Pickle

Generally we have been quite lucky and avoided the majority of bugs, but frustratingly since last night all 5 of us have been hit by the sickness bug, a mere 3 weeks after the last dose which stuck me and my two little girls! Horrible. :-(

I have to agree with the others I'm afraid. If I host s party at home I'd much rather spend money on an entertainer, as sourcing food/decorations etc is easily done in front of the telly with my trusty iPad, and I find my older kids (4 and 6) come up with the themes themselves. That said, I'm sure there probably are people out there that would pay for what you propose, and I wish you the best of luck.

We used to live across from Heber (nearly 7 years since we moved). At the time I had no kids, and was self employed, doing a lot of my work from home, but never felt bothered by the noise. As Kristymac says, the playtime noise was happy noise. Definitely handy when the time comes to apply for primary schools.

... and I'm pretty sure a lot of family roomers look at other sections of the forum too ;-)

Pocket Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > The ED mother is a very lucky woman. Not many of > us in 2013 have the choice to stay at home and > look after our children. We are not living in the > same era that our parent's did. Costs for > everything are astronomical, forcing mothers to go > out to work simply to make ends meet. > > I am going to stick my neck on the line here, and > I know that I will get shot down for saying this, > but staying at home to look after your children > these days is a luxury only the few privileged can > afford, sadly. Would love to do it but I don't > have a partner who earns enough to cover all our > outgoings single-handed. Therefore any tax-break > to help us balance work and childcare economically > is a godsend. Agree entirely. I stay at home to look after my 3 children, and feel very lucky to be able to do so without struggling to meet the day to day costs that having a family brings. The suggestion that I should be entitled to ?1,200 a year like working parents is a ridiculous one. Given the choice between commuting to work in the city, where I made my career before kids, and being able to do the school run, volunteer at school, and spend every minute of my day with my 14 month old, being at home would win hands down.

What time does this group meet? My 6 year old would like to start beavers too, but I'm not sure of the logistics!

With #1 and #3, yes, until they were well established on solids (dropped it at around 8 months). With #2, no - it didn't seem to make a difference to her at all, and as I was more tired at the time I struggled to stay up late enough to make it worthwhile (she didn't take a bottle). With #3 it wasn't so much a dream feed, as I used to haul her downstairs into the light so I could watch tv :) My experience with my dream fed babies is that they would sleep from the feed at 11pm-ish through till pretty much morning, with #3 sometimes waking for a very quick feed at 5:30ish but then settling back to sleep. Non dream fed daughter would wake at around 3am, but was easy to settle back to sleep after a short feed. Probably not much help, they're all different, and it has to be what's best for you too x

I have shopping delivered by Tesco weekly and have never tipped. They get paid to do their job, if I tipped everyone who delivered things to my door on top of what I already pay for the goods themselves I would be bankrupt!

I'm also a fan of weekly meal planning - I never have any waste as even fruit and vegetables are worked out exactly for the week. On the rare occasion I buy too much of something I make a batch of vege soup with a handful of red lentils in it and freeze it for the kids. I batch buy meat (have recently bought 2kg of lamb and beef mince from Guy who advertises on the forum and buys from Smithfields, lovely quality and good value). I buy packs of frozen king prawns to use in fish pies, heaps cheaper than fresh ones, and you'd never know they were frozen. My Mum has always withdrawn cash every week and has a super organised system of little tins - milk money, newspapers, food, petrol etc. I don't think I could do that, but she says it really does make her stick to her budget.

21 months for child 1, 15 for #2 and #3 is 14 months and absolutely miles off walking (a bottom shuffler like my son was). Absolutely no need to worry.

I've owned cars since I was 17 (grew up in NZ, not a huge amount of public transport, pretty much everyone drives). When I moved to London 12 years it took me 6 months of Northern Line commuting hell before I bought a Vespa, and shortly after that, a little run around car. These days I would struggle without one - 3 kids and their various after school/weekend activities which aren't all local, Mr Pickle uses it to get to squash/hockey, and I have a busy routine of rehearsals, most of which are in Brockley/Lewisham/Bromley and start at 7:30pm - pretty much impossible to get to on public transport within the 20 minutes after the kids are in bed. I think I'd feel lost without one after over 20 years of owning cars :-)

My older kids both get into one bed and I sit beside them to read stories

No problem! Chances are I will be involved in this at some point too (I'm the principal flute in Opal Flutes). It's a great opportunity for younger players to gain experience playing as part of a group.

My friend, who is a fellow flautist and conducts a group that I am a member of, is starting a new group for young flautists in the area. As it will be held in Dulwich, I thought it would be of interest to some of you with budding young flautists in the house. At this stage it will either be a weekday after school, or a Saturday morning - this depends on what interested people thinks will work best. Here's what she says... Dulwich Flute Group Starting after Easter: a new flute?ensemble for young flautists who want to play a variety of fun music with other musicians. For players under 19 years of age and of grade 3 standard and above. A weekly?session (term-time only) of approximately an hour and a quarter?in East Dulwich, led by Sharon Moloney (Musical Director of Opal Flutes). For more information please e-mail [email protected].

My son had an outpatient operation there when he was about 17 months old. Yes - take all your own food/drinks etc. We were impressed by the organisation and the day went smoothly for us despite the obvious stresses of having a child in surgery (albeit minor). Back then (he's 6 now) they took the children from youngest upwards, so you stand a good chance of being seen early in the day at 11 months - on the day we were 2nd on the list. I seem to remember having a pre-op appointment before the day where they explained the process, have you not been offered one? Things may have changed, and I guess it depends what's being done. I hope it all goes well. P x

My 4.75 and 6 year olds traded up to Maxi Micros at Christmas, far more practical for getting them places than bikes, I think we will be using scooters for years.

In reply to Cashewnut: "I can see how an explicit ban could be counter-productive but you do have a certain amount of control over what's in the house right? (Maybe I'm being naive as I don't have experience beyond toddler-dom yet" Yes, you have control over what's in the house, but once they hit school age you don't have control over what they're exposed to. Toilet roll tubes and Lego become swords and guns, sticks and leaves are bows and arrows, a green circle sellotaped to the wrist is a Ben10 watch. There's absolutely no way you can stop it IMO.

canela, that's brilliant. As a parent, given the choice, I'd much rather my kids were sneaking off to play Barbies than smoke/drink/take drugs :)

The problem I have with doing a post-book chat/critique is that you run the risk of taking the fun out of reading books. My older children are at the point where they are just beginning to be able to independently read books and watching that journey unfold (as a lifetime lover of reading) is one of the most rewarding points of parenthood so far. As I type, youngest Pickle (13 months, girl) is bottom shuffling round the room with a rifle saying "bang". We read "That's Not My Fairy" earlier...

... and please do realise I'm a little tongue in cheek with my heels and makeup comment. I'm a stay at home Mum who wears heels (well, wedges) and makeup to do the school run. I have standards ;-)

WorkingMummy Wrote: ----------------------------------------- > Love to know from you and others how to talk to > children about this without getting dogmatic. I > guess, just start a conversation? Ask the > questions? Trust them to get to the right answers > for themselves in time? To be quite honest, I wouldn't specifically talk to them about it. I believe the more you dwell on something with small children, the more likely they are to over think it. I look at stories through children's eyes, not at how they may have an impact on their lives in 30 years time. I grew up in a very traditional NZ family - Dad worked, Mum stayed at home, we read all the fairy tales and watched Disney. No lasting emotional damage ;) My focus is on making sure my kids are well educated and happy with a secure home life. It is this that will shape them into mature, responsible, functioning members of society, not whether they've watched Cinderella.

Taking it one step further, I take it there are a number of working mums posting on this thread. Can I assume you don't wear makeup or high heeled shoes to work?

At the risk of sounding callous, I can't help thinking there is an awful lot of over thinking going on here. They are kids. Kids will play with whatever takes their fancy in that particular 5 minutes of their day. When my son chooses to play with a doll he is not making a conscious decision to break down male gender stereotypes, when my daughter plays with trucks/mud/bugs she's not sticking two fingers up at the world and celebrating her feminist beliefs. As a parent, I'm confident that reading Cinderella to my daughter is not going to result in her getting into a relationship when she's older where she is controlled and does what she's told at all times. Let them be children.

While I understand where you are coming from, I would never ban such stories or tv programmes from the house. We read all sorts of books, sometimes princess stories are chosen, other days it's pirates. My nearly 5 year old girl has two Barbie dolls which sit in a drawer never being played with, she's not interested. Similarly dolls in general in our house are untouched by her, but often used in games by my 6 year old boy. World book day came along and my daughter opted to go as a princess, this doesn't bother me at all - she's 4, she wants to dress up and wear a twirly dress, it doesn't go any deeper than that. Learning about gender stereotypes forms part of the growing up process doesn't it? Let them be exposed to all aspects of life as kids, and, if you do your job as a parent well, rest in the knowledge that they will make sensible choices as they grow up.

The best solution I've found is a standard (Ikea) blackout blind sitting inside the windowmframe, with well made roman blinds over the top which sit over the frame. Gro blinds are good, but a pain if you're having to put them up and down every time you use them.