Are we asking too much from a babysitter?

[ryedalema]

I wince so hard when I ask this, as I feel I'm probably not going to like the answer (and will get drummed out of the nice-mum brownies), but...

What can and can't you ask a babysitter to do?

I think I'm clear on the expectations of someone when you ask them to babysit in the evening. We nearly always do the bedtime routine before we go out of an evening, so we're basically paying reasonable ?s for someone to watch our TV - but am totally fine with that. Just happy if the fridge isn't cleared out and the pay-per-views racked up into double figures.

But if you ask them to babysit during the day, can you...

- ask them to carry out 'structured entertainment' with a child?

When I say structured I mean stuff like read a book or cook something or practise writing or paint a picture or go to the park + pick up another child? (Extra funds for when two children are being looked after)

We're paying the asking rate, but have just really upset a babysitter who we thought was cool with that.

What is it that's expected of a babysitter if they look after a child during the day?

Gawd - I really wish there was a manual for all of this sometimes...

Oh and btw - we need a new babysitter, so if anyone has any recommendations??

We're really nice really! Promise:))

[Goodliz]

If someone is babysitting during the day I would expect them to do activities with the children e.g. go to the park if weather OK, soft play perhaps if weather bad.

I would normally suggest stuff to take the children to, read a book, do activity books, or have a DVD and some drawing etc planned if going out not an option.

I always pay more for daytime babysitting as it is much harder than babysitting in the evenng once the kids are in bed.

I think your thread sounds reasonable. Imagine how hard babysitting would be during the day if the babysitter sat there and just watched the telly the whole time - my kids would be bouncing off the walls!

Liz

[womanofdulwich]

I think babysitting is one quite passive thing but you are describing childcare which is a different thing.

[ryedalema]

Hmmm - but if they've advertised themselves as being available for daytimes...

I just can't picture them being passive while the child is awake - is this a terminology thing then? Am I asking for the wrong thing?

Totally get the extra money tho' and would be happy to bump it up - as I absolutely understand that it's a different job.

Sigh....

[espelli]

I did a lot of babysitting when I was at school and uni and also did daytimes in the holidays and weekends. I always referred to what I did as babysitting.

I think if someone has advertised as being available for daytimes they would be expecting to do more with the children than just watch tv. If you are not paying nanny rates then it would be good to have planned something simple or have suggestions for something to do, rather than expecting the babysitter to show initiative, but the ideas you give in your first post seem reasonable.

[Saffron]

The only difference I personally make between a babysitter and a nanny is that a nanny has a contract and works set times. A babysitter does one-offs like an evening out, or if the nanny is sick. I pay a babysitter the same hourly rate as a nanny, and I expect the same quality of care.

I used to be a part time nanny and also a babysitter for many years. I never distinguished between the level of care. I looked after all the children just the same, and I always engaged them if they were little (older children sometimes want to chill on their own w books etc of course).

[Belle]

When I was 17 or so I looked after a 10yr old during the school s ummer holidays while her parents were at work. I now cringe looking back as I did v little in the way of organised or creative activities with her, though in my defence I wasn't encouraged to, or told what might be appropriate for her. I remember a bit of baking, cinema trips, going out to the sweet shop/playground, maybe swimming once or twice. But I feel bad now that she must have been so bored in those six long weeks! So what i think I'd expect based in having been in the babysitter's shoes, and now being a parent, is yes def some activity but maybe set out various ideas to get them started? Does depend what age they are too I guess...I guess it's a case of discussing it at the outset and checking they are cool with it. But surely any sitter would prefer children who aren't bouncing off the walls, I do agree that it'd be hard NOT to do something with them!

[Mum2be]

A baby sitter is someone who sit for you of a evening when children are in bed if you need child care during the day you need a ad hoc nanny who you should pay more than a babysitter

[Scruffy Mummy]

I too was a very slack and rather dis-interested teenage babysitter. I remember once I lost a regular babysitting job because I didn't do anything with the kids except watch TV all day on a Saturday. I don't know what I was thinking! I wasn't very clued into the kids I was looking after and too much in my own world I think! I use a 15 year teenage babysitter now occassionally - mainly at night after my son is in bed but sometimes in the daytime for short periods. My 7 year old thinks she is very cool and for those times we have used her in the daytimes she will go out with him to the park and draw with him at home. My feeling is if they are 17 or under, untill you know them & how they will be it's best to not leave them too long in the daytime - with my teenage babysitter we had a few trial runs with us in the house and at the park with her and my son to see how she got on and to suggest activities and things to do etc. etc.

HOWEVER, if the babysitter is 20 or over, I think should be mature enough to sort out activities in the daytime and do some entertaining! I also use babysitter in her twenties and she is lively and fun and reads and does all sorts of fun things with my boy who is completely charmed by her.

[ryedalema]

Wow - thanks all.

Mum2be - am absolutely not disputing paying more for daytime/awake hours.

Scruffy Mummy - I'll pm you. But the latter is def the case here..

[ryedalema]

So ummm...what do you guys think is a fair rate for night time babysitting, vs daytime 'babysitting'?

I appreciate it's a really delicate question.

We pay ?7ish per hour for night time babysitting (more for two children), and make sure they've a way of getting home safely.

How much more would be the daytime 'bump up'? We always pay for out of pocket expenses, food, travel, tickets to things etc (and give a bit for a treat or two), so just advice on the 'basic' would be really fab.

xxxx

[Polmoche]

You need a new babysitter. I pay 7.50/ my 2 kids. She comes after I have bathed and fed them, and has about 2 hours before they go to bed (she puts them to bed). She is fab--she reads to them, plays games with them, chats with them, etc before putting them to bed. When I was a babysitter as a teenager and as a uni student, I played with the kids--it was fun!! Find someone who likes kids! Also--totally unacceptable to clear out the fridge and rack up double-digit pay per view charges--that just shows a complete lack of respect. I'm happy for babysitter to have dinner/snack etc, but "clearing out the fridge"? And one pay per view movie, fine, double digit charges NO. There are many wonderful babysitters out there, you just need to keep looking (this is what we have found!).

[womanofdulwich]

i think the london living wage is ?8.50an hour.imight pay that to a student but ?10 to someone with childcare qualifications-or maybe a bit more. It depends how many hours really. If someoen has to get the bus to you or drive then it has to be worth their while.

[Vickster]

?10 per hour is top whack for a nanny currently I believe, so you definitely shouldn't be paying more than that for daytime care.

[echo]

Would using the term 'mother's help' be a better way of describing the type of role you would like?

Last year I found a wonderful 'mothers help' via the EDF to give me a bit of respite a few hours a week. She was a student nurse and was brilliant at doing a range of tasks, including babysitting, taking the kids to the park, cooking their meal etc etc. Mostly I was at home, but occasionally I would leave her in charge whilst I got on with things childfree (hooray!)

I put an ad on the EDF and offered the London Living wage. I was pleased with the responses and we found our brilliant H. She is working full time now, but I know if we need her, I can call and she may be available.

There are lots of very suitable people out there, maybe look for someone who is very interested in play? who is studying in a related field such as a trainee primary teacher/social worker/ etc? But mostly it is someone who is motivated to make your children happy because they like them, respect them and are interested in doing the sort of things they like.

Good luck with finding someone

[Saffron]

I don't distinguish between day/nighttime rates and always pay around ?10/hr.

[Mum2be]

Vickster I think you will find simply child are and other nanny sites will tell you otherwise , if a nanny is doing babysitting of a night even if putting children to bed I think ?8 is a fare rate maybe a younge student would be cheaper , however child care during the day by a nanny who can ensure the day will be filled with fun activities and learning , cleaning , lunch ect can charge up to ?12 for one child , I think if you are paying a babysitter during the day ?8 ph they should still 100% do activities and park trips with your children but not be expected to do house chors or cooking (meals should be prepared ) remember people you are trusting these nannies, babysitters with the most important thing in your life (your children) find a nanny that's worth every penny don't find one that's the cheapest

[dulwichgirl2]

Vickster - 10 quid net is what many nannies charge these days. Quite where they think we get it from, out of post tax income, I have no idea...

[Mum2be]

I would pay ?20 ph if I felt it was the right nanny , we are looking for people to step in as us to teach our children the ways of the world , for those of you who have jobs and get paid more than ph than u pay ur nanny I assume you do otherwise you would work , no job is more important than child care

[Vickster]

I was told by simply childcare that in the current climate, ?10 ph net was at the upper end of the spectrum, but as dulwichgirl2 points out, most nannies seem to charge that. I have never personally encountered a nanny paid higher, but I have not been looking in the norland nanny category. Mum2be, good luck to you if you can afford to pay a nanny ?20 per hour. If you had a nanny full time, you would be looking at a net salary of around ?4000 per month, and you woold need to pay their tax and Ni on top of that, probably around ?800 a month. ?57k per year. That's a hell of a lot out of your NET salary. You would need to be earning in excess of ?100k a year just to pay your nanny, never mind other outgoings.

Edited to say, Mum2be, I have actually just looked at your previous posts and realise you are a nanny. Your posts above make more sense now.

[Clazza]

I babysit & regularly play with the children, games, crafts , reading before bed, sometimes bath & maybe do dinner as well if it is an early start. No extra cost it's just part of an evening babysitting, I wouldn't do it if I didn't like children. I would never dream of doing a pay for view TV, just watch the normal one & bring a DVD with me if Sky isn't there.

If daytime , then yes going to parks, swimming etc is all normal so is indoor & outdoor play. With a bit of an uplift from night time pay rates. So no you are so not expecting anything abnormal!

[ryedalema]

So...now I'm confused about pay, and terminology.

We'd absolutely not expect anyone we employed for babysitting to do any household chores - except those directly related to looking after our child (so preparing lunch for instance - and I'd almost always have something pre-prepped for that anyway).

I guess if they cooked something together tho' it'd be great if they cleared up the undoubted bombsite that my lot usually manage to muster.

Just need to clarify something else. I've never had a babysitter that abused the fridge or pay-per-view, that was me being thankful that that hasn't been the case - guess I should have wordsmithed that sentence a bit more..sorry if I offended/alarmed anyone!

And yes totally agree with not finding the cheapest option for looking after our treasured offspring - but equally OMG some of the numbers being bounced around here are astronomic!! I'd be really happy to work with whoever babysat with us on a fair rate and terms to build a great relationship with our two. As you say - it's lovely (and so much easier) if our girls build a rapport with someone and actually look forward to them coming over.

[Monkey]

I would not get too worried about terminology. It's just common sense really: if you look after kids during the day, you entertain them, play with them, read to tem, talk to them. Full stop. Sounds like you are better off without this young lady.

We pay the lovely lady who looks after our precious daughter ?10 an hour. She only does day time. And an hour started is an hour paid even if I come home early.

[GCOakley]

having been a young babysitter myself, can i just throw in that the parents can really help by telling the kids what activities they will do with the babysitter. i had lots of intentions to do creative things and not watch the telly, but the kids just whined that their parents always let them watch the telly. i would give in, nervous of making them upset and then tell their parents that i was no fun. maybe a clear telly rule for all involved would help.

[Mum2be]

I'm a nanny with child so I'm in both ends of the boat

And I only charge ?8.00 ph just for the recorded , I'm just saying I don't think mums should grumble about the cost of there younge ones to be cared for by the right person