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To our milk thief - I am still shielding and you are very uncool.


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Dear Milk Thief -

Please stop stealing my milk (and juice). I live near Melbourne Grove and my family is shielding with me which means we are reliant on delivery as we cannot go in shops.

I have you on camera (a few times) walking up to my door with your baseball-style jacket with dark cuffs and waistband, light coloured winter hat that sits like a triangle above your round face - with trimmed facial hair, a tidy scarf around your neck. You have a distinctive gait - perhaps a bit of arthritis or a bad knee. You have a kind face and a glint in your eye as you take the milk. You are not young.

Please stop - we need the milk as much as you might. There are local food banks that can help you if you cannot afford your own milk and orange juice. Thank-you.

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Couple of packs of crushed Ex-Lax in the milk should help sort this.

I was thinking the same except that still relies on the homeowner getting out there at crack of dawn, tampering with his own milk/juice and then leaving it there for the culprit and while it might be entertaining it still leaves the poor soul in the same situation of having no milk! You can get very good tripwire burglar alarms too but again, you can't install/activate them the previous evening because the milkman will set them off when delivering.

Otto2: is there any way the milkman can deliver your order to a neighbour's house or perhaps get some sort of lockable metal crate put there for the milkman to leave it in?

Might be worth checking with neighbours too because if the thief is doing this to one house, chances are it's being done to a few.

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Do report back and let us know what you did!

I'd be tempted to print out a photo of the milk snatcher and leave it in the usual spot, along with a nice friendly handwritten note saying that you'll introduce yourself next time you meet in the street, now you know what he looks like.

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I have plenty milk to spare as people seem to be leaving milk on their doorsteps giving it away for free. I recommend going around early in the morning as its when everyone gives milk away to the less fortunate. May I also say to the people doing this I am extremely grateful for your charity and I know that many others are also. I hope this helped Otto2!
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