Reality check - three-year-olds skills

[Monkey]

Not wishing to sound like a pushy, worried mum but an awful lot of three-year-olds I meet seem to do things such as sounding out three-letter words or writing their names. My daughter does not know her letters yet. Am I surrounded by little geniuses or is it what three-year-olds are like these days?

[Pickle]

It's possible, but only if those skills have been worked on by a parent or at a nursery etc. My older kids went to a cr?che a few hours a week where they gently exposed them to phonics, so both were able to recognise and write their names prior to starting school nursery at 3.5.

From what I've seen, at reception age there is a huge variation in their reading/writing skills, and that's completely normal, so dont worry!

[Carbonara]

The vast majority of 3 year olds are simply enjoying looking at books, being read to, developing their fine motor skills in messy play and messy painting and play doh.

Children who have been hot housed ('oh, but she's ready, she really enjoys it') may have a bit of a head start in Reception, but children can only develop at the level of their maturity and it will all even out. Just as you can't tell the early talkers from the late talkers by the time they are all talking together at 3 or 4.

Let your child enjoy learning through play, and don't let yourself be stressed out by this.

[Fuschia]

My no 1 started reception unable to write his name, (admittedly he turned out to have a problem holding a pencil due to hyper mobile joints) and hadn't done any phonics (it was pre the integrated eyfs curriculum) though he did love to be read to, was very active at running and jumping (gross motor skulls precede fine motor skills)

By October half term of reception he was reading and now in y5 he is well ahead in everything - level 5 for reading already, for eg

Twins attended cr?che (same as pickle) and by the time they started school nursery the one with the shorter phonetic name could write it while the one with the longer gaelic name with many vowels did not.

Nursery year covered phonics intro ... Now they are in reception they are writing phonetically and reading short words. The one who started more slowly is now more advanced.

So ... In my experience, an early start Makes little difference.

Getting plenty of chance to wave their arms about and use their hands - puzzles, play dough etc plus being read to, eye spy games etc, are quite enough at 3 in my view

[Fuschia]

Though ladybird abc book, and the opposites book, are good

[Monkey]

Oh good. Thank you, ladies. Puzzles, play dough etc... is just what we do. Thanks again.

[fufton]

Hi Monkey

I really wouldn't worry at all, as others have said, they all develop at their own pace. O has just started to recognise letters and some days can write his anme and other days he seems to have totally forgotten how. this development has happened literally in the last week and as i said, its in fits and starts. C will get there in her own time, I'm sure you've checked in with the school to understand what teaching they are doing, I am starting to follow the phonics letters O is learning that week at home, but not formally - just randomly pointing stuff out around the house or playing eye-spy, that weay he doesn't feel pressured.

ps...we should really meet up before Christmas!

[Otta]

My 3.5 year old can type her name on a keyboard, but at the same time she's still not potty trained! They are all different, don't worry, if he seems happy then all is well with the world.

[Carbonara]

re this 'they are all different' - Monkey may not have even been even trying to teach letters and 'sounding out'. She may have just been encouraging her daughter in normal 3 year old play. Many 3 year olds are like this these days, or 'differnt' because different parents get busy with the flash cards etc.

If she shows an interest, encourage it, slowly and within reason. If not, I wouldn't push it.

[Mrs TP]

Really try to chill and ignore this peer pressure. Someone is sitting down and doing it with them either a parent / nursery teacher / older sibling / other relative / carer or the tv. At school you will see handful of well advanced children and the majority becoming comfortable with all of this towards the end of reception and into year 1. Take a step back think about how you want to parent your child and don't be suckered in. They get there when they are ready. Kids need love, food, stability, play. However also nothing wrong if your child is going to take it all in v. early and expresses an interest in what is seen as more formal learning.

[Otta]

Carbonara Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> re this 'they are all different' - Monkey may not

> have even been even trying to teach letters and

> 'sounding out'. She may have just been encouraging

> her daughter in normal 3 year old play. Many 3

> year olds are like this these days, or 'differnt'

> because different parents get busy with the flash

> cards etc.

>

> If she shows an interest, encourage it, slowly and

> within reason. If not, I wouldn't push it.

Absolutely agree, wasn't suggesting otherwise in my post. We've never actively sat and tried teaching letters to my daughter, there is plenty of time for that boring nonsense down the line.

[canela]

completely agree! also think we i.e. society in general and parents in particular - need to be careful about how we judge people and especially children. not for one moment saying that anyone posting here is guilty of this!!! just that it makes me think. my own child is pretty much bottom of the class in everything academic, but his teacher says he is really happy at school, he is making progress, enjoys learning, and is good at lots of other things that aren't reading or writing based. of course i want to make sure that he is skilled up to deal with the world, but i don't want to fall into looking at only that side of things. which i have to admit is sometimes a wee bit difficult as concerned grandparents etc always point out how advanced other grandchildren are for their age.... he is only 6 and as far as i'm concerned i want him to be able to develop his own particular strengths...

[susyp]

I was always top of the class and I hated school. Am far more keen to see my daughter happy there than top. (although it would be nice to have both!). I ocnsider school an ordeal to get through - although she seems to be enjoying it so far (2 months in!).

susyx

[Saffron]

I agree that we "need to be careful about how we judge people and especially children". And surely that needs to include both children who do and do not excel at a given subject. Not every child who excels at literacy has been "hot housed". Some children do naturally have an early aptitude for literacy, while others excel at other things. By that same token, it's not about lagging behind or catching up with other children. It's about each child making consistent progress across a range of subjects at a speed and depth to suit that individual child. Nurture your child in the activities in which he or she excels, and use those as a platform for helping him/her to progress in subjects that come less naturally. xx