susyp

yes to treehugger's feeling of wanting to hit people who boast about babies sleeping through the night! arg. another thing that helped me and which i should have done much more of (but i was so determined to do it "right" that I carried on persisting with naps in cot / pushchair) was putting her in a sling for much of the day - obviously helps with colic and she would sleep / be quite happy the entire time , never cried at all in it. i used to do all my shopping this this way - and eat my meals - and do the washing up ! If i were to do it again i would just keep her in that the entire time until she was weaned and not bother with a pushchair until over 6 months! It's lovely having a baby strapped up to you as well - all warm and smelling delicious - then you realise why being a parent is good (not so much when they are screaming in pain for hours in the night). susypx

My daughter was like this and I felt like you- parenthood was hell! Why did no one tell me! As soon as I tried her on a bottle of formula she vomited etc and had diarrhoea and it was a clear milk allergy- I would try her on formula if you haven't already- or just get her tested for a range of allergies-'it's less intense in breast milk but they still react- I gave up dairy but was no better only way was to get prescription neonate milk- worth getting an allergy screen done privately . Sounds from these answers its an allergy or tongue tie perhaps- worth exploring anyway. Susyp x

second the before bed having a little something to raise the blood sugar/mood -for you! Bedtime can be hard! Currently I am having a piece of comforting marmite on toast just before we go up but I have been known to have a glass of red!

I would say that this is normal behaviour but it's hard to see this when you re in the middle,of it. I,ve posted off and on in a similar vein. What tends to change it is me stopping and trying something new. Firstly I wouldn't worry about food- I found age 3-4 the worst for eating, and the more fuss I made the worse it got. But she is largely fine now at 6! Secondly if you implement something that helps you calm down that helps. So some sort of reward or sticker chart, timeouts- anything that is consistent. We did a short rule list after a similar period and that helped. I think sometimes they just need the boundaries very very clearly defined. I still struggle and I try and catch myself when I am nagging over unimportant stuff! Also setting challenges works for us- racing to get dressed etc. When you re in it you kind of forget they are so little and it's only when you stop and look from outside it that you realise you can take the control. Also, I ve always found super nanny really relevant and helpful- she has a website and some books. Sure you'll get lots of good advice but wanted to reassure you that to me at least this doesn't sound unusual. Other thing that helps with mine is introducing a new activity eg class to stimulate her - pre school bad behaviour was often due to boredom with mine. Susypx

You could just go and have fun- especially if you take a rubber ring as you can put one in that to make it easier for you to manage both. My daughter only started formal group lessons last September aged 5 and she can swim a little now. She's in a class with school mates who started lessons aged 2! I have seen some very young children swimming but on the whole te not unt they are around 4 that they can really learn Susypx

My daughter draws her own smileys faces and now makes up her own chart each Saturday. I was surprised how much she took to,it and the list of rules and I wonder I'd i,hadn't been enforcing boundaries enough as she was glad to have them oddly! Susyp Other thing I have done is put a timer app on my ipad and put it on when she's being difficult about getting dressed or tidying and she enjoys the challenge! You can set different chimes so,she does that and i set it and off she goes!

My daughter was like this a few weeks ago,and I posted a similar thread! A reward chart with smiles / sad faces and a magazine at end of the week if more smilies worked- along with a chart of house rules.. I feel for you as it's awful when you're in the middle,of it. It also stops me yelling as I can just go and put a sad face down ! Probably less of me yelling is the real reason she's got better! She was very very tired also and I enforced some early nights. Susypx

Another dry night ;-) (save lifting at 10pm). It's quite a move on from the last two times I have tried (trying yearly in the summer). I wasn't too worried when she was 4 and having read all the above I'm now not even that worried now she is 6 aside from the fact she gets a lot of infections which I am sure are linked to it (girls oestrogen levels drop after about age 3 until age 9 making them more susceptible to infections - I have read). And she wants to have sleepovers with her best friend over the street and while I think she is too young anyway, I'd like her to be fully dry at night before I agree. And thank you HannahG for your advice my daughter has taken it on board and we have a chart now that she fills in everytime she has a drink and it's showing a steady increase (great when they start doing maths and you can use it to get them to do things). I normally nag her to go to the toilet all the time so I am going to stop doing that to allow her bladder to stretch - as she does invariably leave it to the last minute without me nagging. It seems a likely cause as she doesn't drink very much at all so maybe only goes a handful of times in a day - and my husband has this problem so I am keen to make sure her bladder is big enough (I can never understand how he can go from being fine to suddenly desperately needing the toilet!! Causes innumerable problems on motorways!) Sbot it is quite different having a child who is wet at 4 to a child who is wet at 6 - my daughter is going into year 2 now. She has never had even a remotely dry nappy and it is getting hard now to tell which are accidents and which is deliberate weeing when awake! So that can't be a guide for me. Pickle I quite agree that she shouldnt' be deliberately weeing in her nappy but I've asked her not to for the last year with promises of rewards etc if she does a wee in the toilet when she wakes - but to no avail - so the only course of action was to remove the nappy!! It only happens at weekends when I ask her not to wake me before her mr sun comes up- otherwise I tend to be up at the same time as her and her nappy is whipped off before she gets a chance to wee! appreciate all the replies and pms it's made a big difference to our approach and we are getting somewhere now. It's possible we may end up back in nappies if she won't keep on being lifted (bit stroppy last night) but hoping I c an do it for a couple of weeks while she gets used to the whole concept and we work on stretching her bladder and then she may be in a position to go all night without lifting. We shall see! susypx

Thanks for all te replies. The only reason tbh I am Bothered about it is because she gets a lot of infections and it can't help. Also because she is far wetter at weekend mornings when she reads for a bit before waking us and I know that she is quite happy to wee away in it so thought I would see if she is ready to give it up. Having read all the replies yes I think we will hold off and not seek any medical help yet, seems too early and she is not bothered by it. We ve had 2 nights now of being dry- I lift her at 10. Not sure if its just fluke but figure worth continuing for a bit to see if it will be a pattern. Tiring as I check her all the time as hate though of her sleeping in wee. If se starts to complain about the lifting, and she wets without it, we ll go back to nappies for another year or until she suggests otherwise! Reassuring to hear others replies!

I post each summer about this when we try ditching night time nappies and so I understand the biological process that should happen before children are dry at night. My questions is, as they get older is it possible that it can become a habit to wee into a nappy and so the body becomes used to it? My daughter most definitely is happy to use it as a toilet but she also needs it for the middle of the night sleep weeing. My daughter is 6 and tonight is night 3 of giving up nappies. In the past when we have tried it (yearly since age 4) , she's had accidents 2 or 3 times a night and i ve given up quickly- 4 nights is my longest. Night 1 this time was fine, I lifted at 10 and she did a huge wee, I checked on her at 3am and she woke up, so I took her for a wee. Last night she had quite a late dinner and late night , I lifted her at 11 and then left her 2 it, she woke at 5 soAked , so,quick wash down and lifting off top sheet layer, I didn't think to suggest toilet as I thought it had just happened, but then at 7 she was even more soaked! Is it worth pushing on, with earlier dinner etc and will her body learn to wake her? Should I be seeking a referral if no joy, or wait another year again, until she is 7? Susyp

I get most of my intelligence about how school is going, friends , worries and admissions of bad behaviour etc umprompted at bedtime! Its the confessional in our house! Our entire routine probably takes 90 mins from going up for a bath to Me saying night but that time is quite important with us.

plenty of parents die when their children are babies through cancer, accidents and the like. Yes i feel sorry for her family but no not so much for her, I just don't feel anything for her - having seen people be felled by cancer and know they will leave their young kids i can't feel anything for someone who takes the decision to take heroin when they are in sole charge of a baby. self righteous maybe but that's my feeling. Having been through a cancer battle myself when my little one was 6 months old i can't even cross the road now even on my own without a green man - just value every moment i have with her and refuse to take any risks! There is nothing worse than putting your baby to bed and knowing there is a real risk that you won't see them grow up. And for someone to play russian roulette like that is unbelievable to me. But i do appreciate that mental health is a fragile thing and that she could have had something else going on

We have flush doors and we didn't have rain coming in - we have wood floors . We also have integrated blinds and I wouldn't be without them, especially as we are south facing so would be impossible in this heat! It's nice to shut them and know noone looking in on you - we have a lane behind our garden so this was pretty crucial to me.

I ve decided to do at night what I did when she was a baby- if she won't let me leave her without lots of hysterical crying then ill just stay until she settles! I was worried she would expect it but she is normally ok to reason with so will get over this hump and then tackle that! If its partly excitement over tiredness and insecurity I can see that she d want me to stay, even if she doesn't have the most appropriate persuasion technique!

She came out of school in tears on class changeover day when all the others were excited- happens every year so yes that could be contributing. Lots of good thoughts thanks!

Thank you for your post. Yes we've talked about it and both vowed not to shout- then after she has shouted at me for a while I might respond -then she reminds me of our deal. sigh. yes I think it will get better once she is out of school. She does normally tell me when something is worrying her , but not if I ask her outright, it normally just comes out at bedtime, after we've had a nice day together, so I am going to be open to that, although I think it is just tiredness. Although you have made me think as I also withdrew her from a nursery when she was 2 as she started behaving like this. We're going to do a lot next week to try and get her to sleep better which in turn will hopefully help with the tiredness - she is going to bed quite late by the time she'll let me leave her, and waking up very early, which is unusual that she does both. She came down this morning bright and lovely which adds to my feeling it's tiredness! Last night she was having those full body tantrums they have when they are 2 (or she did), when she was 2 I used to hold her tight until it was over but I can't do that now as she is bigger and it goes on longer! susypx

Just wondered if anyone had experienced a sudden behaviour change at age 6? I am putting this dine to tiredness at the end of term but my daughters also finding it hard to sleep so,it's hard to crack. She is yelling and screaming at me on a daily basis. She has also been hitting and punching me but that I have largely managed to stop. She's had tantrums when younger but these are not tantrums, just ongoing! She woke up at 12 last night and screamed at me when I went into settle- full body tantrum like a 2 year old. I yelled at bit- I try and stop,but it's hard not to after a while of her yelling at me- so first stage I know I have to stop responding in kind. I took her into my bed and held her and she slept but only lightly so when I moved her back it all started again. It's like she's changed personality- she wasn't I've this at all 2 weeks ago. 2 more days of term and then she has a day at my parents thank god who are very calm and then I have a week off and have planned day trips for us to do together which in the past has always helped when we get into a pattern like this. We ve never had something of this extremity though, I,have never seen any child behave how she is. I am clear that. I need to find a calm way of dealing with her as the first stage so any tips welcome, She doesn't do this with my husband and he is much more a yeller than me

agree with oimissus. my daughter loves the films and i can't see her growing up to be submissive! what they have done for her is introduce her to a world of films and drama which she is completely immersed in, and she's not restricted to just disney. She loves books equally and the two go hand in hand - her school report this year made a big play of how much she loves "stories". I used to feel the same way about Disney before i watched the films with my daughter as with oimissus, but seeing how they have given a whole new bent to her world has been lovely. I think she'll be one of those who always loves Disney in a nostalgic way, but it's not going to mean she's going to spend her life looking for her prince! Her favourite films are Tangled and Frozen as I think is no doubt the case with most children and they don't have insipid heroines. Saying that having spent the last 6 months chasing down an elsa dress which i am sure is being deliberately held back by disney to create inflated demand i have no problem with someone taking on the might of disney marketing (even though I succumbed to it)! susypx

My 6 year old is on her second course of amoxicillin for a vaginal infection. It's very clearly turning her new teeth very yellow. The first dose was for 7 days and the infection came back- she's now been on it for 10'days and still has discharge and her teeth are really yellow- but only the new ones I am panicking major ally about these yellow teeth. She is so beautiful and they look awful. And we still have some antibiotic left, I want to stop it but I noticed today she still has discharge. Any advice on either issue very gratefully received Susyp

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matilda - red ribbon and dress. done.

Also if she is mucusy that would be a sign of an allergy, if not maybe an intolerance- you can't test for intolerance you just work it out by trial and error.

If you get a referral letter from the gp and go privately you can be seen and tested within a week, I would cut out dairy completely until then. Susypx