Nanny Share advice

[devsdev]

Hello all,

We are looking at entering a nanny share and would love advice on finding the right family and on having a successful share. Obviously ensuring the nanny is right for both families (we have found one and will be starting with her soon as a single family/sole charge) and that the finances work are fundamentals. But beyond that what are the things that are really important or have helped you have a successful share? I had a few specific questions as well.

- We have 2 children (the older of whom will be in morning nursery 5 days a week starting September) - would it be normal to offer to split the cost 60-40 with any family with 1 child (rather than 50-50 or 66-33)?

- Is it better to have the share in one house (especially when the share is not for the full week) or have it at both houses?

- How do you manage the costs of food etc especially if the share is in one house - do you have a fixed contribution a week or does each family buy a certain amount of supplies/raw materials?

- What do you do if one of the children is sick (especially with something like chicken pox or vomiting)? It is very difficult for me to take time off work if my kids are sick (true for everyone I'm sure) so having care that continues with sick kids is important to me.

Thank you so much for reading and for your advice - as always it is very gratefully received.

Dev

[amydown]

Hi Dev

I think a nanny share can be a wonderful set up for both parents and kids when it works and it's good that you are thinking these things through now.

There is no hard and fast rule on any of the above I think and it depends on the financials, logistics and most importantly, what the nanny and the families look to achieve. I have been fortunate to have the same wonderful nanny for over 5 years and in our third nanny share arrangements and all shares have been really enriching and we remain good friends (shares ending through pregnancy, etc).

Some thoughts on specific questions you raise:

- split of cost: I think this can be affected by a number of things, including the age of the share children. I have seen more shares with 50:50 split because families with older children tend to have at least one or both of them in school/ nursery during the day and also younger babies can arguably be harder work for the nanny and demand more attention/ energy

- personally, I find doing the share in one house far easier for the nanny and children, particularly if the share is not for all 5 days

- In terms of share of food costs (and you need to take into account cost of fuel, car insurance, food for children obviously but also for nanny food cost if you provide it). I have, in the past, tracked the cost for a month and then agreed a fixed contribution by the other family. If the other family's needs are specific (eg. Baby in nappies), I think providing them separately will be sensible.

- you may also want to think about how you share kitty money. This can be quite a big expense over time, particularly for paid activities

- in terms of sickness, we have always just been very relaxed about it. When one of mine had chicken pox, our nanny share boy got it too (poor thing!) so depends on the severity of it I think. For normal colds and sick bug, we have always accepted that it's something that just goes round so no worse than nursery or school. If it's more serious though, I would anticipate the parents to take charge rather than exposing share children to the same serious illness.

Hope that helps and of course others may have different set ups/ advice.

Just some general thoughts - money and parenting issues can be difficult to bring up so best to have many scenarios discussed up front and if issues do arise (which they will inevitably do), talk them through early and just enjoy it.

Also, it can be quite a juggling act for the nanny so I think having that conversation with re nanny can also be incredibly helpful.

Good luck!

[devsdev]

Thank you so much Amy - this is really helpful. I will be jotting a lot of these things down. It's hard to come up with a figure for the costs, but tracking costs for a month is a good idea especially because things like money for the kitty can be tracked by the nanny. Our nanny has done shares before (one for 14 years) so she is absolutely relaxed about the share which is great.

And thank you for the last bit of advice - agreed that being upfront and honest at all times is really important.

Fingers crossed for finding the right family soon!

Thank you again :)

Dev