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Dogs in the park

Captain Marvel

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I like dogs. I also like to trot around the park in a kind of staggering, on-the-point-of-death kind of way. I fell over a tree root last year and fractured a finger but that's been the extent of the injuries in five years.

There's one nasty looking stunted Lassie type dog that's come after me a couple of times and on the second occasion I had not impolite words with the lady owner who accused me of bullying her dog.

However last week, a couple of playful mutts sideswiped me and down I went. I'm 6ft 2 so it's a long way down: skinned both knees, both elbows and the palm of one hand. Lieutenant Marvel was picking gravel out of me for half an hour.

I've now got dog fear and try to avoid peak dog early mornings but even at midday, people with pooches and little bags of poo are everywhere.

Today, a big violent looking sod got right up behind me trying to push its nose up my rear end and only ten yards further on a thing that looked like a hairy sock came at me growling whilst its owner ineffectually twittered 'Lucky! Sloppy! Dicky! or whatever it was called.

I appreciate that you owners need a place where you can wring out your exotic breeds but if any of you read this; pity the poor jogger

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