breastfeeding 8 month old to sleep

[lucyA1308]

Hello there,

you will probably see loads of posts here about getting my toddler off to sleep, which she now does brilliantly.

I now am having difficulty with the 8 month old.

I was determined to get a better sleeping pattern with the baby than I managed with her big sister, that was working well until she became much more active, and standing up in the cot, no matter how sleepy she seems, all she wants to to is get back up again.

Her big sister manages to sleep through all this shenanagins now, but I am not doing so well with the baby, and now resorting to breast feeding her to sleep.

I did do this for about a year with my older daughter, but all the books tell you this is wrong. We eventually figured it out with the older one, when she could understand that being put down in the cot meant bed time. She was a bit over a year old by this time.

My question is this - is it really wrong to breast feed a baby to sleep?

I did it 1st time round, and she eventually grew out of it.

Or should I be tough now, in order to make the transition from breastfeeding dependency easier later on. Presumably we will have the same battles, she will just be a bit older, and better able to understand.

Thanks,

lucy

[Convex]

The mantra I go by now is 'if it isn't a problem for you then it isn't a problem' which I am pretty surei read on here.

I have the same problem with my son standing up in the cot and shrieking unless I get the moment absolutely right when I put him into the cot. So probably 3 nights out of 4 I feed him his bottle and then hold him until he is asleep and then put him down.

It's my first baby so I guess I'm hoping I can sleep train him later like you describe with your first baby.

So.... Not tips, just.... Me too!

[verds]

Me too. In fact, I'm doing it now. The older generation call it 'making a rod for your own back'. I call it 'the only way to watch trash telly in peace'.

I did read something about doing shorter feeds to wean them off it in the night, but like you I have a toddler too so I tend to do what gives me the most sleep.

I'd be interested to get some advice too though!

[JBoylen]

I'm with convex so I'll be following this one.

[lucyA1308]

The last few nights, i have been trying the shorter feeds, bringing her off the boob just as she looks ready for sleep, but she then wakes up and is more cross, and so after another test of endurance, I give in and give her a bit more. Feeling totally dehydrated myself now.

i have also just spoken to my mum, who has been very strict with me, making sure my toddler learns about good bedtime habbits. She said it is OK to breastfeed the baby to sleep, and they learn eventually. So perhaps I am putting the baby and me through unnecessary anguish when we could just be enjoying a nice cosy feed together.

[GinaG3]

I breastfed my daughter to sleep until she was 2 years old. She couldnt sleep without being fed, I mean she physically just wouldnt! Everyone constantly told me I was making problems for myself and her, in actual fact I felt I was doing what my baby felt safe and comfortable doing. When she stopped feeding she learnt a new way to fall to sleep, within a matter of days it wasn't an issue at all. Knocking on 4 she falls asleep in the blink of an eye and sleeps right through. Issue? Where? Lol. I don't see it as a problem at all, if mum and baby are happy with it that's what counts.

[KikiMac]

I think the not breast-feeding to sleep theory is that if they don't get themselves off to sleep at the beginning of the night they won't know how to re-settle themselves when they stir in the night. If night waking isn't a problem for you then, as Convex says, it isn't a problem!

[Jessie]

Same as Gina. Fed my son to sleep till he was 2. Now he's 7 and sleep is not and never has been an issue. Follow your maternal instincts and just enjoy these special early years.

[Convex]

It's funny, he needs me to get him to sleep but when he wakes in the night he mostly resettles. I think we let him get too overstimulated in the evenings maybe. But he and his dad have such fun then I wouldn't want to stop that yet.

[Fuschia]

I think it's nature's way (why else would evening breastmill have sleep inducing properties)

It's such a lovely snuggly part of the day, and it's time you can never bring back

If it works for you now, I wouldn't second guess the future too much

You might as well say that carrying your newborn around means they will never walk, or putting them

In nappies means they will never toilet train

Things change, nothing stays the same

Try to enjoy the 'now'

[Fuschia]

Nice little article

http://theawakenedparent.org/2011/07/25/older-babies-who-are-still-breastfeeding-at-night/

[Saila]

the breast feeding counsellor at kings (who was great) advised the mums to gently blow on the baby's eyes before putting them down, to wake them. This woke them very slightly. Then the baby settles himself back to sleep

That's what i did and we never had any problems with self-settling in the middle of the night

[Jessie]

that's a lovely blog post, Fuschia.

[lucyA1308]

yes, fuscia, really lovely. Saila - a good idea. Worth a try. Thanks everyone.

[toomuchchocolate]

Great post Fuschia, really lovely.

Saila - i'm going to try that tonight as my 5 month old is waking twice per night and i'm exhausted. Even though it's not a lot of wakings my son was sleeping through from 9 weeks, so i had high expectations...quickly dashed!

[mrs f]

This actually made me laugh out loud

"Me too. In fact, I'm doing it now. The older generation call it 'making a rod for your own back'. I call it 'the only way to watch trash telly in peace'. "

I fed my son just before putting him to bed until we gave up bfeeding at 14months, sometimes he went to sleep and others he didn't. Also if he woke in the night ill or teething I'd more often than not feed him back to sleep as it was very quick!

he is now 16m and get's annoyed with me if I try to get him out of his cot to give him calpol & a cuddle when he is teething! And there is no way in hell he would fall asleep on me now