Mayor of ED

[jim_the_chin]

Imagine our glorious leaders decide that local London areas needs Mayors - which local character would you choose to lead us?

[Betterat50m]

The fox that steals shoes or pappa Johns

[maxxi]

Admin of course! With Mrs Admin. as the fragrant Mayoress...

*denies writing this solely for the purpose of having thread lounged so a whole 'cabinet' of local 'ministers' can be voted on.*

*puts ?10 on quids being voted as minister for political equanimity, UDT as workshop leader for conciliatory rapproachment, Huge as minister for waste management, red devil in charge of graffitti clean-up, and computed shorty as youth development minister*

[jim_the_chin]

Without wanting to impose too much reality on this, 'local character' can mean someone not on the forum.

I was chatting to the Greetings card man earlier and his traffic rant inspired me to think of a Borisesque mouthpiece for the community.

[edhistory]

I would be the best candidate for Chair of the East Dulwich Boundary Commission.

John K

[maxxi]

I see. My apologies. Reality eh?

*slips quietly out*

[midnightrunnerfan]

I like the cut of this midnight runner's jib.

[HAL9000]

Bagsie replacement AE-35 unit manager.

[davidh]

obviously has to be james barber. *runs screaming from the room*

[computedshorty]

?Computed shorty as Youth development Minister.?

It has been suggested that I become the ?Youth development Minister? for the East Dulwich Town Council , it is some sixty five years ago that I had my youth years, so I might be a little out of touch with present day standard that a youth is expected to be offered.

There are observations that are very prominent in every day life seeing things that are done by youths.

The graffiti does make the area look unsightly.

My recommendation is that invisible ink is used by the manufacturer to be added to the paint, to make the Graffiti vanish over night, thus saving on the manpower and equipment to remove it saving untold sums of rate payers money.

Speed calming Humps.

These be removed intact and stacked on Goose Green to form a high Skateboard ramp and jump for the youths to practice.

In the place of the Calming Humps a traffic speed restriction sign connected with a Stinger strip of spikes, if the driver still exceeded the limit the Stinger would automatically be deployed causing the tyres to be punctured, the cost of replacing the four tyres would deter the driver having to replace them. This would save the Police time costs and Court ruling and Fine.

Zebra Crossings.

A Railway style crossing gates fitted to be closed to drivers, then alternate that the Pedestrians are held in safety by gates on the pavement.

Street furniture.

There are thousands of poles, posts, bins , Telephone boxes, advertisement hoardings these are spread all over the pavement causing obstruction to the free passage of those using the pavement, surely it would be more fitting that these were moved in line to the edge of the pavement near to the curb.

This would serve two purposes one to stop vehicles mounting the pavement , the other would protect the pedestrians from those vehicles and prevent damage to the surface of the footway.

Street Name Signs.

Remove all metal Name signs, in their place repaint in aluminous paint ( for night travellers ) the name.

The removed Name boards and the unused poles be taken to Goose Green and a Bungee Jump Tower and platform be built.

Curfew and Street lights.

Street lights be turned off at 1 o/clock until 5 o/clock, to save the cost of electricity used, this will allow privacy to the Taxi Driver to place bottles on the wall.

Curfew,

Any Tagged person out after their time will not attend Court , each breach of conditions will attract a I Kilo weight to be fitted to the Tag. This added weight might deter any further breaches.

I will present my C.V. That does have a Proviso that I am issued with a Motorised Zimmer.

[jim_the_chin]

That's a decent manifesto there cs (be sure to completely ignore it when elected like the current westminster shower).

Although I asked for mayoral candidates it looks like people want a cabinet. Who wants the transport brief then?

[GSJ57]

That would have to be the sorely missed Station Master Barry.

[computedshorty]

Perhaps the Police Station in Lordship Lane could be used as the East Dulwich Town Hall, I think all the horses have now been rehoused elsewhere. It would be very nice to have a Mayor to relpace the former Mares.

Not realy a need to apply to Planning for change of use.

[computedshorty]

Who wants the transport brief then?

Not me,

been there done that, cost you a fortune to be a Mason.

[red devil]

Thanks shorty, you've made me redundant before I even get the job!

I might be interested in the Transport brief though, providing there's a couple of Jags going with it...

[computedshorty]

No Jags I got a Land Rover.

[Atticus]

Big Bad Wolf... think Schwarzenegger, Regan, Boris