Quiet zones?!

[rgutsell]

Hiya all

I am fed up with loud buses, loud drunken people, loud telephone conversations, and the occasional fight, and loud fast moving emergency vehicles and motorbikes, and loud church goers, on East Dulwich Grove after 11pm. Any night.

I propose "residential quiet zones" be set up by local people. We could have large red frightening notices at the edges of the zones, warning people that they are entering quiet zones, and that uniformed edf vigilantes will leap out of hedges and use sticky tape to shut them up. (No one Expects the edf inquisition)

We could have electronic signs, like those speed warning signs, that light up with a smiley face if you are talking on your mobile under 40 decibels, and then with a terse "F&8%k off you noisy, selfish b^"*&^d" if you are over.

We could have hidden ramps in the road, that measure the noise levels of fast approaching emergency vehicles, motorbikes etc, and suddenly flip up in front of them according to how noisy they are. Quiet vehicles will get small bumps. Noisy ones will take off and land somewhere near Dulwich Village. (going east, that is!)

Any other suggestions?

And really.....why not have quiet zones?

Yours

R N Gutsell

[the-e-dealer]

We would have to have noisy cnut zones too where they could bang about happily. Yes excellenat Idea. E - Petition?

[KidKruger]

That's what the countryside is for.

[silverfox]

Ear plugs may be cheaper

[the-e-dealer]

Cant I say cnut? What if I was specifying the parts to build a cengine? C*N*U*T

[xrayspecs]

While on the whole I agree with you, you can't bracket 'fast moving emergency vehicles' into this. They need the quickest route, going as fast as is reasonably practicle, and sirens to tell people to get out of the way. Hence the word 'emergency'!

[jctg]

There is help

http://noiseabatementsociety.com/

[Loz]

You could move to the Outer Hebrides.

Or otherwise just accept that, in a city of 8m people, there may be some noise.

[the-e-dealer]

oh dear sorry.

[rgutsell]

Hallo

I agree. The noisy zones could be anywhere on Lordship Lane within 50 meters of a pub.

Yours

R N Gutsell

[Loz]

Yep - it's them "loud church goers".

[rgutsell]

Believe me!!! LOL

They ARE loud church goers! They are very commited and vociferous in their faith. Then they come out and happily chat loudly at silly hours o0f the day/night. And bang their car doors and happily watch their noisy kids playing about without intervention.

At the risk of being a cruddy old English fart, I don't mind their faith, I'm envious of their happiness, but I wish they would shut the F%^$&k up!

(With tounge in cheek)

Yours

Robert N Gutsell

[New Girl]

I live on this road also, and I completely agree with you! I'm all for emergency service ploughing through the streets to save lives, fight crime (in Batman suit) and do their job. What I don't appreciate is the loud mouthing arguments on the street, the crazy guy who shouts and screams at passers by, and stupid drivers who use this road to reverse into the main road and use it as some racing track. They nearly hit a young girl the other day! I just want some peace and quiet minus the 'Jesus is a Saviour' blaring out. (I'm a part time Chatholic so God will for give me for preaching this. One hopes....)