Jump to content

Jokes

tedfudge

By tedfudge
in The Lounge

 Share

Recommended Posts

malumbu

malumbu

Posted
Posted

Talking rabbit goes into a bar and orders a drink and asks about food. We have cheese toaties, ham toasties, and ham and cheese toasties. Lovely replies the rabbit. I'll have a cheese toatie.


Next day the rabbit goes in and orders a ham toastie.


And the day after a ham and cheese toastie.


A few weeks later, the rabbit has not returned. Anyone know what happened to that talking rabbit asks the barman/lady? A local replies that sadly the rabbit has died.


Oh that's a shame says the barman, of what?


"Mixin m' toasties"


Worth a long build up and practicing the punchline

Alan Medic

Alan Medic

Posted
Posted

Five surgeons are discussing what type of person makes the best patient to operate on.

The first surgeon, from Belfast City Hospital, says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second, from Antrim Area Hospital, responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is co lour coded."

The third surgeon, from Royal Belfast Hospital , says, "No, I really think librarians are the best! Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon, from Musgrave Park Hospital "You know, I like construction workers...Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.'

But the fifth surgeon, from Ulster Hospital, Dundonald , shut them all up when he observed: 'You're all wrong. Tory Politicians are the easiest to operate on.

There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine... Plus, the head and the arse are interchangeable.’

Spartacus

Spartacus

Posted
Posted

A Farmer went out in the snow one morning, to tend to his cows and found them all frozen.

A woman was passing by

she breathed on them and each one defrosted.

The farmer said to her, “Are you an Angel sent from heaven?”


“No”, said the woman,

“I’m Thora Hird!”

teddyboy23

teddyboy23

Posted
Posted (edited)
A. Bear and a rabbit side by side in the forest, doing a number 2 . bear turns to the rabbit and saids when your done does the number 2 stick to your fur.rabbit saids no.so the bear picked the rabbit up and wiped his arse with him . Edited by teddyboy23

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing
  • Advertise Here

  • Latest Discussions

    • malumbu
      Oh David / Is David Lammy Toast?

      By malumbu · Posted

      I'd quit this thread, let those who just want to slag Labour off have their own thread.  Your views on the economy are worth debating.  I'm just stunned how there wasn't this level of noise with the last government.  I could try to get some dirt on Badenoch but she is pointless  Whilst I am not a fan of the Daily Mirror at least there is some respite from Labour bashing. https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/grenfell-hillsborough-families-make-powerful-36175862 https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/nigel-farage-facing-parliamentary-investigation-36188612  
    • Sephiroth
      Oh David / Is David Lammy Toast?

      By Sephiroth · Posted

      That is a bit cake and eat it tho, isn’t it?    At what point do we stop respecting other people’s opinions and beliefs  because history shows us we sometimes simply have no other choice  you are holding some comfort blanket that allows you to believe we are all equal and all valid and we can simply voice different options - without that ever  impacting on the real world  Were the racists we fought in previous generations different? Were their beliefs patronised by the elites of the time? Or do we learn lessons and avoid mistakes of the past?   racists/bigots having “just as much to say” is both true and yet, a thing we have learnt from the past. The lesson was not “ooh let’s hear them out. They sound interesting and valid and as worthy of an audience as people who hold the opposite opinion” 
    • HeadNun
      Oh David / Is David Lammy Toast?

      By HeadNun · Posted

      I don't have a beef with you. But I do have a beef with people who feel that a certain portion of the public's opinion isn't valid.  I don't like racism any more than anyone else here. But I do dislike the idea that an individual's thoughts, beliefs and feelings, no matter how much I may disagree with them, are somehow worth less than my own.  And I get the sense that that is what many disenfranchised voters are feeling - that they are being looked down upon as ignorant, racists who have no right to be in the conversation. And that's what brings out people on the margins and drives them towards extremes, like Reform.  Whether you like it or not, the racist, bigot, anti-european nextdoor to you has just as much say in the country as you do. Intellectual superiority is never going to bring them round. 
    • Sephiroth
      Oh David / Is David Lammy Toast?

      By Sephiroth · Posted

      What is your beef with me ? Why are you asking rhetorical questions?  fighting me but excusing reform? have a look in the mirror  you’ve lost your way 

East Dulwich Forum

Established in 2006, we are an online community discussion forum for people who live, work in and visit SE22.

Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...