Help with weaning, savoury hater...

[Mrs_Glennie]

My daughter is nearly 8 months and we've had a rather rocky start to the weaning process.

I began her at 6 months on little bits of mashed banana, avocado, carrot etc and we were slowly building up from there when she got a terrible cold and was totally bunged up and refused to eat anything so for the rest of the cold I didn't offer any solids until I knew she was fully well again and we started from scratch. After another week or so of accepting the fist foods and building up to eating 3 times a day she got an awful tummy bug with projectile vomiting and had to go to kings A & E where I was told to only Bf for the next 72 hours.

So 3rd time lucky I tried again and finally managed to get her eating 3 times a day about a 4 weeks ago while staying with my mum but she is MUCH happier eating fruit/yoghurt/porridge and really fusses and complains with pretty much anything savoury. To the point that I'm starting to find mealtimes really difficult and am getting quite anxious about it.

I have tried what feels like every vegetable combination known to man and various Annabel Karmel recipes. She either refuses them point blank or has 2-3 spoonfuls and then fusses about, turning in her high chair, chewing on her hand and often furiously rubs her eyes and face - often getting the food in her eyes which causes her pain I'm sure. I've often taken this as a cue that she's overtired or not interested but if I get some yoghurt or fruit her eyes light up when she see it and she calms right down and wolfs down the food and often cries when it's all gone!

The only exception to this seems to be bits of cheese or cheesy mashed potato but I worry about the salt content of giving her cheese too often.

She has her bottom two teeth so I have tried to see if she prefers baby led weaning and have offered finger foods but they ever even touch her mouth she will either crush them Incredible hulk style in her hand or just rub them again her high chair and drop them on the floor.

I have wondered if more teeth are coming or if she is sometimes too tired to eat at her evening meal but as soon as the sweet stuff is in sight she perks right up!

I have a freezer full of meals that I've spent hours making and I feel so defeated by this. Tonight she refused her tomato pasta and when I left the room for a few seconds to go and get a banana she had tipped the dish all over herself and was rubbing some of the sauce in her hair and on her face. When I tried to clean her up she wailed and continued to wail throughout her bath and didn't really calm down until after her bottle, by which time I was a nervous wreck and hating myself for feeling a little bit relived that I'm going back to work soon and she will eat at nursery.

I just feel dreadful this evening and have no idea what to do to get her eating balance meals and dread to think what sort of 'advice' I might get from my HV. Is there any Family Room wisdom that might help me?

Thank you for reading this monster post...

Mrs G

[Fuschia]

Well 8m is really very early. I would try not to worry at all about 'balanced meals' for now

Think instead of letting her experiment with various tastes, shapes, textures.... What food will be fun? If you give yourself a breathing space of 2-3m and try to relax into that. Let her see you eating And using cutlery and just try to enjoy it, it will come right.

Small humans are actually programmed to opt for sweet foods because to a hunter gatherer a sugary food was a high calorie food

What you see as her refusing the tomato pasta sounds more to me like her showing great interest in it ('red stuff! Hmm ... What does it do? Is it shampoo?' sort of thing)

Making sure she has old clothes on and putting her straight in the bath after might be good

[Fuschia]

Ps she does sound tired ... Is breakfast any more successful? Why not try the savoury foods then?

[nunheadmum]

I would say the same as Fushcia - don't worry about it. I suspect most kids start of liking the sweet stuff more so it doesn't mean she's bound for a life of sweets and biscuits. And the more stressed you are about it, you can guarantee the more she'll play up.....it's Sod's law!

I know for me the worst thing was seeing the food I'd slaved over, in my bid to do the right thing, ending up on the floor / bin / hair!! When it got to me I ended up using pre-prepared food - jars etc (there wasn't quite so much choice around a few years ago) - so that I didn't mind as much. Actually my eldest seemed to like these more - which was very galling. But it kept me sane and gradually she did move onto proper food and now at 6 she's perfectly healthy and eats pretty much as well as I could expect and LOVES her veg.

[melbourne groover]

I'm with Nunheadmum, my eldest was an appalling eater as a baby (at one point pretty much only eating this revolting jarred porridge, nothing like the Ella's kitchen etc) and I too tried every combination I could think of. Tortured myself with Annabel Karmel, agonised over it all and threw out a lot...

However I too now have a 6 year old that happily eats most things (and will less enthusiastically eat others but still eats them) and is really getting adventurous, although still has a sweet tooth! Try not to worry too much, and just keep offering stuff.

[Strawbs]

My son was exactly the same at the beginning and still does the rubbing of food all over his face, in his eyes and hair and he is definitely not tired as most of the time has had a sleep pre meal time , for a little while I added some Ella's kitchen pear to the savoury and then reduced it each time til he was eating it all. I'm sure you have but have you tried butternut squash and courgette? The butternut squash is sweet and I add savoury veg. I can't get my son to eat meat so I'm battling that at the moment. Good luck! X

[etta166]

I agree with what everyone else has said. I think you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself that you don't need to. Weaning takes time, so you could step back to 1 or 2 meals a day and take things more slowly. I'd say that my 15 month old is still in the process of weaning, and we started at 6 months too.

Trying new foods and being fed are both quite unsettling experiences. Try having someone spoon feed you with something that you've never had before... I know that I'd feel really out of control. It may just be that your baby feels confident with the foods that she has tried and likes, and wants to stick to that. It may be best to just let her eat things that she likes, and try to experience other new foods by playing, squeezing, messing and eventually tasting.

Try to take a step back and relax. Ask yourself some questions about your weaning aims: why does she need to eat 3 times a day? what do you consider to be a balanced diet and why? what is wrong with her current diet and why? would it be ok if your baby just sat with you at meals and played with your food? do you think she would find it easier to eat the same things she can see you eating?

The other thing to bear in mind is that weaning is always messy, and rubbing food around the place, trying to finger-paint with it and using it to style your hair are all normal things for a baby to do.

Good luck and try to enjoy it!

[oimissus]

agree with everyone else, 3 good meals a day at 8 months would be incredibly impressive! One thing I would say - I also slaved away making everything, with only having Ella's pouches if we were out - but thinking back I should have used more jars as at least you don't feel so slapped-in-the-face that something you've spent ages making has gone everywhere but where it should, or rejected altogether - my niece was weaned on jars of baby food, and now at 3 and a half will tuck into just about anything you could mention, loves her food and eats alongside the family no bother - and did so from about age one.

[apenn]

Mrs G - hate to wax lyrical about it, but do consider reading Baby Led Weaning by Gill Rapley. And ditto on all the above advice. Feed her what she likes and continue to offer her new things to try, but don't worry if she doesn't eat them. She's still getting all the nutrition she needs from her milk/formula feeds.

[bluesuperted]

Absolutely agree with previous posters, especially Fuschia, etta and apenn.

I have also heard amazing things about this book:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/My-Child-Wont-Eat-International/dp/0912500999

Sounds very reassuring about what babies really need and how they won't starve themselves, will take what they need and this is especially true before one as milk is their primary source of nutrition.

My son, who I now class as a fab eater (22 months) still smears food occasionally into his hair and was certainly doing it with gusto pre-1 year old and beyond. I look at it like this: I sit him at the table, give him playdough and finger paints and want him to experiment with sensory play. I sit him at the table, give him mashed potato and yoghurt (not together!) and want him to only eat... quite confusing on a basic level and therefore very confusing to a baby!

[Mrs_Glennie]

Thank you all so, so much. I've been sat at home rather teary all evening and it's very reassuring to read your posts.

I've literally just stopped breastfeeding her, last feed was on saturday having cut down to one feed a day in preparation for my return to work. So am wondering if my hormones haven't help my mood and anxiety this evening.

It sounds like I've set myself unrealistic targets about how much she should be eating, I'm basing it on the Annabel Karmel planner thingy but she's a good sturdy little lady so certainly isn't wasting away!!!

I will take time to read the BLW book which i do have but haven't had a chance to read yet.

etta, am wanting to enjoy this so much, i love seeing her enjoy the foods she does like but do take your point about how the whole process is unsettling. She was an incredibly well fed, happy breastfed baby for the 1st 6 months so this is a big change for her!

You're all lovely thank you for listening.

[Fuschia]

I am sure the hormone drop having stopped bf, and worry about going back to work is the thing that's causing the worry.

I think the AK approach is a bit regimented and expects a lot very quickly.

Hope you feel better once you get past this bump in the road ... Change is unsettling for both of you, I am sure! But the only way to go is onward ...

[Beagle]

Weaning was the worst phase in my baby experience, our child had no interest. Now at 21 months she astounds us in her willingness.

I really think before 10 months we had very little success and I recall being in tears at the baby clinic about this, convinced my child would waste away. They would take one look at my roundy baby and reassure me I had no worries.

I think you have a lot on your plate as stopping BF, returning to work are all big steps.

If your baby is not losing weight she is doing fine. Milk is their main requirement at this age. I won't say don't stress because I certainly did, but some kiddies just take a little longer to get interested. Banana porridge and breadsticks and philadelphia were our mainstay for a long time.

[jennyh]

We had awful weaning experience as well, if you search my name you will eventually come across the original posts when I was frantic. My daughter is now 16 months old and is still a funny thing when it comes to eating, she decides exactly what she wants and will point blank refuse if she isn't in the mood and so I have had to learn to just go with that. Some days she will wolf down a huge portion of macaroni cheese and an entire nectarine, the next time I try she will purse her lips and refuse...no reason for it other than the other circumstances really.

if you daughter is a good weight then I really wouldn't worry too much. It's easy to say and I was also fraught with worry and stress over weaning but in retrospect there are more significant things to think about and in my limited experience these things change from day to day and week to week.

I see that your daughter will go to nursery, mine went at 8 months and I am thrilled to say that after a couple of weeks fussing she now pretty much eats everything they give her and has done for months. She plays up at home and wont eat for me but there is definitely something to be said for the nursery environment encouraging good eating habits.

Try not to worry, she will eat and will suprise you!