let-them-eat-cake

I know someone who coped with contractions by madly singing 'Happy Birthday DEAR BABY' for about 5 hours.....I still feel pity for her birth partner and everyone else involved........

Hmmmm....how about not focusing on the wheelchair, the 'difference' and treating him like you'd treat anyone else you didn't know? What I mean is (not ignore them!!) but ask if they're ok (if that feels appropriate) and if they say that they are, respect it. There's nothing worse than telling someone you're ok and then having them keep bloomin' asking!!

Don't know what babies would think of it, but try this! http://www.ocado.com/webshop/recipe/baked-sharon-fruit-with-ratafia-crumbs/1372

browning

Phew. Thank you annaj.

............. yes. And if the baby lives (well done to all those involved yet again....) then it would not be labelled as a stillbirth. No arguments with the stuff from WHO......just about we would then refer to that particular baby! Pancakes this morning.....

I think Saila is probably right and this thread sould be left....but, whilst I thank everyone for extra definitions, links to the prad-nic post (yup, it needs a hyphen)I think the registering of a baby makes sense of it all. You can register a live birth or a stillbirth. Not both for one baby. If a baby is born (as Fuschia said) apparently (and I think the word apparently is important here) stillborn and then resuscitated, he/she wouldn't be called a stillbirth and would be registered as a live birth. Looking at the old thread, Linzkg's experience sounds horrible and again, I have to say how impressed I so often am by midwives, doctors, paramedics etc......thank god for their skills. That's it for me on this thread.....I hope the site of my name on others won't put people off! Baking for the weekend now.....Cakey for Haiti went well, so I guess I can forgive the shameful cake sale name!

Thank you sillywoman.....it's kind of you to post about your thoughts too.....perhaps it's a little pedantic of me (although I don't think so), but this really worried me. Smiler....I agree about everyone using personal experience and that it is subjective. But accuracy?...well, I think it's important. Fuschia....yes, there are so many sad stories....it's not something I've personally been through, but have been on the 'outskirts' of, if that makes sense. So.....sorry again if I've offended anyone and thank you to those who have seen this in the way that it was meant.

The thread was way before my time (but I found some of it when I looked up pradanic this morning).....it doesn't change my point of view and doesn't resolve my concerns....but hey. as for the baking....maybe (or eating the ones that didn't turn out so well!!)

After a hard night baking for my daughter's school (second wave of help for Haiti, called, would you believe, 'Cakey for Haiti'), I logged in to see what a mess I've made of trying to discuss my worries. I feel like a bit of an idiot (obviously one with shocking social skills who will probably now be shunned.....) I don't understand most of the acronyms that the Nappy lady used and I don't get the wikipedia bit either....and I don't know who pradanic is. But I did a search and found her..... So, yup, I'll just spit it out...sorry if everyone's been worrying about their posts and yes, I should've sent a pm to the person, but now I'll have to come out of the closet with it. I think pradanic (who I guess I'll be joining in the EDF blacklist??) was talking about the same thing. And it's interesting that a couple of people think they know what I meant. Linzkg's story sounds awful....one of those labour/delivery stories that makes you thank god for your own experiences.....but her baby wasn't a stillbirth. Thank goodness. A still birth and a baby who can be resuscitated are mutually exclusive. Her baby was obviously born in an awful condition (I think 'a flat baby') and was resuscitated....it sounds like the midwives/ambulance staff did a fantastic job. I won't give you a load of stillbirth/stillborn references....no point, you can all research things beautifully going on past performances.....google will give you a long list. My worry is twofold. - that someone who is pregnant will go into hospital and expect a miracle, that if their baby (god forbid) is stillborn, it'll be resuscitated. It won't. - that someone reading this will have had a stillbirth in the past, will read this and wonder....'what about my baby? Why wasn't she resuscitated?' That's the one that's really preying on my mind.....so awful. So my apologies.....I went about it clumsily, but with good intentions (yes, I know the good intentions quote too). I just think that this forum is so full of information that we (you) all have a sort of duty to try and get it right - yes, to use our experiences and thoughts, but to take care too. I'll shut up now. No baking left to do either.

Fuschia....of course experience is personal. But what if someone's interpretation is wrong? anyway......tea now I think.

Thanks Saila, but she will be upset.....it's rather personal and I think it's something 'everyone' on here knows about. I don't want to upset her, really, truly, but I think she would be horrified if I try and explain what I mean....... But I hate the thought of someone looking on here and having false hope or looking at something in their past and wishing that they could've had a better outcome. i don't know.....maybe i should just try and ignore it.

I'm just obsessing about something I've read in another post which I know is misleading. But it's a really sensitive subject and I'm sure me basically saying that it's not quite right will upset the person....and many others....enormously. Maybe I just have to bite my tongue....BUT it's upsetting me and the more I think about it, the more upset I am at the thought of someone reading about it and thinking that it will happen for them too....and it can't! Or someone may read it who has had this thing happen and will want to know why her experience didn't work out in the same way!! Arrrrrrrrrgh. *deep breaths* ........more baking.........

I'm a little worried about posting this....I feel it may upset people and that is truly NOT my intention. I've only just joined the forum....I'm not even back in East Dulwich!....a friend who uses Brixton chat pointed me in this direction so..... I've said in another thread that everyone seems very well informed..impressively so at times.....but I do wonder if perhaps a little knowledge is a bad thing? There's a lot of discussion about giving birth at Kings, often discussing how awful it is and how the staff aren't that good. I had my first baby at Kings, at 36 +5 weeks, a ventouse........not my ideal admittedly, but I have no complaints AT ALL. All the staff were fabulous.....midwives, health care assistants and doctors. They listened to my opinion and I trusted them......no group practice in those days, so 'just' hospital midwives! They were brilliant. I'm sure there are loads of positive threads, but as I've read through, I've come across so much negativity. I have friends in East Dulwich who read stuff on this forum to get help, advice and support.....and they say it does help them considerably.....but and this is where I'm gritting my teeth for the flurry of replies... Some people may be misled by what they read here, may have expectations about their pregnancy, labour, delivery and post delivery time which can never be met. They may read something here and think that it is totally accurate and true for everyone when the opposite is true. I don't want to be more specific at the moment, but would be interested in any thoughts. Off to do some baking now.........

Wow. What an informative thread.....my friend is 32 weeks and her baby is breech too.......she's done loads of research too. Maybe I should get her to read all this rather than look at all those pregnancy books! Everyone seems really supportive.....are people medical or just really well informed????