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A few from W C Fields:


Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.

A woman drove me to drink, and I'll be a son-of-a-gun but I never even wrote to thank her.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

  • 3 weeks later...

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