Saffron

We have a lot of pyjamas that can double as daywear, eg cotton jersey knit tops and bottoms. If we need to leave the house quickly in the morning, then I don't bother with a fullscale change if it looks like a tantrum will follow. I'll just pop a pinafore-type dress over the pyjamas, then a coat. For a boy you could use a wooly vest or a nice shirt instead of a dress. If we're going out later in the day, then I change Little Saff an article of clothing here and there throughout the morning. She doesn't seem to mind that as much as fussing with everything all in one go. I'm not sure what you can do to avoid tantrums with your LO, b/c it's not clear why they occur. One thing that's common to all tantrums though, is an element of anger. This is often caused by frustration or tiredness. If you can resolve or divert this, then you can avoid the tantrum. Otherwise, once you've passed the "point of no return" and a tantrum is imminent, it's often quickest to let the child's anger pass without excessively interfering. Once the anger has passed and the sad phase of the tantrum starts, you can swoop in with cuddles and a bit a bargaining to speed a happy recovery. Could your LO be on the cusp of a big developmental leap in speech? One main source of frustration for toddlers is language. In this case, learning a few key sign language words could ease the transition and lessen your LO's frustration. Some children just don't transition well from one activity to another. If your effort in dressing your LO is interrupting another activity, that interruption might be causing the tantrums. Look for natural breaks between activities to dress your toddler, or dress him/her first thing in the morning before you're out of the nursery. My daughter is now 27 mo and doesn't mind getting dressed so much. She likes to help more with her clothes too. Maybe it all gets easier with age (probably until they are teenagers at least!). xx

Is the party mixed sexes, or girls only?

Volunteering is a great thing to do. I fear, however, a lot of mothers who are looking for work are doing so because they can't financially afford to stay at home. Volunteering simply wouldn't be an option that many mothers could take due to the costs of child care. What then? It's such a difficult time economically for many families. We are definitely feeling the crunch in our household. If I don't find a grant in my research field soon, I'll be forced to look further afield. It's pretty painful that employers might see that as a foot in the door approach. Ouch! Tough times.

That was not the case at the session which I attended. I was the "straightforward" birth story, while one of the other women was sharing the story of her prolonged and failed induction which ended in an emergency C-sec. It might depend on which midwife is leading the group, or how long ago the birth occured, as to if they think the experience is appropriate for the group? I hope women with difficult or traumatic births aren't put off sharing their experiences, and that other women aren't afraid of hearing about them. There's little worse than feeling isolated by a bad experience. My personal experience has also been that hearing about other women's real life experiences, both positive and negative, helped me better prepare for the birth of my own daughter, and better adjust throughout and following the birth. xx

Worth checking with universities as well. I've frequently found that universities are more understanding and flexible about child-related issues. Eg, the PA for my Head of Dept at King's Col has 2 school-aged children, and she works from home 1 day/wk. Good luck! :)

pebbles Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I had home water births with both of mine. I > bought the pool because had been warned that when > using the community midwives there was always the > chance that it might not be available and I didn't > want that to happen. Yes, that's what happened to me! My labour progressed so quickly that no pools were available. (Poor bloke whose wife had the pool called to say that we could have it, as his wife's labour had stalled, but my daughter had been born already 20 min before he rang our midwife!) Although, I don't know if I could have gotten in a pool anyway b/c I didn't want to give up the TENS machine. My husband kept trying to get me in a warm bath, but he couldn't convince me to take off the TENS. I think it would have helped though. I had a warm bath at the start of labour, and it was very soothing. I think we'd hire a pool if I had to do it again. Maybe a pool would have been more appealing than a bath, b/c a pool is a lot roomier. If I were definitely having a birthing pool, I'd want to have a doula too - extra help with pool etc.

When I had my daughter with Oakwook Midwives, I was invited along with a couple of other mums to share my pregnancy and birth experience with a group of expectant mothers. The group was led by one of the midwives. B/c the group is facilitated by a midwife, if there are unanswered medical questions about the birth, the midwife can help discuss this. Might be worth finding out if there is a midwife facilitated group you can attend?

Hi bee74, really pleased to hear that you're well in yourself. I only mentioned postpartum depression as many women are unaware that it can manifest mainly as physiological symptoms, in contrast to other forms of depression. And, even for women without postpartum depression, treating sleep problems early can prevent depression from developing, as sleep deprivation in itself can lead to depression. Yes, definitely give acupuncture a try. Giles Davies has an office at 15a Barry Road (07739 414 210). Ella Keepax is also very good ([email protected]).

bee74 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > gp today prescribed zopiclone which she wants me > to take for 5 nights in a row, but said i can's > use it while breastfeedign and not sure i can go 5 > days without breastfeeding the baby esp since she > has reflux and formula is not ideal. I think you need to speak so someone who is more familiar with the pharmacokinetics of this drug. Surely you wouldn't have to stop b/fing for 5 days??? You should just be able to pump-and-dump the feed you would normally do after you take the tablet, no? The drug does not remain in appreciable amounts in your system for more than a few hours after taking it. I think it has a half-life around 3 hours. Also, did your GP do a general blood screen? Insomnia can have other physiological reasons, eg thyroid etc. Plus, keep an open mind about diagnosis and treatment. Profound insomnia is a symptom of postpartum depression. Sometimes it may be the only obvious symptom, in which case it would be better to use an antidepressnt like certraline (safe for b/fing) and/or some type of therapy (CBT etc). I've not personally found that most GPs are really knowledgable of these issues. However, many GPs are willing to work with you on different treatment strategies if you talk to them about it. In the meantime, have you thought about acupunture? Giles Davies on Barry Road is excellent, as is Ella Keepax who practices out of Harley St. Hope you find some relief and good sleep soon. xx

Hi did you try goat's milk or buffalo's milk (sainos sells both) instead of cow's milk or formula? They are meant to be easier to digest. My daughter still has bottles at 27 months old. (And, yes, she still has one in the night sometimes too, usu during a growth spurt.) She has always hated any type of sippy cup. I think it has to do with the shape of her hard palate. She has a very high arched palate, which probably makes sippy cups uncomfortable for drinking (never really liked soothers either). I've been diluting her milk for months. She now has something like 70:30 (water:milk) in most bottles. Mostly she just likes a warm bottle to hold. Well, I like a warm cup to hold, so like mother like daughter I guess. I think recommended toddler intake is between 12-24 oz/day, depending on size, growth spurts etc. If you're concerned about the quantity of milk, just do a slow fade until you're happy with total intake maybe?

I don't have any pain, so I'm hoping that it's just the threads that have shifted. However, I read that a displaced IUD is sometimes symptomless. It's good to know the extra time didn't make any difference to the displacement of the IUD. I guess that's what really worries me. I was nulliparous when I had my first IUD fitted and later removed b/c it had reached the end of it's shelf life. I thought having it fitted and removed was rather painful. Physician at the time said this was likely attributable to my never having had a child. I didn't think having a new one fitted 6 wks postpartum was too uncomfortable. Yes, slightly worrying that you found removal of the displaced IUD so painful. I will be sure to ask about pain relief prior to removal. I think I might have to have some anxiolytics too, as the situation seems to be winding me up, even though rationally I can beleive it will be fine. Maybe it's a caveat to others who have an IUD fitted soon after giving birth? I think the GP should have left my threads longer, b/c the shape and position of the cervix can change a lot over time postpartum. I think initially when she cut them they seemed ok. Things have moved around a bit since then!

Disclaimer: thread not for the squeamish! ;-) Anyone had a displaced IUD? I noticed two days ago that I couldn't feel the threads on my IUD. The threads have been cut very short, and it's normal for them to be quite difficult to feel just before my period starts, due to normal changes in the cervix at that time. My period started last night, and at first it was fine. Today it's been very heavy, lots of clotting, changing tampons 2-4 hourly instead of normal 6 hourly. I can't help but think that's a worrying coincidence. I spoke to NHS direct who said I should rest, drink plenty of fluid, and see the GP in the morning. The nurse said if I find that I need to change tampons hourly for more than 6 hours, then I should go to the A&E. So, the tentative verdict is a displaced IUD. Even when I see my GP tomorrow though, she still won't be able to do anything about removing the coil until my bleeding has subsided. I hate being in a grey zone of not really knowing what's wrong! I'm wondering if anyone else has had a displaced or suspected displaced IUD?

OSW your point about Vit D and the recent use of sunscreens, covering up etc is very salient in my mind. We're very fair-skinned and are always very sun cautious. An adult friend of mine was recently told that b/c she needs to use so much sun protection during the summer for fair skin, there is little chance that she has ability to store enough Vit D to last through the winter. Her Vit D is so chronically low that her GP and her dietitian have recommended supplements, as they felt it would be difficult to assure her vit D was high enough through diet. Sunbob, interested in the Vit drops you got from HV! I will ask our HV too at our 2yr check this week. I try not to obsess about nutrition, but I guess there are a few times when our bodies can use some help. xx

edanna Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Pickle, your HV was just repeating government > advice. Although it may seem dispiriting it's true > that we can be absolutely sure how much vit D is > in formula and we can't with breast milk. That > doesn't mean anyone is saying breast milk isn't as > good and I certainly don't want to get into that > debate! But advice has to be formulated on a > population basis so if many women don't have > enough vit D then their breast milk won't contain > alot, so supplements are reasonable advice. OK, but, surely the advice should be to supplement the mother, as Vit D complexes in breastmilk would be more readily absorbed than extraneously delivered Vit D to the infant??? Also, I still think Pickle's HV was wrong to compare b/fing to formula. If supplementation is needed, it is not b/c there is a comparison to be draw to formula. Actually, breastmilk from a healthy mother is the standard to which all other infant feeding formulas should be compared. If supplements or dietary changes are thought beneficial, it should be as a way to maximise the benefit derived from a healthy, normal breastfeeding dyad, not as a comparison to formulated milks.

Lewisham PBP has an interesting take on social housing problems, including occupying derelict council housing that is up for sale, and using trainees and volunteers to bring the houses up to acceptable living standards. Read more about their efforts here: http://www.peoplebeforeprofit.org.uk/lewisham/lewisham-pbp-news/237-london-a-quadrant-tries-to-sell-off-flats and here: http://www.peoplebeforeprofit.org.uk/lewisham/lewisham-pbp-news/100-lewisham-pbp-news-9

Liz Taylor's famous diamond ring was cleaned in vodka!? Well, depending on whose advice you take, this either is or isn't a good use of vodka. Ah, but then her ring was a platinum setting, no? Hmm, we should all be so lucky!!

I thought it was interesting that the BBC article chose to emphasize the homebirth aspect (hence the title), but that the research itself emphasized also the importance of midwife-led birthing units. It seemed to me that the BBC article was fishing for an eye-catching or contraversial headline, a bit at the expense of emphasizing the importance of midwife-led units (or the lack thereof).

My daughter (27 mo) goes to bed at 9:30! Some children really do need less sleep than others, but if you had a routine that was working then it's probably worth having a crack at it again, perhaps with some small variations. Maybe a combination of reducing naptime and moving the bedtime back 1/2h? Some children start to need less sleep as they transition from toddler to child. I do bedtimes on my own too, so I feel your pain!

That's outrageous! And sooo annoying. When health providers give wrong/bad advice, it always makes me feel that it then undermines their good advice b/c I'm inclined to be a skeptic about everything. I had a nurse tell me that I should stop b/fing when my daughter's teeth erupted, b/c she (wrongly) thought breastmilk causes dental caries. I think supplements are a bit of a waste if your diet is good, but at the same time, if it puts your mind at ease, then I can understand why people use them, eg vitamin D deficiency is a big concern for many people at high latitudes. Plus, some children seem to be more fussy about food anyway. I give my daughter Bassetts occasionally, but I don't worry about it if she doesn't have one for a while either. I think the BLW weaning book has info on dietary sources of vitamins/minerals in the back pages. I also found Alex Richardson's book "They Are What You Feed Them" to be really easy to read and not patronising of parents. It has advice and information on a wide-variety of food and supplement-related issues with diet.

I would keep going with the antibiotics a few more days and see how it goes, provided you're not unwell in yourself, no high fever etc. You could try reinstating the old feeds, or different feeds, or expressing milk, but you might end up with the same problem again. It's incredibly bad luck, but some ladies do seem more prone to mastitis. If you've chosen a feeding plan that works for you, give yourself and Baby some time to adjust. Hope it gets better soon. xx

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-17769929 BMJ here: http://www.bmj.com/content/344/bmj.e2292

Hi GinaG3, hope you've found some lovely playdates. Would your little one (or any other Family Roomers?) like to make a playdate to come visit our newborn kittens? Mother cat is very good with toddlers. She's currently nesting on the fouton in our toddler's room! Please PM me. xx

There is also a jewellery shop on LL, not far from Iceland I think. I can't remember what the shop is called... maybe Nina Christie? I remember that the woman there is also very nice but tres cher, but that might have been skewed by the price of gold being really high at the time I was there. Or, enquire at the jewellery market in the ED warehouse on Zenoria Street (behind cafe Nero). They probably don't do replating themselves, but they might be able to give you some recommendations. If nothing else Hubbie can come back with something new and sparkly to cheer you off the deathbed. xx

Check with the silversmith Lisa Moss, in the North Cross market tomorrow morning. If the rings only need cleaning, but you're uncertain about doing it yourself, possibly she can advise. She is very nice, and made an excellent repair to a bracelet of mine a couple of years ago. I don't know if she does replating, but she might know someone who does. I find her prices all quite reasonable too.

You'll only need replating if your ring is indeed rhodium plated. My engagement ring is white gold, and it is not plated. The "white" colouration is achieved by adding another metal(s), eg palladium, manganese or silver. Older rings were rarely plated, but modern rings are often plated. Rhodium gives diamonds a kind of dazzling white setting that is not acheived by white gold. White gold gives a softer glow to diamonds. Depending on whose advice you take, you either should or shouldn't clean your gold jewellery with toothpaste. Some people say toothpaste is too abrasive. I have cleaned gold jewellery with toothpaste, only very infrequently and with a tiny amount of paste. However, if you're jewellery was plated, you'll have to have it replated anyway if you want to restore the original look of the rhodium.