Explaining to a 4 year old about an operation

[NannyAdelle]

How much information would you feel is right to explain to a 4 year old about a tonsils and adenoids operation. I don't want to tell him too much so he's scared or worried. But I need to prepare him as he will have questions.

If your child has had this procedure what did you tell them?

Adelle x

[Pickle]

I had my adenoids removed when I was 4 (and tonsils at 25!). Back then I had to stay in hospital for the night without my parents, and I remember it vividly.

Is your little boy aware of the effect they are having on him? If he's often ill from tonsillitis he should understand that getting them taken out will make him much better.

I would be quite matter of fact, explain that he will be put to sleep (just gas these days I think - whereas I had a fear of butterflies for years after having a doctor tell me the butterfly was going to land on me... It was hiding the needle, I then thought butterflies could sting!). Reassure him that he won't remember anything about the operation, and buy him something nice to help take his mind off it while he's recovering.

You might find that if you start the conversation he then has questions for you.

Good luck. My son had an operation when he was 2 and it was far more traumatic for me than him!

[Grotty]

I'm an anaesthetist so regularly see children just before they have an operation. How much I discuss with the children varies massively and depends entirely on how much the kids already know and what kind of mood they are in. The first thing I do when I arrive at the bedside is say hello to the children and ask why they are there. Some kids know a lot and some know nothing. You can read quite quickly whether the kid is nervous/excited etc. Some 2 year olds are well informed, excited, inquisitive whereas some 10 year olds look panicked, know nothing and parents are standing behind mouthing "don't say anything". I think an element of preparation is definitely important, but in order to get through the experience smoothly and not be put off doctors/health professionals its important to keep the child calm/happy.

Maybe start out one day by saying matter of factly "did you know that you're going to have an operation soon" and just see what the reaction is. Don't push information unless asked for and just bring it up every now and then so by the time it happens its not a surprise. Keep explanations simple and try and it make it sound exciting!

[NannyAdelle]

Thanks pickle. That's exactly what I was worried about doing. Give him a "child friendly" version that then gives him a fear eg butterflies. You are right He does know how his tonsils are always making him feel ill. So I will start with that and see what questions he has and go from there.

Thanks for the tips. It's I'm very nervous. I know it's a common procedure but you would rather go through it instead of them wouldn't you x

[NannyAdelle]

Thanks Grotty. The operation is next weds. So we don't have too much time to play with. I was planning to wait until after the weekend to mention it but going by your advice perhaps I will start the conversation this evening.

And this is why the ED forum is brilliant. Helpful advice when needed

[Otta]

I had an eye op aged 3 or 4, and I can still remember being wheeled in to theatre and the guy saying he had a present for me. It was this cool looking mask that reminded me of Darth Vader.

I woke up later with an eye patch and no f!*king mask. Bastards!

[kristymac1]

There's an excellent age appropriate book called 'goodbye tonsils', i used this with my daughter aged 5 and it was great - have tried to find it to lend you but cant find it at all:-\, you should be able to get it from amazon on express delivery. Good luck!