To the mother of one child

[Fuschia]

Ignore the providence and I think 3 counts as a large family in

Ed, but this is worth reading

http://www.ncregister.com/blog/to-the-mother-with-only-one-child

[snowboarder]

So true! Now with 'only' two children I sometimes wonder what on earth caused me to make so much fuss when there was just the one, and now when I just have one or other with me it seems easy. But GOD it wasn't at the time when there was only one!

[Fuschia]

It's the most difficult job in the world, and no induction or training!

[Inkmaiden]

What a ridiculous patronising piece of writing- a thinly veiled justification for continuing to procreate in an already overpopulated world, posing as advice for those of us with "only" one child. I can imagine it would be very very hard to become a mother if you were that massively neurotic in the first place. I wasn't really that shocked by the way my life and my perception of myself changed after I had my daughter.

I don't think my life is hard, I think it's lovely. I don't find it an epic struggle, I just call it being a mother-you don't come first any more, it doesn't matter. And I don't need to have more children to learn to let go of the one I already have. The number of children you have doesn't make it any easier, or harder. I'm not in awe of women who have had many children, it was their choice and they have more washing to do. The experience of motherhood is what you make it, makes no difference whether you have one or ten children.

[Belle]

Hmm, as ever it's v subjective. Lord knows, I definitely found it an epic struggle (still do sometimes) and know many many others who did too. Life is what you make it, well yes - but it's not always so simple is it? sometimes life changes can make your ability to manage very difficult, and I don't believe that not being able to cope very easily in the early days equates to being 'neurotic'.

[dulwichgirl2]

I see it as extremely easy and extremely hard at the same time.

I had no problem with the main essential though - giving up everything and becoming an unpaid servant of small demanding bosses. Weirdly, that suits me ok!

[Inkmaiden]

Belle, I don't for one second equate not being able to cope in the early days with being neurotic- the early days can be very hard, exhausting and somewhat terrifying. I was talking about beyond the newborn bit and specifically referring to the author who sounds like she just needed to get over herself.

[Sanne Panne]

Yes in the early days of #2 (and probably increasingly so with #3 and onwards) you do wonder what the hell you were worried about and busy with in the early days with #1 (until you remember you were new to parenthood then) but I still find the article incredibly condescending.

[Belle]

Inkmaiden Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Belle, I don't for one second equate not being

> able to cope in the early days with being

> neurotic- the early days can be very hard,

> exhausting and somewhat terrifying. I was talking

> about beyond the newborn bit and specifically

> referring to the author who sounds like she just

> needed to get over herself.

Fair enough - sorry if I seemed over sensitive, I probably am! The whole how easy/hard it is with a baby thing always gets me going...

I don't like all of what the article says, but do get the basic sentiment: that just because you have fewer children than someone else, doesn't mean you're not entitled to find it hard. I really do struggle to imagine having 9 kids though! someone was telling me that on that new midwife prog on bbc 1, there was a mother with 25 kids. I could not get my head around that...

[Fuschia]

Yeah, don't have much sympathy with religious mothers of many. But i recognised the thing about the difficulties of the early days, with the first one. Mind you, I still think everybody else is more organised, more patient than me, etc. I think of other people as being 'real mums' !

[Fuschia]

Yeah, don't have much sympathy with religious mothers of many. But i recognised the thing about the difficulties of the early days, with the first one. Mind you, I still think everybody else is more organised, more patient than me, etc. I think of other people as being 'real mums' !