recommendation wanted for counsellor for teenager

[Greengage]

I'm a regular on the forum, but under a new name so as not to identify my teenager.

Out of the blue (to the teen's parents, at least) my teenager has self-harmed and says they don't know why they did it. The teen is usually happy, has friends, and is not under any pressure that we are aware of.

Although the teen doesn't want any fuss made and says it won't happen again, we would like a recommendation for a service or counsellor who could talk to our teen about coping strategies and/or to unpick why this happened.

We would be very grateful for any advice from anyone who has any experience in this area. Thank you

[mickeymonkey]

Hi Greengage,

Sorry to hear of these difficulties with your young person. I have PMd you.

[redjam]

Hi Greengage, sorry to hear about this and I'm sure you will get lots of helpful recommendations on here. You sound like a lovely concerned parent. However, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that if your teen normally seems happy and this is out of character for them and a one-off, is it really necessary for them to see a counsellor, especially as they've asked not to have any fuss made? I'm just thinking back to my own teen days, when I did all sorts of crazy shit, mainly because I was a teenager and at that age you're just experimenting and are so heavily influenced by friends (and these days, social media). I would have been mortified if I'd been forced to 'talk through' any of my issues with a counsellor - I don't think I could have articulated anything because, at heart, I didn't have any real issues beyond normal teenage angst. It would have just made me think there was something really wrong with me.

Obviously you know your own child best (and my thoughts about it would be very different if you'd said they were generally unhappy) but I just worry that as a society we pathologise normal feelings of sadness, stress or thrill-seeking - all of which teenagers clearly have in abundance. Obviously you'd need to keep an eye on them and if it happens again then that's a whole other story - but I feel there's almost a peer pressure amongst teens at the moment to show how screwed up they are, so it's no wonder that essentially happy kids might get caught up in this and want to try out something like self-harming to 'join the gang'. If it's a one-off experiment, maybe best to leave it alone.

Anyway, just my two cents'-worth and I certainly don't want to minimise the distress this must be causing you. Good luck with it all whatever you decide to do.

[Greengage]

I'd like to thank MickeyMonkey, Redjam and the people that have sent private messages.

Really appreciate the advice.

Thanks to the forum, I now have a name of someone who works in this area - and am organising for my teen to have an assessment to see what's needed.