HELP!! I've got five arms

[*Bob*]

I woke up this morning to discover I've grown an extra THREE ARMS overnight. I can't think of why this would have happened - though I have eaten a lot of cheese in the last week.

Can anybody offer any advice?

Sensible suggestions only please - I'm really worried and don't know what to do.

[Huguenot]

Do they all 'feel' the same, if you know what I mean?

[Brendan]

Stick a pickled herring down your trousers, lick your armpit backwards and call Nicaragua in the morning.

[citizenED]

Had it been an extra three feet that would have been more useful....

[Tony.London Suburbs]

*Bob* Wrote:

Sensible suggestions only please - I'm really worried and don't know what to do.

You have simply become a Jellyfish, thats all "Bob".

Get a few like-minded friends together and you will form a "smack" of Jellyfish.....

[HonaloochieB]

This is what happens when you eat cheese and read Kafka at bedtime *Bob*.

It also means no one will ever play table tennis with you again.

[*Bob*]

Huguenot Wrote:

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> Do they all 'feel' the same, if you know what I

> mean?

Unfortunately they're all all growing out of the back of my neck, so I can't reach, try as I might.

Great minds though and all that though, eh Hugue.

[*Bob*]

HonaloochieB Wrote:

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> This is what happens when you eat cheese and read

> Kafka at bedtime *Bob*.

Nice of you to say, but I'm more of a Razzle man.

[HonaloochieB]

*Bob* Wrote:

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> HonaloochieB Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > This is what happens when you eat cheese and

> read

> > Kafka at bedtime *Bob*.

>

> Nice of you to say, but I'm more of a Razzle man.

You just want to make a coarse remark about putting your extra arms to good use, dont'y you *Bob*?

Well I'm not going along with it.

[*Bob*]

I'm just downing a half pound of Red Leicester - maybe I can grow another four knobs this time.

[Moos]

citizenED Wrote:

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> Had it been an extra three feet that would have

> been more useful....

If It grew an extra three feet, that would be just frightening for Mrs *Bob*

[*Bob*]

What - you mean - grow three feet on the end of each knob?

That would be alarming for sure.

[Moos]

*Bob*, are you a Hydra, or a centipede? I'm getting very confused.

[HonaloochieB]

You sound a little fraught *Bob*, if you're in the CPT tonight I'll buy you a few drinks to calm you down.

How will I know you?

[*Bob*]

I'll be wearing a mauve beret, an A-line skirt and winklepickers.

[Moos]

As long as your skirt isn't hideously short, *Bob*. That would be so wrong.

[*Bob*]

Can someone get the round in?

I'll have four pints of lager and a packet of dry roasted, please.

[Moos]

Is that to have something in each of your hands?

[HonaloochieB]

*Bob* Wrote:

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> Can someone get the round in?

>

> I'll have four pints of lager and a packet of dry

> roasted, please.

What the freak's having and a large VAT for me.

And kindly don't stare barkeep, I know mauve's not really his colour but we don't want him gettting all self-conscious.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

The extended Family are having an Octopus for Xmas this year, its not as nice as Turkey but, at least, we all get a leg....

[Andystar]

This reminds me of my own sad tale of woe. I ate 2 packs of twiglets & some out f date sunny delight, fell asleep & when i woke up, Don't both my arms fell off. i went to the Dr & he said "Don't worry, you're armless now"

[BigPhil]

Moos Wrote:

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> As long as your skirt isn't hideously short,

> *Bob*. That would be so wrong.

Brendan has the exclusive on short skirts....(td)

[????]

Hey that's really cool *bob*, give me 25s