Saffron

I agree that we "need to be careful about how we judge people and especially children". And surely that needs to include both children who do and do not excel at a given subject. Not every child who excels at literacy has been "hot housed". Some children do naturally have an early aptitude for literacy, while others excel at other things. By that same token, it's not about lagging behind or catching up with other children. It's about each child making consistent progress across a range of subjects at a speed and depth to suit that individual child. Nurture your child in the activities in which he or she excels, and use those as a platform for helping him/her to progress in subjects that come less naturally. xx

Well, I can get through a migraine without codeine, but the codeine helps. Same analogy with steroids:eczema. Jus' sayin'. It doesn't really address why you don't want to use them. Is it side effects you're concerned about? xx

I like Aveeno. I t lasts us ages. I think you can even ask for it on prescription if you go through loads. My daughter doesn't have eczema, but her skin is easily irritated, like mine. Also check the labels carefully, and avoid any creams that have SLS/SLeS (sodium lauryl sulphate, or sodium laurth sulphate) or parabens. I was surprised to find that even a lot of creams specifically for eczema and sensitive skin have these ingredients.

Little Saff is currently at St P's Montessori, Waterloo, which is near my work. She loves the Montessori style. It really suits her personality. Unfortunately, they are only a nursery, not primary school. We'll be thinking about making an application to Rose House for 2014-15 Reception year, when she'll be 4yrs. I thought it would be good to start looking early! Mr Saff thinks the Montessori primary school will be prohibitively expensive. As we only have 1 child, I thought we should look anyway. My opinion is that early years education is the most important, so I really want to find what's right for her. Will let everyone know how we get on with the open day.

Does anyone have children at the Rose House Montessori school in Forest Hill? Heard anything about it? Good/bad? I'm booked for their open day-- anyone else going?

Hahahaaaa, not a wind up, just a typo, but very funny all the same! Hand has a mind of its own (you should see what it gets up to without a spellchecker!). I reckon it's the result of idle hands... the Devil's work etc... from now on, just amend "-pipe" to the end of anyone's name when you want to annoy them... ;-) In any event, Cazz, Celia Hammond Animal Trust should have kittens as they've just rescued some locally. Good luck. xx

I agree with El Pipe! Also, Cazz, you can always ask at your local vet's office. One of their clients may have kittens.

Why do you say that you don't want to use steroids? Your daughter was prescribed steroids, for use up to 7 days. You say she was better then relapsed, but you only used them for 3 days. Do you think you were mis-prescribed? That is, do you think you've been given the wrong dose/type of steroid? Steroids are a much misunderstood and much maligned group of drugs. Generally, steroids (corticosteroids) are given to reduce excessive inflammation or to suppress inappropriate immune responses. While it's true that steroids will not treat the root cause eczema, it's also true that there is no cure for eczema. All treatments are symptomatic, working from different angles to treat different symptoms. However, in many cases steroids are appropriate and necessary in order to sufficiently control acute symptoms so that the body may heal itself. Perhaps you need to push for a more certain, or more detailed, explanation of which steroid types/doses could be helpful. There are many, as others have described here. Then be open minded about following the recommendation. A paeds dermatologist with experience of eczema would obvisouly be the best person to consult, but again as others have pointed out, your GP is unlikely to refer you if you haven't at least properly tried the steroids on your daughter first. All that being said, there's nothing to stop you from also trying some wholistic treatments at the same time. I'm thinking childrens reflexology, or childrens yoga to reduce stress maybe? xx

Can you explain what you meant by "proposed through the normal channels"? (I'm not having a dig at you. I'm honestly not sure exactly what you mean. xx)

I thought the new style defibs were meant to be usable by anyone, no special training?

mrs f Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Random point perhaps but perhaps it's not just the > csection policy that needs to be addressed to give > women better birthing experiences? Indeed, mrs f totally agree. In fact, if you read webapages on the new NHS Mandate, they talk explicitely about these issues: http://mandate.dh.gov.uk/pregnant I just hope that all the good words on paper don't get lost in translation when applying the Mandate to real life. It really is about individualising care, IMHO. There are women on both sides of the hospital "issue". Ie, women who would prefer their birth experiences not to be medicalised, and women who would feel safer in a hospital. It's also about recognising that the best laid births plans may need to change dramatically at the last minute to accomodate the dynamic circumstances surrounding labour and birth. I am in favour of improving the current system both to provide more support for women who want home births, but also to ensure that (particularly for first time mothers) women who want to labour in hospital at any stage can do so without being turned away. @Midivydale, as you can see the Mandate includes mental health issues associated with pregnancy and birth. I can imagine for some people that postpartum depression can become part of tokophobia. But even if it doesn't, all of these perinatal issues are important for women's health (and the associated well being of their families). I almost wish I were having another baby, just so I could test-run the changes! In any event, perhaps now is the time to address long-standing issues and ways that our birth experiences were traumatic (or, beneficial). Maybe put it all in a letter and send it to (a) the midwife / labour unit, and/or (b) the Commissioning Board? Hmm will have to give that one some thought. There is an opportunity for change here not to be missed. For some of us, it's too late, but we could be making changes that will affect our daughters (and sons).

Links to the NHS mandate info in this thread: http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?29,998324,998324#msg-998324 (...against the backdrop of Lewisham Hospital Mat services being under threat? Maddness!)

Snowboarder, not off topic at all, I think the topic is pretty wide. I don't even have tokophobia, but I think the topic of peripartum care for women is important for many reasons. It's a missed opportunity if the NHS doesn't make some serious changes under its new mandate. Here's another interesting (well, I think so anyway) article about the different approaches to labour and birth in different communities. In particular this article looks at the low rate of c-section in the Amish community compared to the US population as a whole. Because, as others mention, c-sec is indeed not the only answer, and there are valid reasons why obs in general are trying to reduce the rate of c-secs. http://www.myhealthnewsdaily.com/3259-amish-birthing-reduce-c-section.html

midivydale Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I second this, I still feel very raw about my > birth despite councelling. Midivydale, were you offered counselling through the NHS. Was it specialised, and how long did you have to wait? I ask b/c I had a straightforward natural birth with my daughter, but suffered severe postpartum depression to the point of having suicidal ideations. I was told the wait for NHS counselling was 14 weeks, and it would be general counselling, not even specialised for postpartum issues. As shocking as that sounds, I have recently learned that even in the case of traumatic births (including perinatal death of the infant), counselling may not be available for up to 6 months! > I so wish that I had > been informed beforehand and I too would have > jumped on the chance of a c-section and paid > privately if that had been an option. > I cant contemplate a number two as I am not able > to get past the thoughts of the birth. > > I went into labour with a lavender spray and > hypnocd and came out a deeply traumatised woman. > It makes me teary even writing this 9 mnths on. > I felt angry and let down by the 'sisterhood' as i > felt someone should have told me how awful it can > be. But then before you go through it, it is just > words isnt it. Its the same with sleepdeprivation, > until you are there it is just a word. > > I was in kings for a nearly a week with high blood > pressure and no one made the connection that it > could have been related to the stress i felt after > the birth. > Lavenderspray?!?! > > I know mine was what is described as a birth with > "complications" but I am angry that there is this > propoganda that a "natural birh" is always > better. > Natural? There was nothing natural about it, i was > savaged and still violated. > Of course natural births are only better if they're uncomplicated. As complicated natural births can lead to lots of medical intervention, including c-section, the argument almost becomes circular at this point. > Oh dear- i am sorry for rambling. It makes me sad > that i wasnt prepared for the trauma, feelings and > painful recovery as i had been told that it all > passes as soon as you have your baby. > > I had a highly unrealistic view of water, > breathing and lavenderspray, followed by this rush > of the deepest love i had ever felt. > No no no no no. None of the above > > Oh dear i am rambling again. I just feel very raw > about it. > Can you insist on a c-section for your second. Everyone wants an uncomplicated pregnancy from start to finish, but that's not going to be a reality for everyone. It seems to me that one of the problems with pregnancy and birth is assessment of risk, particularly in first time pregnancies. Improving risk assessment (including accounting for mental factors such as tokophobia) in pregnancy would lead to better outcomes overall, IMHO. Indeed recent research of specific risk assessment associated with perinatal deaths has resulted in a significant fall in perinatal deaths in the study group. Surely if this type of intensive risk assessment, and risk assessment training, were applied to other outcomes of pregnancy and birth, improvements could be made. With the NHS's recent mandate to provide better perinatal care, I hope that we'll start to see improvements. But at the same time the cynic in me wonders if it will take more grassroots pressure to get it moving?

Saila Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I was never offered a c-section first time around. > If it was affordable privately, I would have > jumped at it. > > I have had lots of support this time around and > have been through my experience at length with > senior ppl at kings who agree it was a dreadful > experience. > > If I had my time again, there would be no contest > - > I'm genuinely envious of those who get c-sections > > ETA: I was told at the time that you had to have a > medical reason to get a c-section. Oh no, that's awful! Actually tokophobia IS a medical reason, the medical establishment has just been slow to recognise it.

If there's a lingering question of negligence, I can see why the deceased's husband feels a public inquiry is needed. Otherwise, it looks like a case of no one 'policing the police', if you see what I mean. However, I was surprised to discover recently that even in the case of negligence/suspected negligence in British hospitals, an external review is not always conducted. Surely there should always be a transparent and externalised review process?

Saila, were you offered a chance to review your experience with the midwife or labour team the first time around? Did you ask for a c-section, and were turned down? What other support were you offered?

It seems to me that there is a (false) sense of saving money or services by trying to shoehorn women into a one-size-fits all experience for labour and birth. In contrast, I think the stress caused by not providing adequate support, especially to first time mothers, could well result in poor birth outcomes leading to less cost-effective outcomes overall. Surely giving women more control, in the form of more choice, would not be more expensive than treating women for poor birthing outcomes resulting from distress in labour and birth.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-20348463

and here...http://www.dr-beckmann.co.uk/how-to-remove-stains/

Argh, paint. This can be a tricky stain. I've had a few things stained with childrens paints that were supposed to be "washable" paints! This looks promising but haven't tried it myself: http://www.dr-beckmann.co.uk/products/stain-removal-products/stain-devils-kids-stains-kit/ . In general Stain Devils/Dr Beckmann makes good products. Check the fabric. It it natural or synthetic? If it a natural fibre, try a little bit of white spirits. Synthetic fibres could be damaged by white spirits, so check in a hidden area first. If the fabric is delicate or synthetic, try soaking it in concentrated fabric conditioner and rubbing gently. Rinse the fabric and hand wash it with thoroughly with washing up liquid. Rinse and repeat. Good luck. xx

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-20405702 So then, what do people think are the pros/cons of HSE inquiry versus a public inquiry?

Dudley Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > 2) Further, you seem to think I have missed the > fact that Savita Halappanavar died (you type dead > in capital letters). Believe me I have not. There > is little else I have thought about since the > story broke. (It was for general emphasis within the context of the debate, not specifically about YOU.) > I am wondering however, if your outrage was as > strong when 5 women died in 18 months at Barking > Havering and Redbridge Hospitals NHS Trust. > http://maternitymatters.net/fifth-mother-dies-at-w > orst-maternity-unit-in-the-country-as-sister-blast > s-doctors-for-delaying-treatment/ > In fact this report from the Care Quality > Commission makes for sobering reading: > http://www.cqc.org.uk/sites/default/files/media/do > cuments/20111026_bhrut_investigation_report_final_ > 0.pdf > In particular pages 19-20 make clear that staff > are not just negligent but abusive. > Please don't assume emotions for me. I have never used the word "outrage" in this thread. (Geez, for someone who doesn't want people to leap to assumptions, you make a lot of assumptions and implications about other people.) And, as I stated previously, negligence/mismanagement happens everywhere, and it is no less tragic by location. But this case in Ireland does not appear to be purely about negligence. It also appears to be about religious belief influencing politics in such a way that good medical judgement is overriden by poor legislation.

Dudley Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > 1) Saffron, if you are under the impression that > Britain?s wide availability to abortion makes it a > safer place to have a child than Ireland then you > are wrong. No, I'm under the impression that Britain's wide availability to abortion makes it a better place to have an abortion!

Judgement errors and medical mismanagement do happen everywhere. However, the interpretation of Irish law within the practice of medicine seems to me to leave much more room for errors and mismanagement in the case of abortion law than does the British law. In that sense the thread's title is justified.