Would you move your child from one nursery to another?

[Sarie]

Am after some advice... one of my children is in the settling in period at a nursery and it's not going very well. I appreciate that settling in can take some time but there are a couple of things that have happenned that do not fill me with confidence. There's a possible offer at another nursery. Has anyone else been in a situation like this before? We don't want to cause added trauma for our child by moving them somewhere else only to find similar things happen at other nurseries and it's actually no better and that maybe it's just my expectations of what a nursery should do/provide are too high!

I'd be grateful for any advice or words of wisdom from people who have or who have not decided to move their child in a similar situation. Sorry to give no further details but I don't want to get too specific as it wouldn't be fair on the current nursery.

Thanks

[Saffron]

It's almost impossible to give any advice without knowing what troubles you currently. Suffice it to say that you should probably go with your instincts.

If something isn't sitting right with the current nursery already, will it get better in the future? How would the new nursery address your concerns differently? Could you have a couple of visits to the new nursery with your LO before you decide? Good luck. xx

[midivydale]

I have sent you a pm

[goldilocks]

As Saffron notes - I think that you would need to be more specific about what your expectations are so that you could get comments re whether things are likely to be similar elsewhere. Finding out whether other people have moved their kids won't really help you or give you any comfort that things would work out differently, but understanding whether the things you have issues with are commonplace may do.

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

I moved my child from one nursery to the other and he was so much happier as a result .

[Cheryl_M]

I had the same problem when my lo was 8 months old, she was constantly crying when I dropped her off at nursery and again when I picked her up and looked so relieved when I collected her. I left it a couple of months then found a fantastic childminder and saw such a difference in her. Good luck

[Sarie]

Thanks everyone for your advice/comments and those who have kindly sent PMs. It is tricky as I don't want to give too much away, (or even mention gender!), but here is one example. When I went to pick up my child the other day I could see he/she was really distressed and no one seemed to be to paying them any attention. I was watching from the door way for a few minutes. My child didn't see me. When I went over my child was shaking they were so upset and wouldn't look at me for a while. Clearly I don't know if a member of staff had been comforting them or not a few mins before I arrived but given the state my child was in it seemed unlikely. When I queried why my child was so upset I was told it's that time of day! Which I can relate to! But... are my expectations too high? Would you not expect your child to be comforted? Is it any better at other nurseries?! Thanks in advance for any response. And will respond to the PMs too when get another spare moment!

[goldilocks]

Nope that's not normal - I wouldn't expect an upset child to be left upset. Both mine have been in nursery from around 13/14 months onwards and that has never been the case. Upset kids are always comforted and the staff ratio is such that none are left on their own upset. There will obviously be unusual occasions when a child cries more than anyone would have liked in any nursery but this should be totally out of the norm and the response doesn't seem comforting. I've been really happy with nursery, but then the nursery is amazing and the staff are lovely with the kids. Fundamentally you want somewhere where they look after them and they're happy. If you want to discuss further re experience (currently in the 4th year of using nursery for childcare) I'd be happy to via PM.

[Saffron]

Sarie, I would not be happy with that either. It could have been a one-off. We've all had a moment of inattention in our lives. BUT, your post seems to suggest that there have been other incidents that didn't sit well with you. I think I would consider moving nurseries if I were in your place.

Did you visit any other nurseries before your child started the current nursery. I think I visited ~4 nurseries before making a decision. It's good to see how different nurseries are run, and what facilities are available.

I saw two that were outstanding, clean, friendly, good staff ratio, and well-organised. I saw one that seemed pretty average, a little tatty, but very nice people and good toys/resources (everything child-sized and within reach). Then I saw one that was fairly poor (at least in my opinion)... there were loads of things stacked on high, narrow shelves. There wasn't much room in the indoor spaces. Staff were drinking hot coffee while supervising children (ok, I do it at home, but if I splash my own child with hot coffee on accident, I only have myself to blame!), and they kept shushing the children outdoors and telling them not to run. This would not have been a good fit for my boisterous daughter.

So, just by visiting more nurseries and talking to their staff, you may get a broader idea of the kind of care that is available and how staff would handle various problems.

My daughter went to an accredited Montessori nursery, and children were definitely never left to cry. In fact, I think the staff would have been mortified if it had even happened on accident.

Hope this all helps. xx

[midivydale]

No, I would not be happy with that either. Definately not. There are so many factors and it is all so subjective but if you have a hunch, an instinct then listen to it.

[Convex]

i had to move mine as our nursery was closed.

bearing in mind he was very upset to not be going back, a year or so on he is very happy at his new nursery.

not really answering your question, but just to say that moving isnt a disaster! both mine took a while to settle but i always had the impression they were comforted. i often walk in to pick up or drop off and a nursery worker is cuddling an upset child, i almost never see one left to cry and when it is its for short periods (eg putting them down to prepare food etc)

[chrismar]

I moved my child. It was a very specific situation but the lovely teachers of the first nursery said parents had to follow their gut feeling. Best advice ever.

[MoysieC]

I say trust your gut. It has to be right or you'll just worry. Always better to have a bit of short term change than stick with a situation you are not happy with. Kids are resilient to change - it's more important that you find the right environment for the medium/ long term. If you feel it's not right, it doesn't matter that others are happy with the nursery. Everyone has different requirements/ expectations and you will find the right place for you and your child.

[esme]

I just moved my 19 month old for various reasons and he's settling after just a few weeks... If they're not settling there is a reason usually. When mine was 9-10 months he went to a childminder. He never settled so I moved him to a nursery after just 2 months. He was settled within a few days. Every child is different. Follow your instincts and move your child, I'm sure you won't regret it x