Bed routing for co-sleeping

[a.smith]

We recently ended up co-sleeping(partially in the past) and I don't min it,we really like it,but only problem is bed time.Lunch time(everyday now) and in the past in the evening our daughter would fell asleep on her own with a bottle of milk in the cot.Now she would climb in our bed and we would need to stay with her until she is asleep. Any ideas about bedtime so we don't spent 30-60min in the bed with her?

[canela]

mmmm, I know this only too well. I can't really offer any magical solutions. When this happened to me I was in a situation where I had not much routine in my own life either so I could be quite flexible, and I could go to bed really late myself. I used the opportunity to have a little cat-nap myself, or at least some reading time or even a film in bed whilst little one fell asleep. no point in lying there feeling frustrated. i know this is slack parenting, but as i say i was in a situation where i could do this, i.e. I wasn't working and I was living overseas where everyone had siestas and the whole vibe was more chill.

to be honest, i still do a little of this with youngest even though i am back at work. i get back just in time for bedtime, just in time to need a 30 min rest with a cup of tea or a little mini shut-eye, before i get up with my energies recouped for number 2. what do they say about lemons and lemonade?

i do think that if you do the co-sleeping thing (which i also really enjoyed) it does make it harder to also try and have a routine. i failed and accepted that. but maybe others have done better than me???

[GinaG3]

I have also co-slept for almost the whole 4 years with our daughter. Out of choice for 2 years, now less so - its like they all rolled over and one fell out in our bed. She did have a patch of staying in her own room at 2-3 years after stopping breastfeeding but is back in our bed at 2am usually now. She has ALWAYS fell asleep out on the sofa and been carried in to bed, we tried everything with her to get her to fall asleep on her own but she isn't and never has been one of those children and it doesn't particularly bother me. I grew up the same way and never had a set routine until about 6 or 7 years old when 'lights out' came in to play. Don't be put off by this though, as I say everyones situation, routine and child is different.

You've said your daughter did fall asleep on her own before, thats a start, believe me! Maybe try putting her in your bed (if that is where you want her to be) but playing some quiet soothing music or a talk show on the radio for noise? Does she have a toy she can take to bed? Say you are 'just going to the toilet/get a drink' each time and take longer and longer away each time?

When she was younger I tormented myself trying to get her to fall asleep in bed to the point I would sit in bed with her for 5 hours at a time trying and trying to get her to sleep, I did this for months before I was just too stressed to handle it anymore. It wasn't working for either of us. I assigned myself to the fact I'm fighting a losing battle against a child with constant energy and extreme clingyness and I'm afraid to say I left it at that. She is a free spirit! I hope you find the right answer for you.

[lucyA1308]

I found for lively toddlers that it was more disruptive to have them fighting against sleep in their own bed, that we cuddle up on the sofa, and read some (maybe quite a few, - depending on actual levels of tierdness) stories, until I can see that yawn, and eye rubbing. I'll say one more story, and then bed time. They then know that they are ready for bed, they prepare themselves for one last story, and are actually nice and sleepy when they get into bed.

not the co-sleeping thing, but a nice cosy cuddle with mummy / daddy, and then when they get into bed, they are really ready for getting straight to sleep.

[a.smith]

Thank you very much for replaying .I think the best solution I found lately is to get to bed when my girl is tired,which happens later than I wish,but at least we spend 5-10 min( I turn to the other side and browse pinterest and then she is asleep.We still try to keep same time for bed ,but it's 30-60 min later .

[JulieP]

My youngest slept really well until he was 6 months old (on several occasions slept through). Then everything changed and he became a really bad sleeper. He ended up co-sleeping (and almost continuously bf all night),it was the only way we got any sleep!

I'm afraid until he was 2, he stayed up later than the other children. I kept him downstairs while I made dinner, did other chores and he got tired enough to put to bed. Many times I would pop him in the phil and teds in the kitchen while making dinner and he would fall asleep there (and I would take hime to bed when I went up). It meant a lot less precious time to myself but the only other way was screaming at the doorway of the room (on the few occasions I tried to get him to stay in the room).

It got to the point that my husband and I were not sleeping that well with a child stretching horizontally betweem us so when he turned 2 I put up a cot bed next to my side of the bed and used bed raisers (from disability shop) to bring it to the level of our bed (with a bed rail on the outer side). At that point he was able to understand a bit more and made a big deal of having his own new bed cover etc. I started to bf him in the room lying on the bed, removing him before sleep and lying with him until he fell asleep. When I stopped bf, he would have his milk and I would lie with him. We then progressed to having milk before bed and me lying with him, then me saying I would come back and check him when he was asleep and finally moving into his brother's old bed (in their room). The cot bed is still in our room (I took the raisers off to lower the bed about 1/2 way through this process). He comes in occasionally but at nearly 3 he spends all night in his own bed 5-6 nights of the week (and he is very proud of himself).

Long post but it is evidence that in time it gets better even with the worst sleepers!