Another boring sleep problem

[Cheryl_M]

I apologise for starting a new thread on this as I'm sure there have been plenty in the past but by this time of the day I don't have much patience or energy for anything!

My 2.5 year old daughter who is an angel (most of the time) is playing games at bedtime. When we first turned her cot into a bed, she loved it. However the novelty soon wore off and now, 2 months later, I'm spending my evenings constantly putting her back to bed until after roughly, 15-20 times of doing it, I close the door, wait 30 mins until she's asleep, then open it. She doesn't really care whether I close the door, because she eventually falls asleep anyway, but I'm super-sensitive and its upsetting me. Adding to that I'm losing my temper with her, which I know is a horrible thing to do anytime, never mind at bedtime.

So any advice please? Should I just close the door anyway as soon as I put her to bed? Can't bear the thought of that but wondered of people's opinion, or do I have to carry on for another goodness knows how many months and hope that she will get bored? Three Day Nanny programme said any bad habits can be broken in 3 days. Nonsense!

[Lindsey<3]

I want to know the exact same thing love.....

[minder]

When you say you close the door after your daughter getting up 15-20 times, do you mean you've left the door on the jar or fully open when you leave her? If you've left it fully open then it's inviting her to come out and interact with you.

I think you should close the door (on the jar) as soon as she goes to bed if she's ok with it.

[Saffron]

If you're losing your temper, I wonder what your LO feels? I imagine she's frustrated too.

When my daughter can't settle in her own bed, I let her settle on a mat by my bed. After she falls asleep sometimes I put her in her own bed, sometimes I leave her if I'm too tired to move her.

You can't necessarily "break" sleep issues like a "bad habit", because sleep issues are often linked naturally to development and developmental leaps.

If you can't bear the thought of shutting the door and leaving your LO, then don't! There are loads of alternatives. xx

[Cheryl_M]

Thanks for your messages!

Minder -- I leave the door slightly ajar and she has that menacing look on her face then I know she's thinking "ah we're gonna play that game again!"

Saffron -- I know she will definitely feel my frustration and that's why its upsetting me because I need to calm down. We're up at 530/6am so its a long day and my tiredness takes over everything by the time bedtime comes along.

I suppose I'll just have to ride it out and hopefully I can write back soon with things have changed for the better!

[canela]

why not leave her in bed with the door ajar and a story tape?

try not to see it as a discipline issue - she might not be "playing games" but genuinely finding it difficult to switch herself off from daytime activity.

if you are tired by then, are you sure you aren't putting her to bed too early so you can relax? i know i used to do this and it always backfired. if you are knackered, could you not let her watch a bit of something sleepy, ie storytime, in her pjs on the sofa before you put her to bed when she is properly sleepy. bedtimes are not meant to be a time of frustration...makes it even more difficult!

it will get better.

[bobby's bear]

What about trying a reward chart though at 2.5 she might be a bit little to get the concept, but something bright and simple she can put a sticker on on the morning if she has stayed in bed all night with a small reward say at the end of a week.

[Convex]

We are thinking of a sticker chart, has anyone used thus successfully?

[Pickle]

I've always shut the door completely! My 2.5 year old is still in a cot and can't get out, but older kids have been used to having the door shut from day 1 and I have never had trouble with them getting out of bed (unless for necessary things).

[mbennett]

I don't understand what is wrong with shutting the door to the bedroom? We have always shut the door with our 2.8yr old.

[Belle]

We shut the door (other than if my older son is going through a phase of liking it open), but my 2 yr old can easily open it...he's just not ready for a bed, we moved my oldest much later and he never got out of bed. Tried with my 2 yr old when he was just 2 - he was out straight away. So he's back in the cot for now! is that an option for you?

[SBot]

We has similar.....a friend have me this advice.......we filled a tiny jar with 5 sweets, let the child put them in. Then explain that each time he/she gets out of bed, one gets taken out! Whatever is left in the morning they have! Worked for us!! She just got used to not getting out. So they can see their reward and they are in control.

[Cheryl_M]

Thanks for all your messages everyone! So now I'm closing the door but we're both ok with it so there is no stress or unhappiness from either side. We lie in her bed and read a couple of stories, have a cuddle and talk about our day for a few minutes then I leave the room. I think I was beating myself up for being a bad Mum closing the door but actually its never bothered her and at least that way she understands that its bedtime. Phew!