MGolden

No it's not but it's not more likely to be young and inexperienced members of staff either. I know of experienced members of staff in public sector organisations who develop work related stress because of changes in working practices and demands so I think we need to be cautious when drawing conclusions.

Metallic Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > On sick leave due to stress. What an indictment > of teaching. Whether you are on a pay freeze or > not, the fact that there are obvious problems > within this staff room is worrying because the > young inexperienced but wholeheartedly > enthusiastic teachers are the ones most likely to > succumb to stress. Metallic, I'm sure Debster99 will correct me if I'm wrong but I read her post as meaning staff in her staff room are off with stress. I don't think she has said she knows anything about the sick leave of Kingsdale staff. Or were you assuming that what is happening in Debster99's place of work is happening throughout education?

westof Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Carbonara Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > My friend was told that her child had been > offered > > a full sports scholarship for KD, but has now > not > > been offered a place. They have been offered a > > place at a lower choice school. How can this > > happen? > > We were in this position 2 years ago - I believe > this because they are only permitted to select a > maximum of 15% via the scholarships, but also > offer the scholarships (i.e. free lessons or > whatever) to children who get a place via the > banded lottery. > > So (as with us) your friends son wasn't part of > the 15% selected, and also hasn't received a place > via the lottery. > > In our case, we went on the waiting list - in fact > we on both the "Scholarship" waiting list, and the > Main waiting list, and got regular emails to let > know how our position on each list. > > It's very frustrating - but if you phone the > school immediately, they may not know yet what > position you are. IIRC it took a while, possibly > even a few weeks? until all parents had accepted > or rejected their offers, before they could quote > the initial positions on the waiting lists. > > BUT your friend can & should still immediately > request to be put on the waiting list (either by > email or by phone - I emailed because I prefer to > have the response in writing). > > Good Luck to your friend! We were in exactly the ssame position two years ago. There really is a lot of movement although at the time it does feel pretty awful. Good luck to your friend.

I agree with Westof and Curmudgeon - a largely positive report which reinforces what I already know about the school: largely positive staff and children who are doing well academically and are well behaved. Any large organisation is going to have some staff who are unhappy and I would be more concerned about a report that said 'all is wonderful'.

EDMummy - you won't be offered them if you accept Harris ED.

Emily, just to add to bibimax's post. Two years ago, this was my son. We were offered none of our six choices but instead offered a school that was a three hour round trip involving two buses each way. My son really did think he was a failure, as did the ten other boys in his year at school. Not helped by the fact that he was being bullied at the time as well so the whole secondary school thing just added to his general feelings of uselessness. A month later we were able to tell him he was going to Kingsdale which was on our list. His sense of relief was palpable. All of the children in the same boat as him were also offered places within a month too. Interestingly, one of the boys was offered a place that his parents hadn't considered but where, two years later, he is thriving academically and socially. Last year was the same in our primary school and, again, within a month all those not offered a place parents were happy with were offered a place they were happy with within a month. In at least one case I know of a boy was offered places from each of the top three on his list within a month as each school operates their own waiting list. I'm sure that right now it feels terrible but these things do come to an end and it will be alright.

Our experience two years ago (and that of friends last year) was that the system crashed and we received electronic notification that we had nothing three days after the letter arrived! We live in LB Croydon and their system seemed to be that even if you had applied online they still sent you a letter in the post and that did arrive on the 1 March. But as bibimax has said there is a lot of movement and in our case our son had been offered a place on our list by 31 March. Last year it seemed to be the same; any of our friends children who didn't get a place on 1 March were offered one on their list by the end of the month.

St Joseph's Primary School is in Upper Norwood and comes under LB Croydon. You will need a baptism certificate and evidence of regular church attendance. Virgo Fidelis is also in Upper Norwood, LB Croydon and very close geographically to St Joseph's. It is private and I don't know what their entrance criteria is but presumably a big bank balance will help as you'll need to pay the fees!

Fair banding and distance ETA: crossed post!

FatherJack - short answer, no. Longer answer - our criteria was a school that was nearby that we could send our son to. We wanted a mixed, comprehensive school with a sixth form that was ideally within half an hour of home. We were extraordinarily lucky, I now realise, to get that. However, none of the schools were in our LA (Croydon) as their availability for boys in the north of the borough is woeful but that's a subject for another forum! I think we are probably in agreement really, London lacks sufficient secondary school places for the number of children who require education and whatever system individual schools use will advantage some and disadvantage others.

FatherJack Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Debster999....You must be chuffed that the > Southwark school Kingsdale welcomes applications > from all over London > and not just Southwark residents. > > Last year 42 Southwark children received NO offer > of a school. This is NO offer, Southwark were > unable to offer them a place at any school as > there were no places available. So it irks > somewhat when you hear that Kingsdale cater for > children from far and wide when other boroughs do > not offer Southwark kids the same unconditional > opportunity. But them's the breaks and more > relevantly the criteria! FatherJack - Kingsdale is at the very edges of Southwark and like many London schools participates in the pan London system of parents putting preferences. I live in the LB Croydon, as I have said on this forum before, my son goes from Croydon to Lambeth to Bromley to Southwark in his half hour journey to school. If he walks to school it takes him 25 minutes and he can avoid Bromley. His friends live predominantly in Southwark with a fair few who live in Brixton (Lambeth) and Forest Hill (Lewisham). None of his friends travel for more than half an hour to get to school. This would suggest to me that Kingsdale offers places to children who live reasonably nearby although I acccept that extrapolating from the experience of my child and his friends is not necessairly a good statistical method. As I am sure Fuschia will point out it would be illegal for Kingsdale to say they would only accept children from Southwark and (and I am not suggesting Fuschia would say this!) by not having a geographical catchment area Kingsdale does not run into the issue of people moving into areas in order to get their children into a school because of a restrictive catchment area and then pushing houseprices up. We didn't send our son to a Croydon school because we did not want to send him to an all boys school and we did not support the ethos of Harris Crystal Palace. Had we applied to send him to our nearest secondary school he would have gone to a school in Lambeth so not our local authority either. Secondary school admission is a nightmare and I do feel sorry for those looking at schools now as there is clearly not enough provision for the growing population in London but Kingsdale are not the cause of children in Southwark not having a secondary school to go to. ETA: to correct spelling!

Annette Curtain Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > OMG > > EdTheVicar > > The best new posting name for ages & he's actually > 'a vicar' > > (actually is OMG appropriate in this case) > > > :-S hehe

Ondine Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Fuschia Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > I am a rubbish singer but hAve yet to find a > > situation where a little song isn't help with > > difficult moments > > > This made me laugh. My boss was giving me advice > on coping with teenagers and she said threatening > to sing in public works miracles!! When mine were little we had songs for every situation - bath time, teeth brushing, bottom wiping etc etc. Now they're older I find threatening to kiss them in public does the trick.

A lot of what your Mum and MIL say will be spot on, a lot won't. Smile at all the unsolicited advice and then go with your instincts. The sleep you didn't get last night will never be 'caught up on' so start each day anew. Sleep when your baby sleeps.

My now 13 yo used to feel sorry for the bear as he thought the bear just wanted to play with the family.

Vicster - this has to be one of the most fascinating threads I've read and followed on this forum for some time! Well done! Dulwichgirl2 - as you have pointed out there are many types of family and what suits one doesn't suit all. However, I must admit that your line '....hence the issue for many people of selling principal home to pay for the care...' did make me laugh a little. As I only have one home selling the principal or secondary really isn't an option for me and I suspect for most. But what also struck me was what read like (and I do apologise if it wasn't intended to be so) an assumption that your parents would want to live with you if and when they become old. My mother is 87, fiercely independent and lives alone. She is also frail with multiple medical conditions. She is visted nearly every day by friends and my sisters and I. She adores her grandchildren and loves the peace and quiet when they (and we) leave. She would be horrified if we were to suggest she give that up and live with one of us because she is old! On a more practical level I imagine the idea of moving into my family home which is noisy ( I have two sons age 9 and 13)would be the stuff of nightmares. We would need to get one of our children to give up a bedroom or alternatively lose our living room to make it in a bedroom for my mother. And then what happens if my MIL becomes old (she is already 81)? We'd have to build an extension! And then, what if they get ill? A live in nurse would also need a room. The reality of having an elderly relative move in to one's home is often very different from the fantasy. But - maybe your parents have made it clear that when they get old they would love to come and live with you and your family and that might be right for you. ETA: correct spelling

You don't need to pay the fine at all. Have a look at moneysaving expert for some very sound advice. http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/reclaim/private-parking-tickets You will receive some threatening letters from the private parking company that runs Lidl car parks but they are not enforceable. Also - if you can't prove you were shopping in Lidl in the day in question they would be very unlikely to let you off a fine because you happened to be shopping there on another day and didn't 'overstay'. I'm more than happy to discuss further if you want to PM me. Michele

reren Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I cant figure out a way to make this not sound > preachy - and Im no saint when it comes to my in > laws but have you tried putting yourself in their > place. Imagine how you will feel in the future > when your kids have their own families when you > feel like you want to celebrate something really > significant to you with your children and > grandchildren. They are presumably the people who > you love most in the world and enjoy spending time > with the most. You'll presumably do your best to > put up with the grumpy woman/man they've married. > I think it must be hard to adjust after being in > charge of all family celebrations / codes of > conduct for years and years - and then have to > adjust to your family not really being yours any > more and now you have to navigate the rules of > your son/ daughter in laws. Not surprising that > people get it wrong and arent brilliant at being > in laws...Especially the parents of sons - often > its cause the sOn is being wet that problems occur > (in my opinion!) I am one of six daughters and our family are very close (see my post above about our family celebration for my parents 50th wedding anniversary even though my father had died 23 years before!). But when I had my first son I was actually shocked that my husbands family thought they had as close a relationship with my son as my family!! It does take some working through - we see my family a lot as we are very close. We don't see my husband's family that much and then usually it's the whole family - different family dynamics are always at play. There is no right way to do this - I hope I grow into the type of mother-in-law my sister is to her daughter-in-law but who knows. As I get older I get less fussed by things that bothered me when I was running around after tiny children. Eventually Vickster you may look back at this weekend and think you're glad you made the effort. :)

westof Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Thanks Ondine (& my apologies to Betterinthesun > for sounding suspicious) mystery solved & I will > wait for mine to bother telling me ;-) My Y8 son hasn't told me either but that may be because he hasn't noticed which would make me think they aren't crawling all over the school. I did receive an email from the school today with the OFSTED questionnaire although I don't know which questions would indicate 'outstanding' teaching.

womanofdulwich Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Maybe this will have a silver lining as you see > them often enough you will be able to ask if you > can leave your daughter with them when you go away > to celebrate your wedding anniversary- we all know > how important these occasions are and how much we > all like to mark them - albeit in different > ways....;-) Excellent idea!! :)-D

Vickster - it is hard. Of course we marry someone we love not their family but they often come as part of the deal. I know my in-laws are very different from my family and and I know there are times when I feel I need to bite through my tongue! But if it helps - my husband nearly had a nervous break down when my family announced we were going to a flash restaurant to celebrate my parents 50th wedding annoversary - my dad had at that time been dead 23 years. We said that if they hadn't got married none of the six of us would have existed and so we took my mum out to celebrate and had a wonderful day.

In-laws are funny things aren't they?! Do your in-laws usually say what gifts they would like in advance of birthdays etc? If so, this is not that unusual is it. Also probably better for them to say what they would like rather than both you and your husband and their other child buying them something they didn't really like! I agree with Mrs TP - this event is going to happen (if snow doesn't intervene) and you may as well put a brave face on it. :)

Huguenot Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Am I alone in thinking this all sounds deperately > improbable? > > A hate figure from yesteryear is hauled out of > retirement in order to be stripped of a knighthood > for doing what everybody else did? > > I don't reckon so. > > There's something else going on here. Criminal > charges pending? Threatening to tak another high > profile job? An oustanding grudge that took a > while to mature for doing something he was told > not to do? It may be quite simple really - Hester said he was happy to forfeit his bonus but only if Goodwin was stripped of his knighthood - let's face it Osborne isn't going to take any money off Goodwin so Hester wanted something and stipping him of the knighthood may have been all it took!

I agree with Fuschia - talk about pressure. :) My two sons (now aged 13 and 9) trained themselves. The older one announced he didn't want to wear nappies anymore at 2 years and 8 months and within three days had cracked it. The younger one waited until he was three and then although he managed wees he took another six months before he was happy doing a poo in the toilet. With both of them I let them decide and went with their preferences. I see so many threads on here with people trying to get tiny toddlers continent and having difficulty. Relax - it will come in time.

Look up www.parkrun.com It's a free, timed 5K run at 09:00 on a Saturday morning. There is one at Brockwell park (by the lido) and one at Crystal Palace park (by the cafe). I think they are considering starting one in Dulwich park as well. Very friendly, runners of all abilities and some people run with buggies as well.