Ruth_Baldock

I am wondering how early on in the pregnacy a baby would refuse milk? We're TTC at the moment, but by my calculations I'd only be about 10 days gone. Too early for baby baldock to tell, surely? Or maybe not, babies are so sensitive to any kind of change, aren't they?

This will be my 3rd post on here at the moment, which shows I am obsessed with this forum. My baby is on his 8th day of not nursing. I am going insane, I LOVE nursing him, but he is not interested at all. I have been keeping hydrated, taking fenugreek, attempting to hand express and express with my medela and NADA. We've had tonnes of skin to skin and co-sleeping naps and all the rest but I have NOTHING. S doesn't seem to know how to latch anymore. I'm not engorged. S is totally disinterested, I can't even dreamfeed him anymore because he wakes up and screams bloody murder. I have tried and tried and tried to get him to relatch and to stimulate milk production...but the cuboard, so to speak, is bare. I've had awful under-supply issues for about 8 months now, so I am wondering if this is the end of it all? It's all very well if he decides to come back to it in due course, but I'll have no milk for him. I can think of a few reasons he may have gone off my milk, one very clear one springs to mind. Has anyone else experienced this? Just wanted some other's experience, really. The whole thing is really upsetting, he won't take formula so I am bricking myself about him getting enough calcium, but he does woolf down cheese/yoghurt. He'll drink loads of water from beakers too, so I think we're okay. Bit gutted though :(

Snapfish? I'd be up for this, especially since Baby Baldock is now getting to be a bit of a handful at groups and either likes to play with toddlers, or stroke (smack) newborns; I find myself constantly apologising. Lots of friendly ladies at bumps&babes yesterday, I wonder if any of them had read this thread?!

Thanks all, I think Push or The Mag may be a goer :)

I don't drive- last Friday I failed my 8th test. I've been learning since I was 17 and I'm 25 now. We absolutley do fine with public transports and my husband drives so he does the weekend jaunts to bluewater. In short, it's more than doable. I really wanted to get my license bfore baby baldock 2 arrives but that's clearly not going to happen. I'm giving up now, might get a sticker for my baby's pram 'my other car is the number 12 bus'

On iPhone, apologies for typos etc. Seb is one a week before Xmas and I am stuck for ideas for party venues. Tried the Florence but they don't hire out the playroom, boo. Any reccomendations? Our place is out of the question- too small, many stairs, sebs mum and dad not fans of cleaning etc (ahem)

Helibel, loved your frank and honest post- thankyou for writing it and sharing so openly. Was at Bluewater today (where else would I be on a boring sunday? am v predictible...) and I saw lots of pregnant ladies, enjoying (decaff) lattes, stroking their bumps, wandering around leisurely. Like another lady posted here, I thought 'You poor fool. You have NO idea...'. (In a nice way). baby baldock is in the middle of a nursing strike and it's been the lowpoint of my maternal adventure, by far. I remember going to baby groups when he was about 4 months old and my heart would sink towards the end of the session, because I thought 'oh no, back home again'. I was crippled with lonliness, bordem and exhaustion and now know I was not the only one! I find it very difficult to go up to Mums at babygroups and say 'Can I join you?' except for if I find second or third time Mums, who seem to be even more blunt than I am, so we always have that in common. Had a lovely chat with two mums to two 3 week olds, both with older kids. Still felt awkward though, woe. I always said 'Oh i'll have more confidence when baby b can sit/crawl/walk'. Well he can do all three and I'm still nervous. OH WELL, I know I'm not alone and that I am in very good, kind and funny company with all you lovely forum ladies.

`it's the other way round for me! My MIL does EVERYTHING for baby baldock when she sees him- nappies, homemade lunches, getting him to sleep, entertainment, everything. She looks after him 2x a week when I'm at work, has had him overnight, frequently babysits- ahh, heaven. Same with FIL, they both dote on baby baldock (he's the first grand baby) My mum? Not so much. I was ill recently and went to hers for some help- HA! I got a lot of 'Ruuuuuuuth! The baby is cryyyyiiiing' when I was upstairs vomiting, and lots of 'he's done a poo/why is he crying/he's about to crawl out of the door'. I love my Mum but bloody hell...

How funny, I always love what you're wearing poppy! You always have lovely classic and well thought outits! I think my hair flowers must be a bit of a trademark; I had a big purple orchid in when I had my nuchal scan and when I ha my 20 wk scan, the scan, erm, person recognized me from the same hair thing! I suspect you're right- i've gone from one extreme lifestyle to another- total poles apart. Saying that, me and mr baldock went away to shoreditch house recentu and went out in east London and I was so bored. Me and husband Spent most of the time shouting over terrible swedish house music about seb and whther he'd do lots of poos whilst his mum looked after him for the weekend! It also sort of reminds me of that new drama Which is soon to be broadcast; "any human heart". Part of Jim broadbents narrative outlines that you'll exhaura yourself trying to be the same person throughout your life and "history is of little consequence as we pass through life" and it's absolutely spot on! Apologies for typos, ob the iPhone as always!

I'd meet up if seb had the pox! I feel the same about the forum meetups- I have been to a few and alwyas enjoy myself but I'm always so anxious and nervous, it's terrible! Must get over myself... The other week, I emailed a v good mummy friend a photo of how i used to dress which was taken about 6 weeks before I became pregnant and she was astounded, couldn't believe it was me! I used to be a size zero, had a very short, high maintence hairdo and hung around shoreditch/spitalfields all the time! I even modelled for super super and id magazine once or twice. I also said I'd never wear jeggings. Well, I'm wearing my beloved stretchy denim for the 4th day this week and just scoffed 5 Jaffa cakes for brekkie...

Having said that its really nice to be brave, head into town, wear heels, take a small handbag and pretend to be your old self - I hope that bit of me never completely dies! This makes me think of 'There is a light that never goes out' by The Smiths. I don't think that's QUITE what Morrisey had in mind when he wrote it though... Thought I'd add, I bloody co-ordinate an NCT postnatal drop in. This involves speaking to/emailing lots of people and I always muck it up. I now practise what I am going to say on the phone (saddo) and write out drafts of emails and get my equally awkward husband to look them over. Still doesn't work, I am still really odd. Ah well, at least my baby thinks I am a HOOT.

Zoe, it is sad but also comforting to know that us awkward types are not alone. I always worry that upon meeting me, people must think 'God, what a bore/weirdo!'. I think it does happen to Dads too, my husband has to do a lot of networking (vomit) in his line of work and he has said he's so useless at it now that he hasn't bothered to make anymore buisness cards up. I was the same as you, always the centre of attention (in a good way, of course ;) ) but now...ahem, not so much. Or not in a good way, anyway. I seem to find myself cringing at a lot of things I say/do now. I have a few friends that 'get it' though so I'm not a TOTAL freakshow.

I only did the NHS classes rather than NHS and NCT. NHS classes were brilliant, really informative. At Dulwich Hospital when I was 29-31 weeks pregnant, lovely MW who ran them. However, I WISH I had done NCT classes too- for the support network, really. I didn't know anyone after I had my baby and spent the first 10/12 weeks of his life feeling totally isolated. Friends who had an NCT group said it really helped having others in the same position, and also a weekly meetup to look forward to.

X-factor passed me by this time round. Asked Husband what a 'Cher Lloyd' was and how did one get one's 'swag on'.

Head and shoulders seems to shift ANYTHING (awful toothpaste in Baby's hair, awful dyejobs in mine).

Old woman-0 Sb, baby SB and in-utero SB-1

Sb: What are you talking about?! You have lovely hair, always really well dressed and you suit your pregnancy down to the ground (looked lovely before that, too!) I know what you mean re: references being wrong though. I picked up Heat magazine a while back and thought 'What IS this shite?!'. Had no idea about celebs or fashion or anything. Apart from baby fashion that is (Mmm, Asos for kids...)

when people ask about what I am doing about work I do feel quite defensive and embarrased. Looking after Baby SB IS work, bloody hard work too if he's anything like Cheeky Sebastian (which, through reading your posts, it sounds like he is...kindred naughty spirits, I think). I was out of the loop going back to Goldsmiths (trendy art college, no one gives a toss about Monkey Music or Medela breast pumps or baby food), and choosing what I am going to even WEAR makes me feel sick. My other job, acquisitions in a library, I fell right back into. Odd. (I did keep in touch with my boss and colleagues a LOT whilst I was off though, also am v good friends with boss). My husband said I was waddling the other day. Nearly decked him. Then he said 'No, it's okay- it's the classic Mum Waddle'. Wanted to cry, had some crisps instead...

A colleague of mine (one J Wadsworth who was recently in the news re: tuiton fee cuts) was talking to me recently about my return to my studies/lecturing. He asked how I felt about it all, and I admitted to feeling totally out of the loop and freakish. He sympathised and then told me there had been research (by who or when I do not know- duuuur) that indicated that some parents, specifically Mothers, experienced a large loss of self confidence, and also found social situations really challenging after they had a baby, regardless of whether they had a 'good' birth or suffered PPD. What do you all think? I sometimes think I am the most awkward person in the world, I can barely string a sentence together and get really nervous even asking how someone is. I normally put my foot in it, too. It wasn't always this way, I used to be as confident and charming as they came (I charmed my way into Uni through the interview process- I don't have A-Levels, only AS Levels, so certainly wasn't up to scratch academically). Now I'm lucky if I can get through a transaction at Sainos without making a massive fool out of myself. East Dulwich Forum, I can't be the only bumbling fool(with a posh pram) out there, can I?!

Molly, just wanted to say that your lovely baby (toddler?) c was so gentle and caring when she met baby s way back in the spring, when he was just shy of 4 months old. I was very impressed! I think she even showed him a yoghurt and passed me his plush dinosaur when she saw it in his buggy. Lovely little girl, well done you!

Yes, we know aaaallll about Jack too. My younger brother (15) is called Jack and so are most of his year, the year above him and the two forms lower him too, apparantlu...

I know 6 babies named Sebastian, all under a year old, which includes my own little Seb!

Breastfeeding is like trying to have a meaningful conversation with two kittens fighting under a duvet. (So said because in the early days when I used to try to hide my bits when I fed Baby Baldock in public, he'd squirm under any cover so much that it looked like there were a couple of animals having it out under there...)

Sillywoman, I can relate. Baby Baldock isn't even 11 months old and I was told by...ahem...a 'family member' that when elderly relatives were over, I had to either feed him from a bottle under the pretence he was full-time bottle fed (we're mix feeding him. Actually, now he only gets 3x boob feeds a day, he's 99% breastfed. I digress...) or I had to go and hide in the downstairs loo (not bedrooms, as one of the elderly mad may stumble upon me...) because it was 'outrageous' to be feeding him past 6 weeks! Expletives were used. My own family are huge hippies and we were all practically breastfed until our A-Levels, so my Mum is fully supportive of my desire to let Baby Baldock wean at his own pace (never at this rate. He's a boob man, allright). It's horrible when people make you feel like a freak for breastfeeding, especially those of you who are meant to LOVE and SUPPORT you!

Yes, at the playground at Ruskin park a group of 9/10 year olds were lovely to baby s, encouraging him to stand up againstthe climbing frame and saying "watch out, he's little!" to a bunch of 5 year olds. Then they asked if he would be out playing again soon. The gentle mantra is so deeply imbedded in me and mr baldock that we both find ourselves saying it all the time out of context- whilst parking and putting things in the trolley in sainos...