Problem with neighbour- Southwark Council doesn't help. What to do?

[Peckhamflowers]

Myself and my family has the last couple of years had some problems with the downstairs neighbour. He seems to have some serious mental health issues and believes we are targeting him by stamping the floor, slamming doors, moving boxes in the middle of the night etc. etc. The list is endless what he is complaining to the council about. The majority of his claims are simply just made up or caused by really thin walls and floors between our flat and the downstairs flat he lives in. (We are a really quiet family but have kids). We feel harassed and threatened by him but the Resident Services Officer is not helpful at all. The fact that he once threatened physical violence towards us (which was reported to the police) hasn't made any difference. 

Any suggestions what we can do to solve the situation? Any ideas who we should talk to at the Council to get somewhere?  I should maybe add that we own our flat (Southwark Council is the freeholder) and he is a council tenant. 

 

 

[Angelina]

Why assume he has serious mental heath issues? It may be intolerable for him. There are often complaints about vertical neighbours, especially those with kids or pets.

If there is no insulation between ceiling and floor, sound carries. Kids or pets run around a lot and the sound of feet carries.

You don’t say what type of flooring you have, having thick carpets etc can help

[Peckhamflowers]

I make the assumption that he has mental health problems because of the irrational way he behaves towards us, the unsubstantiated claims he has made towards us, and the threats of physical violence he has made towards us. I don't want to list on EDF what he has done to us more than I need, in order to explain the situation we find myself in. It's not important- what's important is how the situation can be solved. 

I have of course asked the council if and how they can help to make noise travel less in the property etc., but they are not able to help unfortunately. 

 

 

[Angelina]

If you want to reduce the sound from your flat, you can add acoustic or sound absorbing material under your carpet.

There are many options for different budgets (google sound reduction in upstairs flat)

In terms of improving your relationship with your downstairs neighbour, a really good first action would be to stop labelling him as mentally ill and start to consider that he may be very stressed and grumpy after prolonged noisy upstairs neighbours who don't take any notice of his complaints.

There's always two sides to one story, but this is completely solvable

 

 

[Peckhamflowers]

I appreciate you wanting to help Angelina, but at the moment, unfortunately, the nature of the help we need is slightly different. But you are so right. There is always two sides to one story, and at the moment me and my family's side is not really getting heard. 

And for your information- mental health problems are very common among the general public and in my view nothing to be ashamed of, looked down on, or to be used to label someone. Having a mental health problem is simply the same thing as having a physical problem with your knee or chest. But it could explain certain behaviors and ways of experiencing your surroundings, which is why I needed to mention it in my post. 

As I said, thank you for getting involved Angelina.

Anyone else who have experienced something similar as me?  Any constructive suggestions? 

[Jules-and-Boo]

There is help suggested for how to make things better with your neighbour and how to stop the noise.

What are the problems you want help with? 

We had a similar issue and installed soundproofing on our wooden floors and then carpets. I can dig out the actual product details but was a few years ago and we’ve moved since

 

[malumbu]

Speak to the police Safer Neighbourhood Team.  They will get involved in quite a lot of 'domestic disputes' and may be able to get other agencies involved too.

[Peckhamflowers]

Thanks for your response. We have done some soundproofing but getting those details would be great, cheers! I would also be grateful for help and ideas when it comes to navigating the council system, who to contact within the council and/or outside etc. The council needs to understand what is going on and also be interested in listening to our side of the story.  

[Mystic Mog]

Have you got laminate flooring?

[Sue]

I have PMed you.

[CPR Dave]

Might be worth discussing with the Citizens Advice Bureau 

[Peckhamflowers]

Cheers CPR Dave- will do! Thanks for suggesting! 

[tiddles]

What about contacting a local councillor or mp? 

[Dulwichlass]

I also agree that it’s unfair to indicate that this man has serious mental problems, as I don’t think you are qualified to diagnose this. I think it’s more likely stress from having to live close to a family in a small space. I believe you say you are a quiet family but small children make a lot of noise, so you could pay for more sound proofing as a gesture of goodwill for disrupting his life. Could also try mediation. 

[Peckhamflowers]

Sorry Dulwichlass, but it doesn't really take us anywhere discussing whether he has a mental illness or not. (And to be honest, as far as you're know, I might be extremely well qualified to see signs of it...... ) 

But I need to focus on the real issue here- that we have some serious problems, which needs to be sorted out. Otherwise, my mental illness will badly deteriorate. Thank you for your input.  

[bodsier]

Try mediation. If you can afford to do so yourself, then do so.   It will make life much more pleasant for all of you.  

[Pugwash]

Southwark has an Anti Social Behaviour Officer who will take up issues re any Southwark tenant. The fact you spoke about a resident services officer indicates that Southwark has an interest. I have sat on committees with police and ASB officer have worked together to try and solve issues with neighbours. I will look at my records to see if I can find the name of the officer - it was a woman.

[Peckhamflowers]

Dear Pugwash, that would be very much appreciated. We have been in contact with a Resident Services Officer but they haven't been very good unfortunately. 

[Sue]

23 hours ago, bodsier said:

Try mediation. If you can afford to do so yourself, then do so.   It will make life much more pleasant for all of you.  

Unfortunately the neighbour has to agree, which in this case sounds unlikely.

[bodsier]

How would you know it's unlikely that's the job of the mediator. 

[Alec1]

mediation is often offered as a next step to sorting problems between neighbours.  Perhaps ask the council for that.  You shouldn't need to pay.  

[Sue]

3 hours ago, bodsier said:

How would you know it's unlikely that's the job of the mediator. 

No. Both sides of the dispute have to agree to mediation in the first place.

I have been in a situation where the other people concerned refused to have mediation.

And it wouldn't have been free.

Edited June 9, 2024 by Sue

[alice]

If it ever comes to the civil court (and I hope it doesn’t) they do offer a free mediation service pretrial however as has been said both parties need to agree and they both need to agree to compromise

[Pugwash]

Peckham Flowers. I have sent you an email (PM) with ASB officer's email details.

[Earl Aelfheah]

The OP is asking for advice in dealing with a difficult neighbour (and what sounds like an extremely stressful situation) and it feels like they're being slightly attacked. It's quite possible that the individual does have serious mental health problems - the OP is in a better position to judge this than those responding to the thread - as they say, they're not saying this to stigmatise anyone, just providing relevant context.