Gardener (Ivy removal)

[Flux capacitor]

I find myself entangled in an unfortunate situation where the ubiquitous Ivy has taken it upon itself to scale the walls of my humble abode, becoming an unruly nuisance in the process. Alas, I stand before you, my virtual audience, with a plea: before my cherished domicile succumbs to an unceremonious collapse, I beseech your assistance in its timely removal. It is with a heavy heart that I admit my valiant attempts to vanquish this green invader have proven futile. The task at hand, you see, lies far beyond my exiguous expertise, for the Ivy has extended its reach to such lofty heights that my limited abilities pale in comparison. Thus, I humbly request the aid of a knowledgeable individual, well-versed in the art of Ivy removal, to extricate me from this leafy labyrinth. Your prompt and skilful intervention would be met with immeasurable gratitude and payment. Local to SE15, SE22 and the surrounding areas would be most agreeable.

Edited June 22, 2023 by Flux capacitor
I needed to add locality.

[Moovart]

You should cut through the big stems at the base now so that the ivy dies. It will then be much easier to peel it off the brickwork in a few weeks when it has dried out.  

[Gardenman]

Agree. The only way to get rid of Ivy , cut at the lowest point. Grub out the roots & be patient for the branches to die & fall away & save your humble abode 

Good luck 

 

NIgel 

[Sue]

https://www.rhs.org.uk/prevention-protection/ivy-on-buildings