Losing the willpower with mealtimes - and a fear of flies??

[jennyh]

So for the last 2 weeks my 18 month old has become obsessed with things being 'hot'. It started before we went on holiday, got worse when we were away and is still doing my head in now we are home. EVERYTHING that goes near her mouth is hot - toast, pasta, yoghurt, grapes, beans, cheese...etc. obviously many of the things are stone cold but she purses her lips and refuses to eat, as a result she has grazed for quite some time and fills up on snacks between meals. Whilst we were away the hire car got very hot in the sun so she became very upset about that being hot, as a result she also claims our carseat here is hot. Lukewarm bath water is hot, her drinkin water is hot. The sun on the carpet is hot. Its not something that I have taught her in particular so it must be a nursery thing.

I am try to be patient and we just say 'nope it's not hot, it's nice' and will try the food ourselves etc, let her feed it to us, let her do it in her own time but the phase is starting to really grate on me and just wondered if anyone else has been here and has any bright ideas. We are not really entertaining it much and tend to just say 'nope, it's fine' rather than dwell on it or make a big deal about it but it rarely results in a decent meal. Any tips!

Whilst I'm here as well - any suggestions on an extreme fear of flies??? I understand why she's freaked out by them as it must be odd seeing something that buzzes around your head and makes an odd noise, is fast etc. when on holiday it away the cause of constant tears and terrified leaping into my arms and again is continuing at home. To be honest it ha prob been going on for a few months. Again we reassure her, say hello to the flies (which she does), draw pictures of them with smiley faces, have books about them etc. Anyone else have a mtoddler sensitive to insects (also weird about ants and bees etc too.)

Thanks forumites!

[cornelia]

Not sure what to suggest except keep up the good work and just wait it out. Weird toddler phobias do seem to come and go. My 16 month old has been terrified of such things as baby dolls with plasticky arms/legs/heads, and most recently wind-up or battery-powered toys that move or make a sound. At first he would run away from such toys crying, but over time it seems to improve. He's already completely fine with the dolls again, and doesn't cry or run from moving toys, though he still won't (usually) touch them... Who knows what it's all about, eh?

[Beagle]

We had a similar thing at maybe 18/19 months. It was frustrating as every meal time everything was hot and also the bath was hot (even when it wasn't) but in retrospect I think it was a concept thing, she was learning that some things were hot and it probably came from me "don't touch that. It's hot" for my coffee etc. She would see the steam and say "hot" or never go near the oven (even when turned off) as it was "hot".

Now at 23 months it has largely gone, I wasn't even aware of the phase passing it just isn't prevalent everyday, but has been replaced by "scary". At the moment everything is "scary", thomas the tank engine on tv, dogs in the park. I can only assume with awareness comes emotions and little heads have to make the best sense they can of everything. For a while spiders were fascinating and funny, this week they are "scary" but that seems to be as much derived from the reactions she sees in other people to spiders/bees/wasps etc etc. Although flies are ok as she finds it amusing to see me swat at them with a tea towel and say " go away dirty fly"

It will pass (and be replaced!)

[jennyh]

Thanks, yes that makes sense. I just find it infuriating but I suppose I am oddly grateful that she is finding her way in the world. I want to support her but struggle sometimes when I need to take some time out, its interesting that you have had the same experience and moved on from it! Not that I imagined things would be hot for the rest of her life but you know what I mean. Deep breaths are required a lot!

[Beagle]

Yes, it is frustrating, especially when you think they don't eat enough, drink enough. We go up and down with meals but I think it was Fuschia on here who said look at what they eat over a week, not just at one meal. That has kept me sane.

Are you at the Why? Why? Why? stage yet ?!

[jennyh]

most of the time yes. But like you I try to pin some sort of logic on it and look for the way out! Todays 'fun' came from throwing everything, all the time. Testing the boundaries most definitely!

[sillywoman]

Very frustrating but as my granny used to say "It'll pass" - she was right!

[mima08]

Hiya- one way we keep overcoming irrational fears is by "kissing" - i.e. what ever LO is scared off, I show that it is safe by giving it a kiss and saying what a good xyz it is. We had kissing the pop-up book, kissing the hairdryer, (almost) kissing the microwave... although I have drawn the line at kissing the hoover & lawnmower... No idea how you can "kiss" the fly or bugs, though...