britain," or whatever it is that's been hinted.

Were you never a kid? Or were your childhood days spent well mannered wih exemplaty behaviour skipping in the front garden?

do only the deprived, dragged up kids play football where there not supposed too?

[Tarot]

They should have passes to use for the parks so at least they could be traced by the appropriate authority when they cause antisocial behaviour.

[Tarot]

Oh dear deprived dragged up kids, here we go.

There would be no deprived kids if the parents looked after them better, got work and supported them better,educated themselves to get good jobs and not benifits,fathers could stay home instead of moving on and starting families of yet more deprived kids.

Manners cost nothing so that would be a plus, consideration for others too is free.

Spending less money on drink and cannibis would make them less deprived and more intelligent.

Maybe you should be a hammish and turn the other cheek and let the deprived walk all over you like a mat because they have had a deprived childhood.

Once your old enough to work your destiny is in your hands, cant keep blaming childhood for how crass you are.

[DJKillaQueen]

There's a difference between kids that are being s bit mischievious/ bending the rules etc Janine and kids being intimidating and deliberately rude. If it had been me I would have probably followed KK's example, taken the ball off them and kicked it into outer space. If I'd had a one year old child with me though I would have done exactly as the OP did and walked away, putting the safety of the child first. If these kids repeatedly play there and are rude/challenging to people then that can be something the ASB unit can look into.

[Atticus]

Tarot, your rant has left me confused... are you saying I condone their behaviour, if so, you couldn't be further from the truth (see my first post on the subject). I think all refs to private school were largely tongue in cheek. The original poster asked 'what would you do?' ie confront or not. you seem to have taken the opportunity to rant about society's great ills. There are plenty other threads already in existence for that.

[Tarot]

Your always confused.

[Otta]

They should have passes to use for the parks so at least they could be traced by the appropriate authority when they cause antisocial behaviour.

Who is going to ask them to show their passes? Or do you think they'd stop to show their pass after doing something "antisocial"?

What an absolute load of balls!

[Parkdrive]

I would have done the same as Amoeba, but it is sad that youngsters of that age should act that way. And there is a clear difference between youthful high jinx and down right obnoxious brats, and these would seem to fall in to the latter category rather than the former. This is indicative of society in general where confrontation and an absence of courtesy and good manners is common place and, more worryingly, is accepted as the "norm".

[Tarot]

If the parks were fenced and contained then a pass to get through the gate or turnstyle would be recorded and the. card user could be identified.

In the future this would probably be the norm so dont have such a limited view Otta.

[sillywoman]

I have teenage sons (though I'd be livid if I thought they behaved like that anywhere). I've found that agreeing with their "you can't touch me" posturing often deflates and diffuses their aggressive response. So I think I'd have said something along the lines of;

"You're right - I can't make you, but I can ask you. There's lots of room in the park for us all & I was hoping you could play ball elsewhere. If you won't move then we will, but it's entirely your choice. AS you said I can't make you do do anything."

I'm often surprised at how effective this kind of reasoned comment can be. I think it's because it puts them on an equal footing with you (the adult), and gives the impression of showing them some respect - something all teenagers seem to crave?

[Parkdrive]

sillywoman Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I have teenage sons (though I'd be livid if I

> thought they behaved like that anywhere). I've

> found that agreeing with their "you can't touch

> me" posturing often deflates and diffuses their

> aggressive response. So I think I'd have said

> something along the lines of;

>

> "You're right - I can't make you, but I can ask

> you. There's lots of room in the park for us all &

> I was hoping you could play ball elsewhere. If you

> won't move then we will, but it's entirely your

> choice. AS you said I can't make you do do

> anything."

>

> I'm often surprised at how effective this kind of

> reasoned comment can be. I think it's because it

> puts them on an equal footing with you (the

> adult), and gives the impression of showing them

> some respect - something all teenagers seem to

> crave?

But it shouldn't have to come to that, should it? Why can people like this not understand how distressing for others their actions can be.

[sillywoman]

. . . because generally a teenagers primary consideration will be not to lose face in front of their friends, rather than not causing distress to others. I'm sure there's someone on here qualified to talk about brain development and necessary social stages and so on - stuff that's way beyond me. I can only speak from experience rather than knowledge.

I don't condone their behaviour at all. Like the OP I suspect I would have felt alarmed & a bit frightened, but sometimes if you can acknowledge that a teen does have the power over you then that gives them the authority (respect?) they crave and frees their mind from the need to posture so it can make the right and decent choice. I think of it like a quid pro quo - you've acknowledged they're powerful in front of their mates, so they'll act rightly and do as you wished in the first place, but making it look as though they're the one who decided to do it because they're decent people. They keep their cool status.

In defence of teens in general (though not these specific ones), I've found them to be generally courteous, well mannered and respectful of others - with a little nudge sometimes in the right direction. I don't really think that the world is going to hell in a handcart with our coming generation.

[Huggers]

That week did encompass half term for some schools- including some state schools, one of which takes two weeks for autumn half term.