Adopting a puppy/dog into family with young children

[supergolden88]

I have wanted to get a dog for such a long time and we are now finally seriously considering it.

Although I had a dog when I was a teenager I have not cared for one as an adult. Both my children (nearly 9 and 4 1/2) are very excited about the idea of having a dog and are happy around dogs in the park etc. We also have 16 yr old cat (still fairly active, mostly outdoor).

Ideally I would like to adopt a puppy or young dog from a rescue centre. If anyone has experience about how to go about it or any comments and helpful info please get in touch via this thread or PM.

And if you have any comments about how to integrate a rescue dog (or any dog) into a family home, training etc please do get in touch.

[KatDew]

Hi, we took on a puppy last april. At the time my kids were 6 and nearly 4 year old twins. We had previously had a lovely rescue dog that had died of old age three years previously.

Honestly a lot of rescue centres may be reluctant to let you take on a rescue dog due to the age of your youngest but it does depend. They maybe ok if it is a dog with a known history of being a family dog. I do believe the waiting list can be quite long. For these reasons we took on a puppy as it is, in my opinion, the only way of getting a dog who is definitely 'ok' with children.

There is obviously tons of info online.

We took on our puppy at 10 weeks (he is a mix nothing exciting) I know he was reliably house trained by the time we had had him 2 months but I believe that is quick? He is not perfect on the behaviour front though, his worst crimes involve.... Chewing up precious bits of Lego, running upstairs when feeling mischievous, barking in the garden at our neighbours cat, and occasionally still enthusiastically greeting grown ups in the parks with muddy paw prints.

Puppies are exuberant though and issues have occurred, there has been the odd puppy scratch/bite (more nibble really) incident when he was little. Which was tricky. No one actually hurt but it will happen and hard to explain to a four year old. Also depending on the size of dog you get you may expect the odd moment where a bouncy young dog bumps a four year old over (not happened to us as our dog is a titch). There were a few occasions when I genuinely thought 'what have I done?!?!'

Our dog is now nearly 14 months and the kids adore him. He is incredibly reliably house trained. Has good recall on walks and mostly well trained. I completely trust him with young children although he still seems to have a bizarre dislike of motorbikes and teenagers and is still known to have a good bark at both.

It is worth remembering though that not all kids like dogs and you need a 'play date' plan to ensure that dogs can be kept away from small guests who might be scared of dogs.

They are a big expense though, far more than you expect. There is initial costs, food, insurance, toys. He has chewed up a few things that needed replacing (thankfully mostly stopped now)dog walking fees if you work. Vaccinations/worming treatments plus other vets bills.... Puppies like toddlers get sick more! Puppy classes (essential if you haven't had a dog yourself) and any homing fees if you need to go away without dog! It adds up.

Ultimately I would do it all again though, to me a dog 'makes a home' and I think it has been very good for the kids. I love having a dog around when the kids are at school. I really enjoy the walks and having a dog is incredibly sociable.

Just do some good breed research so you have an idea what you are taking on, be prepared to take on a surprising amount of work the first few months..... But I would say go for it!

[Tallulahdoesthehula]

We have three large dogs, one we have had pre kids the other two post kids, one from a pup the other a rehome.

Rescue places will place with children, it just takes longer for the right dog up come up, generally one which has loved with children before.

Definite research the breeds you are thinking of, different breeds are very different and may or may not work for you.

It's lovely for children to grow up with a pet dog(s) my son (3) and my "puppy' (2) are incredibly close!

[supergolden88]

Thanks for the replies!

I had a cocker spaniel when I was younger and it is definitely the type of size/breed that appeals but I would almost prefer a mixed breed if possible to find a pup that size.

You mention waiting lists ? should I apply or register with rescue centres? Any particular ones? We got our cats from Battersea Dogs Home over 13 years ago...

I realise it is going to be a lot of work (though I am sure I am not prepared for how much) but I really have my heart set on getting a dog.

[KatDew]

Go for it, don't let me put you off! I am very glad we did I was just trying to be realistic.

[RemainingCalm]

Thank you... we have never had a dog and are looking to get one after Christmas, you have given me hope that it will be fine (as well as fabulous!)

[Dun]

The Dog's Trust also rehomes dogs so give them a call too. Dogs should not be left alone for more then 4 hours at a time so ensure your lifestyle can accomodate this. Obviously there are times when this can't happen but don't let it be the norm as dogs are social animals and it is cruel to leave them on their own all day. Be prepared to spend time training training training. Realistically you need to do x3-5 10 min training sessions every day initially. If you do it you will end up with a well trained happy dog. Watch the Dog Whisperer, Cesar Milan, on TV. Get a good training book. Make sure all the family understand the rules and what is allowed and not allowed.

[first mate]

Whatever you do, please do not follow the methods of Cesar Milan. Cesar has been bitten many times...that tells you something.

Cesar does give some good advice, like 'calm, assertive energy' and, of course boundaries and clear consistent rules are vital for dog ownership, but some of his methods are frankly out of the arc and few professionals would condone them.

Get the 'Perfect Puppy' by Gwen Bailey- this is a great basic guide for new puppy owners.

As others have said, look at your lifestyle and then research your breed or type carefully. I would not rush into getting a pup. Christmas is not a great time and puppy farmers put extra efforts into plying their trade over the festive season.

If you go via the rescue route ensure the dog/pup has been tested with other dogs, cats, people and children. Bear in mind that many dogs behave very differently in rescue as there are very particular pressures.

Dun is correct that 4 hrs is max dogs should be left for on a regular basis, pups should not be left at all in first few months of life, they need to be trained to cope with increasing lenghts of separation carefully.

Good luck.

[Mustard]

Agree with looking on the Dog's trust website when you are ready. The dogs they have are tested quite thoroughly.

[WorkingMummy]

Dogs are great for children and families and you. But the amount of work involved is a bit shocking if you are not prepared.

I agree with first mate re Caesar Milan v Gwen Bailey. We have a new puppy now, and I read "Perfect Puppy" for several months beforehand and it was great prep.

I also highly rate this woman:

http://www.cadelac.co.uk

I have her "It's a Dog's Life" dvd and learned loads.

I would also echo the views that taking your time is good and that Christmas is potentially a bad time. A dog is a big change and puppies in particular are a lot of work. Unless you want a lot of problems down the line, you can't leave them on their own for long and you certainly can't leave them to romp and play with your children unsupervised. The natural way for a puppy to explore the world and play is with his mouth and teeth. And for the first few weeks you have to be hypervigalent, to gently correct and redirect him every time he pulls at your children's clothes, puts his teeth on them (even if softly). You have to do this hundreds and hundreds of times and it is exhausting. To really get it right, for the first few weeks, you cannot really turn your back (unless he is penned/crated). You also have to teach your children how to be around him, which in my case has meant, "Kids, when we are with the pup, you do exactly what I say, immediately, no questions. And darlings if you can't do that, he has to go back to find a different family."

Then there is the housebreaking.

But it is a lot of fun and the work does drop off quite quickly, if you are super committed from the start.

Thank god for my puppy play pen.

WM

[a_book_for_life]

It's good to hear good things about Perfect Puppy. I designed the book and art directed all the photographs which were all taken in Dulwich - on location in a couple of lovely houses in the Village and in Dulwich Park.

All the pups and owners are local too. You may recognise some of them!

Gwen Bailey was fantastic - formidable and very knowledgeable.

[WorkingMummy]

Oh bravo you! It is a beautiful looking book. As well as being packed with useful advice.

I was bought a copy by a friend about a year ago. Am so grateful. I'd have been utterly clueless.