Saffron

Certainly children are affected by what they read, just not always in the ways which we interpret as adults. Plus, I don't think it's necessary or even useful to stereotype girls who do like pink, dressing as fairies etc, as conforming to what some adults possibly perceive as a media-driven frenzy of thinly-velied antifeminism. Being feminin --in whatever form be it pink or otherwise-- does not necessarily relate to being subservient, meek, weak-willed etc. Geez it's no wonder young women are jumping off the feminist bandwagon like rats off a sinking ship. https://www.kcl.ac.uk/newsevents/news/newsrecords/2013/03-March/Young-women-may-reject-feminism-as-marginal-and-old-fashioned.aspx In perspective, if some of our deepest concerns for a our children are the stories we read them at night, then our lives are pretty good, no? When they ran for their lives, did Syrain mothers stop to consider what books they would take with them? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say "No". http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/03/06/syria-refugees-women-and-children-forgotten-_n_2817654.html I'm not saying the "cinderella issue" doesn't matter at all to me, I'm just saying I definitely won't be losing sleep over it personally. Nevertheless, an interesting thread. xx

Pickle Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Taking it one step further, I take it there are a > number of working mums posting on this thread. > Can I assume you don't wear makeup or high heeled > shoes to work? :)

Yes, definitely try a combination approach. If he's doing it as an ingrained comfort, then offering a replacement behaviour and reward strategy along side an aversion therapy seems much more likely to get results. Otherwise, he's just being 'punished' for doing something that he finds comforting, without any proactive incentive to quit or other good behaviour to fill the gap.

simonethebeaver Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > We are trying to stop a ten year old constantly > sucking his thumb. We are desperate for him not to > turn up at secondary school next year thumb in > mouth. He is already the only child in year 5 who > sucks his thumb throughout the day. > > It is so ingrained that he has no idea he's doing > it. We tell him off every time we see it but it's > often back in his mouth seconds after he's taken > it out. We're trying Stop and Grow but I don't > think it's having any effect. Any tips on this? Aversion therapies on ingrained behaviours can sometimes make them worse. With what positive behaviours have you tried to replace the thumb sucking behaviour?

Plus you can give the nice sales lady your children's old shoes. She sends them to a recycling program that will clean and refurbish them for low income families. Lots of charities don't take shoes, so it's always nice to know somewhere that does. xx

pommie Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > saffron > > yes my little one had her BCG and she has to wait > 4 months before she can have her MMR booster. She > was fine with her BCG and at the moment doesnt > have the usual blister that comes up but was told > if this doesnt happen it means her immune system > is high Hmm, that's a rather confusing thing to have been told. I mean, does a "high" immune system mean that she already had some innate immunity to TB (some people do), or that she made a "high" response to the imm??? In any event, it may be up to ~6 wks before a blister appears, so give it some time. If nothing at all appears after 8 weeks, I think I'd be inclined to make further enquiries. I agree with Buggie that the extent of the scar can vary hugely person to person, so it's not an accurate indicator of induced immunity on an individual basis. Although if no local reaction develops at all, this could (possibly, not always) indicate that the immune response to the vaccine has been insufficient to give significant immunity. But whether or not re-vaccination would be appropriate is unclear, as some sources suggest that re-vaccination does not incur a more potent or significant immune response. I would speak to the imms nurse or phone NHS direct (0845 46 47) if you're unsure. xx

In light of the difficulties in evenly and fairly applying an opt-in system, would time and money not be better spent on education and support? (Edited for pointless ranting.)

How soon after the birth is she hoping to return to work? And also, what would be the maximum gap of time she could take off, if she were not able to return to work as planned? If you think you'll need extra help in the first few weeks after the birth, a postnatal doula might be a good option, as a postnatal doula will help look after your wife as well as the babies. Later on, are you looking for in-home care (nanny? au pair?), or to place the babies at a nursery for a few hours each week? Will you be able to get any help from family? Many nurseries will not take babies under a certain age (eg 3 months), and quite a few of the local nurseries have waiting lists up to a year or more. (Particularly if you're looking for a specialist nursery.) For children under 2 yo, it's often recommended that they have only one main carer besides the parent, otherwise it can become very confusing/upsetting for them to be bounced from one person to another on different days. We have our daughter at a Montessori nursery, and the care is brilliant. But be advised that if you're looking for a Montessori nursery, the name is not trademarked. Anyone can call their nursery Montessori, but it doesn't mean they necessarily adhere to the true Montessori priciples. Look for a Montessori that is registered with one of the national Montessori bodies, if that's what you're wanting. xx

It may well be worth getting a second opinion and also doing some research of your own, because dentists are not united on this issue. Also, because thumb sucking at this age has often become an ingrained activity for comfort, it's not always as easy as just disrupting the habit with aversion therapy (bitter tasting stuff etc). Ideally you need to replace it with something else that's positive and comforting. Otherwise, you'll end up with rebound behaviour (where the thumb sucking becomes worse), or the behaviour can be subconsciously transferred into something else like nail biting. I suspect that if you're able to break this habit with one round of aversion therapy and 1-2 nights poor sleep, the habit was not deeply ingrained in the first place. Eperience tells me that for many people it will not be this simple. Good luck. xx

Haha, I cannot even imagine you being smug! F, you're one of the least smug and most grounded people I know. But being persistent and not giving up is something any mother can be proud of! xx

From the G15: http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2013/mar/03/london-housing-associations-private-property-rent

Can anyone give me a brief and accurate synopsis of the pros/cons, and mostly importantly logistics of opt-in vs opt-out? I had always thought that opt-in would be logistically impossible?

Crystal Palace 1o'clock club is brilliant. There are often a good mix of people there, including childminders/nannies, grandparents, and dads. Although even if you happen to go on a day where it's mostly mothers, everyone seems to be friendly and open. The staff in particular and really wonderful. They're so helpful and sympathetic. There's a small indoor area just for babies, and also when your LOs are a little bigger they have rolling walkers for the outdoor area. Plus there is a grassy area, and when the weather warms up they will put on lots of water play. Possibly most importantly, the coffee is good and reasonably priced! (Lots of parking spaces too.) You don't need to book in advance. It's not expensive, and you don't have to worry about turning up "on time". You can come and go any time during the session. Check the website for more info. http://www.mytimeactive.co.uk/leisure/leisure-centres/one-o-clock-club/default.aspx Then you're only a short walk from the CP park cafe, and a stroll round the lake in the buggy when your LOs are sleepy. xx

Fuschia Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I adopted the approach of cooking enough things > that no one would starve but I didn't go > Mad with the monotony, then letting them > Mostly serve themselves with a bit of tasting > small bits. So much easier when you have several > Children and the focus is less on the one child > and their plate. Just to pick up on your last bit... Mr Saff and I have only one child, but we have noticed she often eats better when we have friends (her or ours, or both) over for meals, all sitting round the table together. Also, (mostly) serving herself is helpful too. She's not a fussy eater in general, but we've certainly been through fussy episodes. Definitely taking the focus off the child has helped for us too. And it's been a great excuse for having friends round for meals often!

Pommie, hope you were able to schedule your LO's imms ok in the end. xx

KattyKit Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Saffron that is not quite correct - A mantoux test > for adults over 35 doesn't diagnose TB > particularly well and is not recommended - it's a > chest x ray and possibly a blood test, depending > on the results. Quite right. I should have said Mantoux and associated tests. > > Testing for TB if you have been in contact with > someone with TB is only done after a careful risk > assessment of degree of contact, how infectious > they are etc. In Britain. Different countries approach this differently.

Perhaps there was something lost in translation here? I did not assume your GP was ill informed. I was merely surprised by your statement that "When I spoke to my GP about it, he thought that there was no real medical reason for giving the BCG before the age of 1 if you are in a low-risk population." The medical reason for giving it remains the same in any population. It's the risk assessment that changes with population. Whether in a low or high risk, the vaccine provides protection from milliary TB and TB menigitis. I'm not disputing any of the threshold data or age-related immunity you discuss either, quite the contrary. Indeed the madate to vaccinate under-1s in high-risk areas may be misplaced (or out of proportion to age-related risk). However, there is no longer a mandate to vaccinate teens, that I'm aware http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/vaccinations/Pages/bcg-tb-vaccine-questions-answers.aspx#teenagers. And the NHS website on BCG says that if your child has not been automatically offered a BCG, then you'll have to pay for it privately https://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/vaccinations/Pages/bcg-tuberculosis-TB-vaccine.aspx. (Possibly different practices are handling this differently, with some offering uptake later, and others not??? We actually didn't do the BCG for Little Saff, and our practice nurse was quite clear that if we did not take this imm at or around 1 yrs old, then we'd have to have it done privately later.) Regarding BCG and MMR, I found this website useful and easy to navigate: http://surreydockshc.co.uk/child_imms_links.htm#BCG_for_babies_and_children_under_6_years_old

Hi Mia, Were you able to find the support that you needed? Would Maypole Women or Relate be able to offer you any advice? http://www.relate.org.uk/home/index.html http://www.maypole.org.uk/ xx

I thought this was interesting: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-21619188 .

MrsS, so glad you're able to see your regular GP and start the treatment you want. I found sertraline very rapid acting for my postpartum depression, so I hope you start to feel better very, very soon. I also found that although I didn't 100% like the way sertraline made me feel, it was still better than feeling like I wanted to hang myself in a wardrobe. In some ways I felt that it was a "crutch", but I knew (and my drs agreed) it was the crutch that I needed to move me from illness to health. When discussing the course of treatment, a truly wonderful and understanding NHS GP told me, "We do more harm than good by taking women off these [antidepressant] drugs too soon." I think it was one of the most reassuring and kind things I've ever heard, even though I only ended up needing sertraline for a short time. The GP also sent me for general bloods (thyroid, vit D, iron, inflammatory markers etc). Although these things are unlikely to have caused your depression, as I'm sure you know, it might be worth having them checked because they can hamper your recovery. I had an underlying issue with low iron. Adding that issue to my depression certaily magnified it for me. Also even if you're feeling better postpartum, it might be worth running bloods again, because there are haematological changes across pregnancy and postpartum periods. In my case, pregnancy was masking another underlying problem with my platelets (suspected but not confirmed before/during pregnancy). I asked one GP to test this 6 wks postpartum, and she said it wasn't necessary. I asked a different GP (when we changed practices) at ~4 months postpartum, and results finally confirmed that I have a rare and significant platelet disorder, which had been masked by blood volume dilution in pregnancy. Finally, if you have a thyroid test, ask if it's a TSH only test. This is sometimes the only test performed, but it is not 100% diagnostic of thyroid dysfunction which can share symptoms with depression and worsen co-existing depression. I've just recently come across some interesting information on this website http://www.stopthethyroidmadness.com/, and I'm going back to my GP to make enquiries about previous tests. We have a family history of thyroid dysfunction, and I found that antidepressants did not lift some of the symptoms that have a high cross-over with thyroid dysfunction. GPs can't know everything, but the best ones will welcome your input, rather than turning you away. Good luck with your pregnancy and beyond. xx

Southwark FIS: Family information service Monday to Friday - 9am to 5pm Tel: 0800 013 0639 [email protected]

Check with FIS. I think if your child is enrolled for 3 or more days, then you can receive the full 15h grant. If your child only attends 2 days, then I think it's prorated to 12.5 hours. Definitely worth speaking directly to FIS if you're unsure about the nursery's policy. FIS are on your side, and it's their job to advise you on how the Early Years Grant should be applied under various scenarious. Don't just use the information on the websites, because a lot of it is confusing or incomplete. Speak to FIS directly. xx

Well-meaning MiL gave Little Saff a bicycle with stabilisers for xmas. Little Saff (3 yo) really liked it, but still doesn't have good enough coordiantion to ride it without adult help (even with the stabilisers!). Plus whenever she fell, she got tangled in the pedals and stabilisers, and badly bruised and scuffed by them. So we had to put the pedal bike away :( and get her a balance bike :). She still sometimes has a fall, but at least she's not getting tangled up when she does. She can usually right herself without (too much) help. Luckily the pedal bike is adjustable for an older child, so we'll save it till she's learned how to balance on her little balance bike first.

Yes, there have been studies in both vaccinated and previously-infected women. Although, obviously, cross-generaltional studies are still relatively new in humans, as modern immunisations have only been available over the past century. My understanding is that immunisation/infection lead to the production of IgG antibody-mediated immunity (against the specific virus or specific viral elements of the vaccine, which is why vaccine-mediated immunity can differ from infection-mediated immunity), some of these specific antibodies are transferred through breast milk. This may be lower for vaccinated mother's compared to those having been previously infected. However, in either case, this confers a temporary, partial, passive immunity. It does not "vaccinate" the infant against the specific disease, although it does confer significant temporary protection. Furthermore, specific IgG antibodies are not transferred in large quantities to breast milk. Instead, non-specific IgA antibodies make up the bulk of immune antibodies in breast milk, of both vaccinated and non-vaccinated women. KellyMom does a good job of making a short summary of this info here: http://kellymom.com/bf/can-i-breastfeed/meds/vaccine-protection/ . This article from J of Pediatrics focuses on measles but is intresting and relatively easy to follow http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022347686810393 . Undoubtedly CP/shingles imms in the UK are an issue of finance as well as public trust. Truly comprehensive vaccination would probably require children to be re-vaccinated as adults. Indeed, it may be more expensive to administer the imms in the short term, but in the long term this would save money by saving hospitalisations and meds/care related to complications in both CP and shingles in children and adults. (However, even if there is no net savings, I would still personally believe that the role of the NHS should be to invest in health and preventative medicine, not just to treat the sick.) It's not scare-mongering to offer people information of CP imms, as appears to be the OP's intent by posting information about the South London Travel Clinic in Camberwell. S/he says only that s/he was influenced by his/her personal experience, and offers readers information about cost comparison. Indeed the first comment to be made about the course of the disease was not by someone scare-mongering, but by someone downplaying it. Why not simply give parents the facts, and let them decide for themselves? If the NHS is not routinely going to offer CP/shingles vaccines, it should at least be making people aware of them, imho. While it's wonderful to reasure parents of sick children that CP generally has an uncomplicated course of progression, what we should be telling parents of healthy children (and our vulnerable elderly populations) is that vaccines are available. I can absolutely respect the choice of individuals not to vaccinate, if after having read and understood the risks either way, they decide that it's not something they want to undertake. I find it harded to accept that information about CP/shingles vaccines is not being made widely available to the public through the NHS. Do we want an NHS that runs mainly on a patch-and-repair principle, or do we want an NHS that invests in comprehensive preventative medicine for generations to come? I believe that in order truly to give parents a voice in this, they also need to be given the opportunity of informed choice. Thanks very much to the OP for the information provided. xx

Booked! (and there are still seats left :) )