Ole

Thanks for all your replies. I think I will take him to a showroom with both high sleepers and mid sleepers and then decide. My gut feeling tells me he is far too little for a high sleeper but they grow so quickly and they are so expensive that I don't want to have to swap one for the other in just a couple of years.

I'd suggest then when she starts with the screaming 'I don't want to have a bath', you say 'ok, you can go straight to bed then', and be firm about it, you might get even more screaming to start with on the first night but she might think twice about kicking a fuss the following night.....sometimes zero tolerance is the only option left although I admit to be the first one to give in after a long day at work

My nearly 4 year old is desperate for a mid or high sleeper and I think they could be a good solution because his room is quite small so we could fit some furniture underneath them. However, most of the websites I have visited say that they are only appropriate from 6years old onwards so I was wondering if any forumites have put younger children on one? he has outgrown his toddler bed and really needs to upgrade to a proper sized bed so I am keen for somebody to tell me that it is OK in their experience.

Gosh, poor you, I can't offer much advice that I am sure you have already thought of except sympathy and that it will pass and to not give in to 'only mummy' doing the bedtime routine as I am sure you'd happily hand over to your partner (or in laws!). We sometimes get that 'daddy read me a book not mummy' or vice versa depending on the flavour of the day, but we always stick to our guns and tell little Ole that he does not get to choose. I'd say gentle firmness and consistency are the way forward, and letting her have a little bit of control over the situation, for example when you tell her it is bathtime perhaps ask her if she'd like to have a bath (and letting her go without one if she says no?), or letting her choose pyjamas, or bedtime story? She might be trying to claim a tiny bit of control by being contrary?

About a month ago I asked what was going on with the lifts and I was told that they have 'electricity issues' and that they can't be connected to the mains and that they should be working in the near future. I read that as 'We have run out of money and we don't know when they will be working, if they ever do'.

After 12 hours of contractions I was only 2cm so I asked for an epidural because I was so demoralised by that, but I was also very high on gas and air so when the anaesthetist finished putting the epidural apparently I whispered [very loudly] to my husband: 'Well, I can still wriggle my toes so that's good' and then cracked up laughing.

My son had this phase too at about the same age so it is probably normal. Does he go to nursery? if he doesn't then maybe he is ready for some sessions? Also, how about purging his toys of babyish/toddler ones? I found that after I boxed up stuff he has had since babyhood my nearly 4 year old now plays a lot more with what was left, and then we added a couple of new things to encourage more independent playing.

Poor you, it sounds exhausting! My instincts tell me that the morning nap probably has something to do with it. Does your childminder let him sleep until he wakes naturally? if it were me in your situation, I'd gradually cut the morning nap, say reduce it by 10 minutes every day, and see if that has any effect. You don't say how old he is but perhaps he is old enough to cut out his morning nap altogether? (my son dropped his by about 7 months I think). He may have learnt that it is OK to wake up early because he is going to get a long sleep later in the morning. Also, to deal with the separation anxiety without controlled crying, have you thought about pushing the cot right next to your bed, so that if he wakes up when it is still official night time you can reach out to him and he can hold your hand so you are not doing the controlled crying thing but you are still laying down some rules? I tried this with my son at some point (we have had endless ups and down with sleep too) and it seemed to work. Another thing we did when little Ole was waking up early (4:30am) was that we would put some books in his cot and he would play with them for a precious few extra minutes. This was a good tip because even now that he is a proper bed he knows that if he wakes up too early he can read a book until he hears us stir (by reading I mean flicking though the pages). I hope any of this helps!

Agree with Canela - I'd suggest to also watch out what you talk about with your partner (or other grown ups) if the kids are within earshot - I am not saying that it should always be light and fluffy conversation around them, but I have noticed that my son pays attention to our conversations even when we think that he is entertaining himself, and occasionally he has repeated phrases that we have used to describe our feelings, so perhaps also consider the possibility that she might have picked up on a conversation (maybe not even necessarily by you, it could have been anywhere), so now we leave the heavyweight discussions for when he is in bed.

The last two books I read have been 'Gone Girl' by Glillian Flynn, and 'Alys, Always' By Harriet Lane. Out of these I preferred the Harriet Lane one, but both are the type of books you can't wait to find out what happens next.

I had a clear out of my son's babyish and broken toys over the weekend and now it is looking a little empty! Suggestions for brilliant toys that will keep him entertained for hours? He is 3.5 now but I'd prefer to get him stuff that he is not going to grow out of soon. He is into typical boy stuff (pirates, knights, fire engines), he used to love his Brio trains and track but he hasn't played with it in ages and I wonder if he has outgrown it?

It is a developmental thing, at around the age of 2 children realise that there is life outside of mummy and that daddy is there too. They go in phases and depending on whether it is a boy or a girl they will seek out either mummy or daddy at different stages in their lives. I think it is hard for mums because for the first couple of years they are so dependent on you and you spend soooo much time with them that it is difficult not to take it personally, but it means that the child is developing emotionally so you just need to be pragmatic about it, set boundaries, and remember that they are learning to find their own feet.

Oh yes Borough market! I went to Borough market last friday for the first time in years. I could have spent ages tasting stuff but I had my 3 year old with me and he was being whingey and kept pulling me away. They had some pretty amazing stuff (but very pricey, only as a special treat), I'd love to go back on my own.

Been there, done that, and at 3 years old we now get the 'I'm not your friend' but at least this goes to both mummy AND daddy!

lucyA1308 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > my one bit of advice, which my husband tried to > convince me of, and I didn't listen, but he was > right. > > When we got married in Dulwich village, we had a > flat in Tulse Hill. I stayed at the flat, and it > is not a very long journey into Dulwich Village > from there. > > I wanted to arrive in a black cab. I think they > are so stylish, and even that is a luxury for me, > who mostly travels on the bus. > > My husband found a company that specialises in > black cabs for wedding hire. It cost about ?130, > and I thought that was a ridiculous amount of > money to travel from Tulse Hill into DV, just for > a black cab with a ribbon on. > > So the day before the wedding, I phoned up London > taxis (what ever the company is called), and asked > to book 2 cabs for a specific time the following > day. > > When that time came, I got a call from the taxi > company saying that they had been putting calls > out but there were no cabs in the area. (I imagine > they might have come up to Brixton, but were not > really many driving around Tulse Hill looking for > customers on a Saturday afternoon. > > I didn't know that was how they opperated, and > thought that if i had booked a cab, then they > would make sure they would be there - not just > call out for the nearest one at the time, and see > if there were any around. > > Anyway, it was a gorgeous sunny bank holiday > weekend (almost our anniversary coming up), and > all our neighbours were either at the wedding, > waiting, or had gone away for the weekend. So we > all piled into my dad's car (they live in the > countryside, and the car was full of sacks of > gardening stuff). Mum, Dad, my bridesmaid and my > aunt, and me in my dress, and all the bouquets of > flowers. > > We were actually early, because of the sudden > panic, and the thought that we needed to make up > for lost time. With all the adrenaline, I almost > ran down the aisle when I got there. > > moral: Listen to your husband to be, if he makes > any useful suggestions, and also don't rely on > being able to pick up a passing black cab in > Dulwich. Ha ha, this happened to me too! I got a call just about when the cab was due to be told that no cabs where in the area (Denmark Hill and I do see quite a few cabs around because we are so close to Kings but must have been a quiet day). Everybody was at the venue and I was facing having to drive myself (in my wedding dress and with a long veil!). Instead I decided to call my brother and hope that he could find his way to our flat without getting lost and in record time. He did, and although it was hardly a glamorous arrival (my bother has 3 children and the car was a clapped out volvo strewn with crisp and other paraphernalia) it was touching that for that short ride it was just my parents, my brother and I, just like when we were children, and of all the memories from my wedding day that car ride is high up on the moments I cherish.

Thanks for the ideas, I can start filling out my meal planer again!

My 3.5 goes to nursery 3 days a week and is with me the remaining of the week. I am bored of our lunch options which are mainly leftovers from previous night dinner, or soup with sandwiches, or fish fingers with chips/beans. Any suggestions for quick lunch ideas? Also, it seems that for pudding we always have either have fruit or yoghurt but I am sure there must be more to puddings that this! I am stuck in a food rut!

I was also going to suggest, once the medical thing clears up, having a chat with your daughter about it. I've noticed that as my son gets older, instead of coaching, bribing and ordering about, sitting him down and explaining - in a not gown up but not quite childish way either - why I am keen on him to learn/do something is actually quite successful. So perhaps you could sit down with your daughter and explain the reason why you'd like her to try sitting in the potty is because when she goes to school she will have to go to the toilet by herself like the other big children and therefore isn't it a good idea if she started doing it? Or you could try asking her about it so that it appears as if she's taking control of it, ask her 'would you like to start using the potty like the big children?'. if she says yes then she can take ownership of it, and if she says no you can ask her why and find out if there is any other reason (if she is scared of the toilet, or it hurts, etc) You might already have tried these, but it is things that worked for me.

Also, programmes can buy 'news packages' with the news already typed out and the images/videos etc, all the station has to do is tweak it to its house style and get a presenter to read it, so you are seeing practically the same thing over and over again in the different channels. I prefer channel 4 news because at least they offer a bit of analysis which means they must employ at least one extra member of staff who deals with the guest bookings (who have been briefed to death by their PR people on what and what not to say so the whole thing is usually rather bland, but at least they are making a teeny bit of extra effort). Disclaimer: I don't work for channel 4, but if you are interested in the real what is really going on (politically), I'd suggest a Private Eye subscription (I don't work for Private Eye either).

I think the problem is that they (and by they I mean most news outlets not just the BBC) rely too much on press releases - if it ain't got a press release it ain't going to be reported. Hardly surprising, the media has been stripped to bare bones with just enough staff to man the phones and pick up the press releases from the press release churning machine, so hardly surprising that there are no real 'news' in the traditional sense. We live in the era where PR and corporate communications rule. Real journalism is dead. (and I am not a journalist by the way, although I do work in media)

Well, I just remembered that his other UK cousins are coming to London to stay with us the second half of the half term week, so he can't stay in Spain after all! Just as I was getting used to the idea of a few days to myself..... hmm, at least now I know how I feel and that I would be happy to let him stay on because feeling slightly deflated rather than secretly relieved. Next time then. Sorry for wasting people's time with long post!

We are going to my visit my parents in Spain for the bank holiday which tags on to the half term week, and it turns out that my nephews (aged 14 and 7) are also going to be there (and my brother too) for the whole week, so my father is taking the whole week off work to be with them. We were due to fly back to London on the monday bank holiday but I am tempted to let my son (aged 3.5) stay on for the rest of the week rather than flying back with us. I would fly back the following weekend to pick him up. He loves spending time with his cousins and since my father is taking the week off work anyway because of the other grandchildren being there. I can't take off the whole week so I have to fly back to London for work. I have never had a night away from my son so part of me is saying 'absolutely not' but the other part of me is saying that he will be with his grandparents, two cousins and uncle so surely there is nothing to worry about and I could do with a few days to 'myself'? I know that my son would love to and I haven't asked him because I don't know if I dare let him stay if he says that he wants to. What would you do? My parents would be delighted if I let him stay in Spain with them a bit longer and his cousins thrilled too. I will feel a bit spoilsport if I do't let him and bring him back to London whilst his cousins stay on, but I have never had a night away from him and it being a different country etc etc.....

newtoedf Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > LA school - an awful lot of schools are caught out > by this firm. > > It might be worth sending a copy of the article to > your school and warning them in advance. Hindsight > is a wonderful thing... Surely the school, especially the headteacher, would be aware that they are sending out advertising material in their name? I would have thought that the school would have had to say 'yes' to the firm providing the materials. Except perhaps the firm is going straight to LAs for approval and LAs are saying 'yes' on behalf of the school and are allowing this (does the ?150 go to the school or the LA?). Wouldn't surprise me, profiteering at any cost is rampant these days.

This is going to be controversial, but this weekend I noticed a few mums on the playground going really overboard with the sunscreen and the sun cover-ups and it is not like the children were newborn or little - the children were about 4 years old. Yes too much sun is damaging but for the body, but to absorb calcium you need vitamin D and this is mainly produced by sunshine. Lack of sunshine can result in stunted growth, therefore, in my opinion. Now, I am not saying that I forgo the sunscreen and sun hats all summer long, but I apply common sense depending on the circumstances, how much sunshine there is, what time of the day it is and how long we are going to be outdoors, but to me it does not make sense to slap on the factor 50 and long sleeves and sun hat at the slightest hint of sunshine in an inner city playground.

Conversation yesterday afternoon: Me, to little Ole: 'I---'s mummy has asked me if you'd like to have a sleepover at theirs one day, would you like that?' Little Ole: 'Yes' Me: 'That means mummy or daddy won't be there though' Little Ole, age 3.5: 'That's OK, I---'s mummy will look after me'