Breaking the news about a new baby bro/sis

[Emski]

All going well at the 12-week scan in a few weeks, we'll have some big news for our 3 year old... Although she generally likes and is interested in babies, it's going to be a massive adjustment for her and I want to do everything humanly possible to ensure she is excited about having a new baby sibling, and that there's minimal resentment/jealousy/upset caused.

I'd really appreciate any tips (or errors to avoid) that anyone can share on how to tell her the news and keep her as reassured as possible. A large part of our decision to have another child was for companionship for our daughter, so the last thing I want to happen is that they end up fighting continually!

Many many thanks x

[SBot]

Hi, congratulations!

I've been a nanny for many years and have been involved in the arrival of a second child, so firstly don't tell her yet, not even until around 6/7 months, time is a lot slower for little ones, a week flies for us but is longer for them.

There are lots of lovely books that tell a story about the arrival of a sibling, " there's a house inside my mummy" is great!

When you do get nearer the time, lots of positives about how she can be helpful etc.

Any odd baby toy still hanging around put it away now!

I guess she has dollies but maybe have more play with them, take dolly with her to the shops etc.

With the age gap you will have, she will have a lot of understanding so talk seriously to her about it.

Keep up with her activities when baby is here, then she won't feel like the baby has stopped her doing the things she enjoys.

Best of luck

Sarah

Best of luck,

[Norfolkvillas]

We're somewhere in the region of 6 weeks away from introducing our almost 3 year old to his new baby sister. I didn't really make much of a big deal of it in the early months, but people naturally started talking to him about it, and he took it in his stride.

I sorted out the baby room, and got all the baby stuff out of storage ages ago, so that my son could have a good go on getting in the bouncy chair / lying on the playmat etc etc, even having a go in the baby's cot to see what it felt like... as a result, the novelty factor of all that has well and truly worn off, so hopefully he'll be unfussed about wanting to try it all out once the baby's actually here.

We've been doing lots of role play with his teddies, and I've just recently bought him some dolly nappies and a dolly bottle so that whilst I'm feeding and changing the baby, he can feed and change his teddies. He really adores the bottle especially and is doing mixed feeding with his teddy at the moment - half bottle, and half breastfeeding him (he picked this up from the other mum in our nannyshare who he watched breastfeed her youngest. He has it to a tee, even down to the slightly bored 'god this is taking a long time' look whilst doing it!)

I'm also planning to take him out and allow him to choose a present to welcome his new sister, and will get him a present from her.

I've also been careful not to blame anything on the baby - eg why I can't pick him up (it's because he's too much of a big boy, not because I'm pregnant) and will try to keep doing this once she's arrived, so that he doesn't get to associate his baby sister with preventing him from doing something.

Hope this helps - think most of the above is stuff I've picked up from other wise forumites over the past months. I value my own relationship with my sister hugely, so am similarly keen to try and nurture a loving sibling bond from the start (although part of me wonders if any of this stuff will make a blind bit of difference in the long run...)

[pommie]

I think our 3 1/2 year old daughter knew from our 12 week scan as she came with us although she wasnt that interested in looking at the screen. Even when we went to the 3d scan towards the end of my pregnancy she kind of looked at the screen then was not bothered. Whenever my belly got bigger, she jus used to say the baby is getting bigger and she was actually the first to tell people that i was pregnant by blurting it out. She got more interested when the baby started kicking and she felt it. She used to even help rub cream into my stomach bless her. She was a bit OTT when the baby was first born but now our daughter is nearly six months and more interested she likes to help out with her but is not so much in her face as she was when she was first born