Putting a baby to nap with a toddler around

[Convex]

Hello,

Any ideas on how to do this?

My son (2.5) won't leave me alone to do this. If I leave the room he will follow me within 5mins max even if given the option to come first and then left watching mister maker.

The really crappy thing about it us that my baby shows signs if being a good sleeper but no one can fall asleep with a toddler saying HELLO! YOU AWAKE?

So, upstairs in his cot.... How?

In the living room... Some kind of canopy so I can keep my toddler distracted while shush patting?

Any advice welcome.

[sylviamaria]

Hi. I had the same issue with my daughter. She is 3. I started by leaving her to watch tv. Initially she would call out every minute to ask where I was. After a while she was more than happy to be left watching tv, to the point where she now suggests it. I am now working on reducing tv dependence! Baby is turning out to be a good sleeper for her naps (touch wood!). X

[etta166]

My second and third babies became very adept at ignoring the interruptions like that pretty quickly. I only ever left the toddler for a reasonable length of time, with an engrossing activity, and then left my baby in the cot after 5 to 10 mins of shushing (regardless of whether they were asleep or not) so that I could go back to my toddler. Repeat as necessary. I think the older one actually needs the attention more.

The other alternative was to let my toddler sit on the floor with me while I did a bit of shushing with the baby. Or to carry my baby everywhere so she slept in the sling. Or we'd be out and about anyway, so the baby would sleep in the buggy. For an idyllic month or two I put the toddler down for a nap first, and then the baby...

Don't sweat it too much. No matter how much effort you put in there will still be sleeping ups and down. Go with the flow and choose a route that suits all of you.

[Pickle]

When I had my second, number 1 was 16 months old. He needed much more attention, baby would get fed/changed/winded downstairs and then taken up to her room for a daytime nap and put down, no shush patting, just popped her in her cot and she was fine. Does your baby need the extended settling?

[EmilyPie]

I don't have any advice I'm afraid but just wanted to say that I feel your pain! No. 2 needed LOTS of settling which was never really possible as no 1 would stand at the bottom of the stairs and scream for me at the top of his lungs if I tried to leave him with telly/toys etc and would chat/poke/jump about of he came with me. I did naps in sling/buggy. Bloody hard work! Good luck.

[Convex]

Thanks everyone

Pickle, I haven't properly tried it on my own. He is quite happy when he wakes to just hang out until I notice he is awake so I'm hoping he will go down ok.

I never cracked naps with my first!

[Strawbs]

I don't have any advice as am having the same problem here. As soon as I try to get baby in the cot the toddler runs amok and comes in and yells at the top of his lungs! Baby won't settle at all on his own as we are battling (as you know) silent reflux and allergies which has meant 10 weeks of non stop screaming. I live in hope that one day it will just all come together and I don't have a breakdown before then! Ha. If you crack it pls let me have the tips! X

[Fuschia]

Strawbs, have you ever tried a battery swing? Saved my life when I was trying to settle twins

Slightly upright position good for reflux etc

[Strawbs]

Hey F. We have the swing and it seems to make the reflux worse with the swinging motion. I resort a lot to having him in the ergo so I have my sanity but also hands free for the 2 year old, he has become very used to it now though and I can't carry him forever but am trying slowly to get him to go in the pram now he is a bit bigger and can manage the seat rather than a carrycot which was too flat for him. He had a Moses basket he wouldn't touch, now in a bedside cot but he is very long so I am upgrading him to a cot this weekend (still in my room) but I do fear all that space may make it worse! Wish me luck x

[Convex]

Maybe I should try your swing Strawbs if you are still selling.

Fuschia, was it difficult to transition them to settling without the swing?

I think I'm going to try a sleep consultant. Things could be worse I know but I'm aware they could also be much better.

[Strawbs]

I am hon. Let me know if you want it. I do have a sleep training DVD I could lend you, we are doing it with baby Strawbs super loosely but I find it impossible to do effectively with toddler Strawbs around. X

[Pickle]

Are risk of being shot down, the *whispers* Gina Ford books have some useful pointers on getting into a good sleep pattern while dealing with a toddler too.

If you ignore the other stuff, her actual routines are useful, even just as a guide.

I loosely followed the advice in her books for all 3 children, and have 3 excellent sleepers. From what I gather, it's basically the same as what you get if you pay a sleep consultant in terms of the loose structure, so might be worth a look before forking out ???.

P x

[Convex]

Thanks pickle,

I tried gina ford with the first, and found the routines useful as a guide. Also other bits

That I liked.

But gave up on naps in cot at 6 months old, I couldn't bear the utter failure anymore.

Since then he naps in his pram.

Maybe I will have a look at a library copy and see if I might get on with it 2nd time around!

[hellosailor]

Hi Convex,

What happens if you pop him in his cot and leaves the room to be with your toddler and keep him away from the baby, would he fall asleep without you in there?

Strawbs is he on omeprazole now?

[Strawbs]

Hey Hs. Yes on Neocate, omeprazole , domperidone and gaviscon, it's like toddler Strawbs all over again except baby Strawbs screams a hell of a lot more! X

[Fuschia]

Convex Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Maybe I should try your swing Strawbs if you are

> still selling.

>

> Fuschia, was it difficult to transition them to

> settling without the swing?

>

The twins were fantastic nappers, Irrc they had a regular 90 mins at lunchtime from about 7/8m, at first in car or buggy then in bed but I always lay down with them (bf)

They were still up for a nap even when e came along - on occasion I had all 3 asleep at once!

But I never did putting in a cot to sleep for any of mine. Never had a cot at all after no 1

[alieh]

I aimed for one nap in the cot per day, the rest in sling or buggy. The morning nap started to develop around 4 months, and it was much easier to get her down then in the cot for at least one good one. To be honest I mostly fed to almost sleep...until very drowsy, then a bit of patting in cot. Need to be quick with two other children around! I worked on gradually having her be more awake going down, especially at bedtime when my husband is around to help. She is mostly a very good sleeper and I have broken all of the rules so just do what you can to survive!

[hellosailor]

Strawbs Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Hey Hs. Yes on Neocate, omeprazole , domperidone

> and gaviscon, it's like toddler Strawbs all over

> again except baby Strawbs screams a hell of a lot

> more! X

grim. ugh, it will get better as you know, hang in there!! Baby HS is 1 in July and I think growing out of his reflux tho still on omeprazole. I know you have the allergies to deal with as well?you're doing brilliantly xx

[bluesuperted]

I also did feed or sling to sleep for number two with toddler around full-time. It worked perfectly for us, the time of 4 then 3 then 2 naps a day passed in such a speedy blur that I never stressed about it as I knew it would change so quickly. Now number 2 has a quick bf or falls asleep in the sling after older brother's nursery drop off at lunchtime and I transfer her into bed where she sleeps for 2+ hours every day so being parented to sleep hasn't caused us any trouble - I don't use childcare but if I did I'm sure she'd sling/buggy or car seat to sleep in the same way.

[Knomester]

We haven't yet really tried to put baby 2 (now 9.5 weeks) down for naps yet. Way too stressful with a noisy, exuberant 3.5 year old bounding around the house! I tend to pop baby in the sling or push him out for a morning nap, push him out in the pram at lunchtime (he seems to be one if those babies who wakes up after 20 mins if stationary..!) and then sling again in the afternoon. It's fair to say I'm doing lots of walking... When I have my eldest with me too I try to plan outings around a trip to the cafe for a pain au chocolate, a walk to the park or even a quick scoot around the block.

Thank goodness it's the summer..!

At some point I'd love him to nap at home sometimes so I could get on with some chores (or even get a nap in myself!) but haven't the same energy (or willpower) as I had with my first... When I have I'll take on board some of these tips!

[Strawbs]

In the vein of sling sleeping I have found a great play group for toddlers on a Monday and Friday called muddy boots, we go on a Monday only but as you are walking through nature and searching for snails and worms I find baby Strawbs sleeps the whole time whilst toddler Strawbs gets a great outing and then it's home for lunch and he sleeps, leaves me with just one for a couple of hours x

[canela]

I used to put baby and toddler and me in the car and drive to a park. kids would fall asleep in the car, then I would park up and fall asleep too with windows a bit open. then when we woke up we would go to the park. helped that we were not in london though.