My children are victims of child abuse, please sign this petition to help stop this... https://chng.it/QcKbchMDTK

[alex2014]

My children are victims of child abuse in the form of parental alienation which effect up 15% of divorces in the UK and often causes life long damage to children. Please support me in signing this petition and making this a crime as it is in other countries.

My SAD STORY:

I am a father of two boys and a girl (Boy 19yo, Boy13yo, Girl12yo) and a stepdaughter (10yo). I am a good loving dad and for their entire lives and up until 2-3 years ago, I had very close and loving relationship with all my 3 children and a manageable co-parenting arrangement with my ex-wife (50/50 custody).

But sadly I currently have no contact with my 2 sons due to severe parental alienation perpetrated by my ex-wife. *Severe parental alienation is when the children are abused to such an extent, he or she will do anything to side with one parent. All the boxes are ticked on this for Walter - he is reliving past good experiences and making them bad, he is borrowing other people's negative stories about us, he believe nothing his mother does is bad and nothing I do is good, he lies about me repeatedly in an attempt to hurt me to appease his mother, and he has no guilt about hurting me and rejects all associated with me.

WHEN DID THE ABUSE START?

When things became serious in my new relationship in 2021 (I recently remarried) this is when things really changed. My ex-wife began a sustained campaign to ruin my relationship with my children and paint us as monsters. This story has been told to the children, to schools, to other parents (you), anyone who will listen. This I now understand to be a well documented form of child abuse which I think is succinctly explained as "when one parent hates the other parent more than they love their own children." The children become cannon fodder in trying to damage the other parent. This is all too common occurring in as many as 15% of UK divorces. 

WHAT HAPPENED TO US?

We have over 100 documented Parental Alienation / Child abuse things done to my children by my ex-wife but here as just some examples :

1.        Having contact with my children removed from me unilaterally in 2022 by my ex-wife because she claimed I was a danger to them. At this point my son was crying on the phone as he wanted to come to see me but "mummy won't let me"

2.        There have been 4 separate social services investigations raised involving the children in  18 months, all of which have been closed the only finding being that my son needs counselling which their mother has refused to encourage and wants this to stay as they are now, with my son having no contact with me. 

3.        My son being repeatedly told that my wife abuses him (ties him up, locks him in his room, denies food & water etc)

4.        My ex-wife has told many lies about me & my wife to the children around our marriage, divorce settlement and romantical relationships (both my wife and I have lots of boyfriends/girlfriends, I took all my ex-wife's money etc etc)

1.            Daddy isn't your real family. He has a new family now

6.        I have also have copies of text messages from my ex-wife to my son, saying to him "[your father] will lie I guarantee it" "Delete all your messages" “[daddy] will kick you out eventually darling, it will happen” don’t go to daddy's tonight "Tonight you come here but don’t tell anyone. Just make it your decision and I will be 'surprised'."

So many other things have been done with the main aim to manipulate the children’s perception of me and get the children to reject me. This is horrible, and the victims in all of this are the children. Parental alienation has devastating impacts on children, causing severe and often life lasting emotional and psychological harm. Alienated children often experience confusion, guilt, and feelings of abandonment, which can lead to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. The manipulation distorts their perception of the alienated parent, damaging or destroying a once-loving relationship. This disruption can hinder their ability to form healthy relationships in the future and negatively affect their social, academic, and emotional development. The long-term effects can persist into adulthood, impacting their mental health and overall well-being.

MY DAUGHTER HAS RECOGNISED THE LIES

My daughter, who is only 12, and still live with me 50% of the time can see through it all and when she was upset with me over something she said "daddy if you don't let me [do this] I will believe all the lies I hear about you!" … Out of the mouth of babes!!

THIS CHILD ABUSE NEEDS TO STOP:

As this isn't currently a crime in the UK, there are only two things that could be done to stop this child abuse 1) my ex wife could stop the abuse. 2) Children services want my son to do counselling with me where we could talk through the issues but she has refused because it would no doubt uncover the abuse.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

The UK recognises this as incredibly damaging to children but it is not currently a crime. We want to change all this and make it a crime to abuse children in this way in the UK. Other countries have recognised this kind of child abuse as a crime but the UK is lagging other nations. Hence, I ask you to please join this petition which I will continue to push until this horrible damaging behaviour to children is recognised as the crime it is.

Thank you

https://chng.it/QcKbchMDTK

Edited July 1, 2024 by alex2014

[KidKruger]

It’s unfortunate reading, however there are two sides to every story and I only have one side - big question is what about the other side of the story is. It’s difficult to convince people of a situation when there’s only one side and anyone reasonable will ask.

Remember that this moment is just a snapshot in your relationship with your kids and times will be different in the future. This is important for your survival.

If you always try to be reasonable with your kids and ex, the kids will see this and they will understand over time who is out of order.

The UK family courts are heavily skewed towards the female, it’s part of our societal sexism. This makes it easier for a female ex to poison the children without challenge. This is more prevalent outside London where there is a more “provincial“ attitude in the family courts.

Bringing this kind of abuse to the attention of the authorities in respect of poisoning, badmouthing, manipulation and gaslighting is unlikely to generate much action. The services are strained to the limits as you would expect, therefore only the most serious abuses receive full attention. In an ideal world poisoning would result in threat of/removal of the children.

So you have to work in the landscape you find yourself within, limited interest from the courts where there is a female instigator, limited opportunity to reassure/protect your children, limited empathy in a public setting because traditionally the male is seen as the problem maker.

Have you made contact with Families Need Fathers, they have a good support network.

Some Fathers who go through this become permanent woman haters, on account of the damage done to their children. They never recover and carry the wound to a bitter grave.

And one final thing, which I neither envisaged nor desired, my kids now have a problem with their mother, who didn’t stop her partner from bullying and Insulting. So, there are no winners in this game.

Here’s an artwork I made of the abuse my teenage daughters received from their stepfather, evidenced to me through video and audio recordings. Child protection ultimately too busy. There is a lot of it happening out there. Good luck!

 

[alex2014]

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond, many wise words said and very helpful advice. I particularly like the idea of viewing this situation as a moment in time and that this will pass and if as you say I give out only love and reasonableness then hopefully things wll change at some point.

My really worry is what damage this does to the children living with this and not being able to have 2 loving parents in their lives. You can never have to much love and children need a big as possible support network to navigate this world.

Ps I love your artwork, really inspiring