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extra terrestrials

rgutsell

By rgutsell
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Ted Max

Ted Max

Posted
Posted

"Take us to your leader."


"Actually, we don't have a leader as such, we're more a loose federation of all different sorts of people, bound together by the common chance of geography. There is admin and the moderators, I suppose, but I'm not sure they'd appreciate the extra workload. You could always put an ad on the Forum asking for a meet with a leader, or maybe start a thread. But do a search before you start one because it really pisses people off if you just go over the old 'hand over your first born, we are here to exterminate you' stuff again, because we had that with the Zenorians, and they all got banned and stuff."


"Fuckin'hell, Dave. We're off to Vegas,"

Ted Max

Ted Max

Posted
Posted

We gave the Zenorians a street and in return they gave us a Warehouse, and did fill it with all the wonders of the universe.


And soon they broadcasted through their common consciousness the message, "The people of ED will buy any old shit" and then came traders from the Celestial, Eddeli and Mootoo planets, and made a killing.


After a while some of them achieved Moderator status on the EDF where messages to keep spending were spread, and in time, all ED was under their command.


Posters who suspected their true lizard-like identity were soon neutralised.


Only the truth-teller Macroban was left, defying them with tales of impending doom and snappily linked research into public leasehold agreements. Yet Macroban too fell silent...

HAL9000

HAL9000

Posted
Posted

UFO's are hibernating monolithic Von Neumann/Bracewell Probes parked by ancient alien visitors amongst the Greeks and Trojans of Jupiter. They were awoken by nuclear detonations in Nevada, which were interpreted as evidence that an intelligent species had evolved on Earth. They came, looked around, abducted a few mammals but didn't find any intelligence worth writing home about and returned to Jupiter to await further developments.


I should know. I had a run in with one of them back in 2001 and am scheduled to make contact again in 2010, if they don?t track me down first.


So, yes, my presence here could precipitate first contact in East Dulwich. Be afraid, very afraid!

bignumber5

bignumber5

Posted
Posted

Fear 'n boozin Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I've always wondered why our Martian friends have

> been so obsessed with visiting the Nevadan desert

> over the past half century or so. It's not as if

> there's anything there for them to see (unless

> they are secretly visiting Vegas).



Well, frankly, we can do without a group of funny little fellas with a massive gambling problem who, based on reports, have an interest verging on obsession with the anal-probing of intellectually subnormal rednecks: i bet they don't even read the guardian...

????

????

Posted
Posted

bignumber5 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Fear 'n boozin Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > I've always wondered why our Martian friends

> have

> > been so obsessed with visiting the Nevadan

> desert

> > over the past half century or so. It's not as

> if

> > there's anything there for them to see (unless

> > they are secretly visiting Vegas).

>

>

> Well, frankly, we can do without a group of funny

> little fellas with a massive gambling problem who,

> based on reports, have an interest verging on

> obsession with the anal-probing of intellectually

> subnormal rednecks: i bet they don't even read the

> guardian...



Shite...could be me

rgutsell

rgutsell

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Hi all


Ok


Enough of this nonsense.


Now for some serious, important stuff.


I have it on the highest authority that even as we speak a race of highly intelligent, pan galactic, and intra dimensional alien beings is gathering on the edges of the solar system, getting ready to invade. The signal that they were waiting for was the installation of a certain alien shrub in the centre of a roundabout of a certain neighbourhood.


The reason that it has taken some time for the signal to get through, is that some thought that it was quite a normal thing to do, and therefore it went unnoticed to begin with.


The best thing to do in the event of the invasion is to go to the EDT (Extra Dimensional Terrestrial) and quickly down two pints, whilst quoting Douglas Adams. Bring a towel (for the spilt beer).


Good luck.

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