mrsS

Father-bonding therapy would me GREAT but I don't know where (if) they do such a thing? The more time he spends with my son on his own the better he feels, but its difficult when he works full time and long hours. We are on the waiting list for couples therapy with the Maudsleys, but the waiting list is quite long. He has been back to the GP this week and has now been given a different medication to try, so I hope that makes a difference. I'm going to talk to my HV if there is any support for me, otherwise I will just end up taking my anger and frustration out on my husband which really isn't helping anyone. x

Thank you all who have sent messages and replied to my thread, I will reply to you all when my little one is in bed this evening x

Our son was born 7 months ago and my husband was deeply traumatised by the difficult labour and was diagnosed with post natal depression when our son was four days old. Since then he has been on medication and has therapy every week. Things have improved, he could not even hold our son in first month, but now he has taken him out a few times on his own during the weekends and we have had periods when everything has been ok. At the same time we are getting set backs which is usually triggered by my sons crying and the feeling that he can't fix it. He freaks out and becomes very depressed, says that we would be better of without him. Its a very stressful situation for both of us and I am just so fed up with the constant arguments, and the fact that I can't help him. It's also been hard on me as I he has not been able to give me any emotional support since my son was born. I've felt completely alone with it all. PND is an awful thing to go through as a family and I sometimes feel that it is even harder when it's the dad who got it, as there is no support out there, no one talks about it, and a lot of people don't believe that it can happen as PND is perceived to be caused by hormonal changes. Is there anyone here who's been through it? I would be most grateful for any suggestions, or stories of happy endings....anything, we are getting a bit desperate!

Wow, huge congratulations Sally! Such happy news! Looking forward to meet all of you when you are ready :) The Duck Egg Cafe sounds good to me. I know this is just the beginning but this pregnancy insomnia is really starting to get to me, I seem to not be able to hold down a conversation anymore...how am I going to cope when the real work starts? Anyway, huge congratulations again Sally and looking forward to see some of you on Friday. xx

pommie, I am glad you got help and hope that you will feel better soon, in my experience antidepressants take the worst of depression/anxiety away and allows me to do other things that increases my well being, such as eating right, spending time outside, meeting up with friends, exercising and so on. littlebelka, I am sorry that you felt manipulated but glad that you found different ways to deal with your depression. For some people, including myself and also my sister who had severe depression and post partum psychosis, medication (in my case sertraline) was a lifesaver. I can live with having a dry mouth, which is the only side effect I have experienced, but I can't live a functioning life if I am constantly thinking morbid thoughts and having panic attacks. I've never felt pressured to take medication and I am sorry to hear that you had a different experience.

Jen, I'd be up for that. Weekend or evening both works for me. I can do the 24th of March...

Bambuni on Evelina Road in Nunhead sometimes do a orange and chocolate gluten free cake which is delicious.

I just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who wrote to me on this thread and sent PMs. I have now been taking medication for 11 days and I feel better already, I have started to be able to enjoy the little things in life such as buying baby clothes and enjoying a piece of cake. I sleep better and am able to do things. The future is not looking pitch dark any longer and I have not had a panic attack for at least five days. Thank you so much for all your support, this forum is truly amazing!

Saffron, you are full of knowledge - thank you so much for sharing! I will definitely ask to have those tests. I started sertraline on Thursday morning and I feel a little bit better already. I think just being listened to and given help made me feel a little bit less trapped. I definitely agree with you, sometimes we need help to get better and to get through things. I considered asking for help last year as I was suffering so badly with AWFUL pmt - I would suffer from intrusive OCD-like thoughts two weeks before my period and then feel a 100 times better as soon as my period started. But I just about coped so did not want to start medication. I wonder if a deficiency could be the cause of that. Thank you again for everything Sx

Pickle - oh I might take you up on that. I'm a slow learner though...

I'm also trying to learn how to knit. My husband has taught me the basics, but I need someone 'professional' to teach me how to undo things, as when I make a mistake how to correct it without needing to get rid of several rows! I'll look in to that place in Herne Hill.

Thank you all. It will probably take some time for the medicine to kick in and I feel absolutely terrible in the mornings, but just knowing that it will get better helps, makes me feel less trapped! tomo - thanks for the links, I listened to the radio program and what they talked about felt hugely familiar. I am so glad they have started that charity, I think more awareness needs to be raised.

I was there and saw the victim reporting it to the security guard, also I heard her saying that she wanted to speak to the manager so I would be very surprised if it never got reported to management.

Thank you all. I too hope that the medication will start working soon. Just getting help this morning made things feel a little bit easier. The NHS is brilliant and something I seldom complain about, but when it comes to the mental health side of things some doctors really need more training or change in attitude... Sx

Finally I got help this morning by my lovely GP who has helped me in the past. She asked me a couple of questions and it did not take long at all for her to suggest antidepressants. She was so lovely and emphatic and agreed that I should not have to wait any longer. She also said that I am past the crucial stage so that the medicine will not affect the baby. I'm just waiting for the pharmacy to open now and then I will go to collect the sertraline that she prescribed. Thank you so much ladies for all your wonderful support, knowledge and input. And thank god there are some doctors out there who take these things seriously.