Saffron

Sometimes humour helps. Times are tough, austerity and all... introduce a swearbox, ?2 per swear. Offer her your bank details for direct transfer if she doesn't have cash on the day. ;-) After you've both had a laugh, you can tell her "Seriously please stop swearing in front of my child b/c it's upsetting me even though we are friends." There really is no reason not to be honest with her.

I thought these looked cool, but we couldn't have one at the moment b/c we're in a rubbish rental property. http://sunkentrampolines.co.uk/ I think the decking option looks nice, if/when we buy our own place. Would also love to hear anyone's experience with these.

He's gone totally nicotine free with the Champix route. He hasn't had a cigarette in about 5 weeks, which is fab. It's mainly as Mrs TP and theasidonio say, the bad moods are an issue. He says the evening Champix gives him insomnia, but the nurse only said take Nytol which doesn't do much. I feel like he should go back and talk to a GP about it. I think a short course of Ambien (zolpidem) would make a big difference. As it is now, he doesn't sleep well, has a hard day a work, and is in a profoundly bad mood most evenings. It's starting to affect me and Little Saff, which isn't fair or right. Wondered if anyone else had sleep issues with Champix?

You might try a ring sling. Look for a ring sling with and open tail (the bit of fabric that hangs through the ring). Also, if your baby is still small avoid ring slings with padded sides. Padded sides are really to provide additional support for older babies and may get in the way of you being able to position your infant correctly for breasfeeding. Don't try to test run the sling when you need to feed or get out the door in 5 min! It may take a few goes to get your little one comfy and in a good position. My daughter was very long, and I still managed to feed her in a ring sling. I think there is a sling library where you can try different styles. I don't have the details, but I'm sure another Forumite will. Good luck :)

You probably have to accept that she is not going to change her behaviour. We all have different ideas about ourselves and raising children. Her child is growing up exposed to this, so it will have some effect on her child's attitudes and behaviour eventually too. If you truly don't approve of it, ask yourself why you and your own child are benefitting from playdates? Maybe you aren't. If there are other reasons you value a friendship with the mother or her child, then perhaps having playdates only in public places like playgrounds would help. If the language or topic goes out of bounds, catch the eye of another parent for assurance and just say in a friendly tone, "I think we shouldn't swear/talk about x around the kids." Then have another topic quickly to hand to talk about. Like, "Hey did you see that Thread on the ED Forum about...?" Or, "Can you believe the price children's shoes these day?" Coincidentally, I have the reverse problem with a friend and her child. She is madly conservative about all kinds of weird things (to my opinion anyway). Mostly it centres around food, so we avoid meal times at playdates.

Sorry, Ruth, no advice but lots of sympathy. Little Saff is just the same with naps, all very irregular now. I've tried going to no nap, but it has always backfired. Either she naps too late in the day, and is awake until late. Or, I put her down to bed early, and she wakes up in the night/early morning. Arrgh. I hope it passes soon.

He is also using Champix. He was not a heavy smoker, but he had been smoking from a very early age... about 10 years old! Naughty little sausage used to steal cigarettes off his older brother. Yes, it's his bad moods / mood swings that are really difficult, esp'y in the evenings when everything seems to pile up on me: dinner, dishes, toddler bath & bed time, and general tiredness. I'm not good at taking the brunt of a bad mood. I tend to be quite reactionary which doesn't help. (Plus he's normally such a chilled and nice person, I have trouble reconciling it all in my head. It's like Jekyll and Hyde round here now.) I think the best thing would be if I could leave the house for a while in the evening, but that is not so easy with a toddler in tow! I may need totally to rethink our evening routines.

Does anyone have a partner who is quitting smoking? I've never been a smoker. Hubbie has smoked since he was knee high to an ant. He's quit a few times in the past. This is his 2nd try since we had our daughter 2+ years ago. I'm finding it really stressful. Just wondered if anyone else had been in the same situation and how you coped?

Wow, sooo that's frustrating. We used to be with this surgery, and I hated it. Receptionists were rude. HVs and doctors gave us incorrect medical advice, and the waiting times were ridculous. We changed GPs when we moved to SE4. However, I thought NHS guidelines had changed in recent years, to relax the rules on catchment areas?

Well, don't feel bad! Genes are the main determinant of stretch marks, and there isn't much preventatively you can do. I thought I "got away with it" too, but ended up with some marks below the navel in about the last week of pregnancy. They looked awful for about 6 months, then seemed to dramatically improve on their own. Hubbie, bless 'im, was very kind about it all and always maintained he could hardly seem them. Various preps of vitamins E and A (topically or orally) are touted as improving stretch marks, though results can vary greatly of course. Have you thought about using scar therapy sheeting, like silicon scar sheets, if your marks are very "angry" looking? When the redness fades, there are threatments like IPL and pixel laser which encourage the growth of new collagen from deep within the skin. I've had both IPL and pixel on my face for acne scarring and sun damage. There is also a new-ish treatment called dermaroller which is meant to be very good for scarring, much cheaper than IPL or pixel. I'd love to know if anyone has had dermaroller treatment, and what the results were like? Just vanity, I know, but I'd love it if the marks would tighten up a bit. The skin in that area is still much squishier, even though the marks themselves are hardly visible.

After having read several excerpts from her gender book, and looked at her personal history, I thought Cordelia Fine's book was a thinly veiled lament over the resentment she felt in her own childhood at having been subjected to unfair stereotypes. She is quite simply wrong when she says, "there is no convincing evidence that our brains are hardwired according to gender". Her assumptions are illogical and incomplete.

cashewnut Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I love that film! Great soundtrack too. > > Saffron can the differences you mention explain > differences in behaviour or are they physical? > > Yes physical differences in the brain do translate to differences in behaviour, eg due to differences in brain centres for language processing, spatial awareness, etc. Male and female brains are hardwired differently, and the differences do translate to behavioural differences. However, here again we probably find the lines between actual differences and societal notions are blurred, because probably some of what we think of as differences are really just our different responses to boys v girls as per social norms. Personally, instead of seeing the differences between the sexes as "weaknesses" in one or the other, I think we should celebrate the differences. Just take a physical example. Men have a lot of upper body strength, whereas women have a lot of endurance. The world record for deadlifing is held by a man (Benedikt Magnusson). It will probably always be held by a man. However, the notoriously difficult and physically challenging Badminton Horse Trial has been won the most times by a woman (Lucinda Green), and a woman also won it three times in a row (Sheila Wilcox). Sadly some differences do disadvantage women. For example, negative marking on multiple choice tests disadvantages girls b/c of innate differences in risk-taking and test strategy. It's a real shame that some top level UK universities are still emplying negative marking on multiple choice tests.

Not not at all. Maybe wiki not the best summary... I thought the film was a touching message about accepting children for who they are without needing to put our own conformisn on them one way or another... re boys being dressed as fairies vs girls dressed as pirates.

oimissus Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > is this something that people only worry about > with concern to girls - do parents of sons worry > that they might end up being testosterone-fuelled, > uber-blokey rugger-buggers (mmm, nice) if they > play with too many diggers and wear too much navy > blue? > > Seriously, I think it's your own personal > influence that matters most. Really, it shouldn't > matter if your daughter wants to play princesses > all the time when she's 3, doesn't mean she can't > become a doctor, lawyer or brain surgeon. Or a > nurse, hairdresser or beautician, if that's what > she wants. > > I actually think that stereotypes have broken down > far more for girls than boys, and it's easier for > them in a way - if they want to go to a fancy > dress party as a pirate, no-one would comment, but > a boy going as a fairy would raise a few eyebrows > I bet, and not just amongst the older generation > either. Did you see that brilliant Belgian film (1997) "Ma Vie en Rose"? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ma_vie_en_rose

Yes, that's quite true, re black/white. I've often found it curious that our blackout blind makes the room so much cooler. I think it is to some degree the insulating quality of the fabric itself helping to keep the room cool.

Yes, our cat must have been chipped around that age. Even though we were keeping her indoors initially, there was always a high possibility that she could escape. We have an older cat who goes in/out all the time, plus me, baby, buggy trying to go in/out. So I'm glad she was chipped early, though it's nice that you offer it under GA during neutering.

As soon as the gametes unite into a fertilised egg, there are identifiable differences between male and female that continue throughout the lifetime. Basically, men and women are different, and these differences begin at conception. However, these actual, measurable differences do get mixed up with societal beliefs, which is unfortunate. Instead of avoiding any particular stereotype, why not offer a range of options to your children and let them choose how they want to express themselves. It might be "pinky girly", or it might not.

catwoman Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Hi Saffron, I'm just interested....are you a > breeder? If so of what sort? Always good to know > folks that I can recommend.... I'll PM you with some more info about how/why we have kittens. I'm happy to PM anyone who wants more info. Jenjeroo, why do you not microchip before 5 months? Have you found that the chips tend to migrate in younger animals? The kitten we adopted 2.5 years ago was microchipped around 10 weeks old, and we were very happy with that.

hellosailor Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > my partner bought a (several > hundred pound...*pales* ) air conditioner unit > from homebase on the way home from work Big cheers for your partner! :) > ...funnily enough we have exactly the same > arrangement as you - blackout lining that I can > velcro up to the window, but this definitely makes > the room way hotter, baffled as to why everyone > else is finding it makes the room cooler, I wish > it did in her room!! It might be the material of which the blackout blind is made. Have you tried putting up a layer of aluminium foil, then the blackout blind? Loft conversions are brilliant, but they do need special insulation and for the air to circulate properly. I only partially agree that heatwaves never last. Summer 2003, anyone????!!! I think your cooling unit was a good investment for your bubba. xxx

I was at Wavelengths Deptford not too long ago. I understood that water chutes were closed for repair. Significant repair works were undertaken this past winter. I don't know if they are open yet, or if they are now affected by staff cuts. The Wavelengths pool does have a wavemachine and bubble fountains, plus a very shallow area for youngsters. (And water not as cold as ED pool.) There is a 25m pool for lane swims in addition to the leisure pool, no?

Nah. We've all done similar! I had a "Pink & Pretty" Barbie that I loved when I was 7 yo. We turned the house upside looking for her for a week. My mother thought I must have left her at the shop or school, but I was sure I'd never taken her out. After a week of looking, my lovely mother bought me a brand new Pink & Pretty Barbie... and directly after returning from the toyshop we spotted the old one on a bookshelf behind a door. It was hilarious!! I still got to keep the new barbie, and my mother and I still laugh about it to this day.

Loz Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Saffron Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > I'm hoping someone will adapt the kangaroo > digestive model to farty husbands. > > Are you saying you never succumb to the odd > trouser burp, Saffron? > > She who smelt it... Not at all. However, I've never cleared a room with my gas, unlike DH. I'm now training our toddler to point at him and say, "Daddy Farted!" whenever anyone farts. Strange but true! ;-)

Made it out today -- hurray! Went to the new children's shoe shop on Brockley Road, called Gently Elephant. http://brockleycentral.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/gently-elephant-opens-today.html I found some soft soled maryjane style shoes for my daughter that don't hurt her cut when she walks. We opted for grassy areas in our local park and stayed out of the sandpit. So I think we're not doing too badly with her foot. However, the dreadlocks building up from no bath/hairwashing are our next hurdle to tackle. Husband suggested I hold her upside down and dip her in the toilet, but I had to admit that my back is not up to it. ;-)

Heat "rejection" window film... is that the one? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Window_film from Google: http://www.rabaker.co.uk/ultra_vision70.htm http://www.abodewindowfilms.co.uk/acatalog/Heat_Glare_Window_Film.html Does anyone know who our local glass merchant are that might do this kind of window treatment?

As others have mentioned, children around the world do sleep in a variety of temperatures, including very hot temps. However, it should be kept in mind that these children were born into their environments and have been adjusting since birth. It cannot be expected that an infant or small child that has been until very recently only acclimatised to cooler temperatures to suddenly safely tolerate long periods of heat. Keeping the loft hatch open will only help if air can fully circulate up and out of the window, creatig a passive cooling effect on the house as a whole. Were the fans angled simply at the cot, or were they also moving air through the room? Simply moving hot air around w/out directing up and out will not effectively cool the room. Try opening the window fully in the morning with a fan to move air up and out. Shut the window in the afternoon if it received direct rays of the sun. A blackout blind will help considerably, even the cheapy suckercup kind. A reflective film on the window will redirect the light/heat outward. However, it sounds like the room may need some additional cooling. Have you looked for a small cooling unit somewhere like Home Base? Children are definitely as risk of dehydration and heat exhaustion when the ambient temp spikes. But even if she could sleep safely, it doesn't sound like she could sleep comfortably. Just like adults, some individual children will be better/worse at tolerating hot/cold. I totally agree that she should sleep only in nappy, as it sounds like she doesn't tolerate the heat well at all, and I don't think we're forecast any significant rain till middle of next week.