WorkingMummy

Can anyone give me any insight into what a long weekend at Center Parcs might be like for a single parent with a 5 year old, 3 year old and 20 month old? I obviously won't be able to take them swimming altogether but are there clubs and activities where I could leave one or more of them? And are there easy crowd pleasers like playgrounds and soft play areas? Any help gratefully received. WM

I used one in Dorset a few years back. For a camping experience, it is very expensive. And on the other hand, the facilities were not good. Shower block (if you can call it that - was a kind of porta-cabin) and shop (just a freezer in the farmer's house) nowhere near what I would expect of a normal campsite, let alone a so called luxury experience. The tents are all fitted out with a 1950's retro feel but they are way colder than a good modern trailer tent and as for the wood burning stove.... Lethal with little ones and just too impractical. Collecting fresh eggs from the chickens in the morning was cute but not good enough to justify the large fee.

Had a 5 year old's birthday there. It is lots of fun and has a very special atmosphere. Simon is incredibly good with the children, very enthusing. He and Jess very relaxed about them running round and making noise. Towards the end I heard my daughter say to a few of her guests, "It's a really good party isn't it?" And they all agreed.

Thank you everybody. I spent the rest of that night dealing with 111 and then gp again in the morning. He gave antibiotics as by then her chest sounded infected. She is much better today. Meanwhile her older sister and baby brother have cone down with it. Thank you all. Very reassuring .

Can anyone offer advice on this. My three year old has been poorly since Saturday and it's getting steadily worse. Took her to GP yesterday. Said temperature had been up to 40 at times, that she had a barking cough, could hardly sleep. Also incredibly foul breath. And incredibly drooling. He said common cold. ? She doesn't even have a runny nose. Today she has been again very ill. No improvement. Calpol/neurofen does nothing to make her more comfy. And then tonight, about an hour ago, she coughed/puked up gross smelling greeny liquid. I don't think it came from her stomach (it doesn't look like bile) but cannot be sure. (She hasn't eaten anything much since Monday.)There was a lot of it. She needed bathing, clean pjs and sheets. She is breathing fine and I'm controlling her temperature, and keeping a close eye on her. Anything else I should be doing? And what is this green junk?

A relative is offering to buy one for my bouncy daughter's fifth birthday. I have memories of being mad for one as a kid and then disappointed when I borrowed a friend's. And I bet they take up room. Am I wrong?

Very useful thread. My eldest told me the other day she felt 'worried and excited at the same time' about starting school next week. Told I felt exactly the same way about the whole thing when I was her age - and now!

This is very anal. Central heating and boilers. Are weather compensators worth installing? Sitting on a few quotes for a new boiler, struggling to accept the cost overall and wondering if worth paying for this optional extra. WM

Agree with Pickle and Fuschia. Have also experienced exactly what you describe (and have worried it was external stresses I couldn't control causing it all.) A good way to reassure yourself is to keep an eye on the nappy situation. Of course, it's normal for EFB babies to go for days without pooing - because BM is so easily digested - but if he's still peeing a lot (which you can tell just by weighing up his used nappies in your hand) then he's taking on plenty of milk from you. I'm very sorry for your loss. What a time you must be having! But as stressful and distracting as that must be, I'm sure that your body won't have lost its pretty single minded focus on milk production. I have been breast feeding for 5 years solid now (not the same child!) and have gone through the most stressful experiences of my life within that period. Although at times I wondered if my boobs were working they clearly were as each baby kept on growing! As others have said, just make sure with everything going on that you remember to eat and drink - especially to drink.

Yes very helpful thanks. It has been reported. It's in a conservation area, so we need the council's permission even to cut it back, let alone fell it. The council have requested photos and a tree survey, which will be done. However, having done some more research on identifying the tree, I think the tree surgeon is right. It looks a lot like a weeping ash, but it does not have black buds at the end of its branches, and the leaflets do not appear in directly opposite pairs. They are very slightly staggered if you look closely. Plus it flowers very late in the summer. It has not flowered yet this year, when all the ash trees around are covered in seed already. I think it is in fact a pagoda. In which case, going to go with surgeon's advice that this is ordinary die back, probably caused by the weird spring we had, and just have it pruned. I expect the council will come and take a look, as we've applied to prune this tree before and I'm pretty sure the surgeon always called it an "ash" on the relevant forms.

And is called Max as well as Becki.

Any arborists out there? The beautiful weeping ash tree on the boundary of my garden, has die back. Is it Chalara? Had a tree surgeon round who scratched his head and said, "Is it an ash?" Ultimately, he couldn't answer his own question. Love that weeping ash (or pagoda). Hoping not to lose it.

So happy to hear this - about the relief of sleep and the referral. Well done. You must be exhausted!

Hi again GinaG3. Still feeling for you and your little girl. I am sorry that the drug did not give her and you the sleep you both so desperately need. But don't give up on it. And it sounds to me like - even if you only use it for a short time - you should use it continuously, not just as and when for its sedative effects. What DenMother says - as well as being hugely reassuring and hopeful - illustrates that the drug might well kick in to help with improving your daughter's skin. Do you think this will work unless the drug is given a continuous stretch in which to work? And in light of Saffron's explanation that the drug is nowhere near as scary as a google search makes it sound to a lay person like me, I would give it a good (but finite) innings before ditching it as a possible answer. How difficult for you and your daughter! I am now re-categorising the level of gravity of my own children's eczema in my mind, several levels downwards.

PCM, 65 quid a week cash plus FULL board and lodging, for 25 hours plus two evenings baby sitting a week, is standard. But that is for a school-leaver/gap year type teenager. The au pair who I had last year was much more than that: she was 27, experienced (but from Spain, unemployed and sadly desparate). She only worked 25 hours but she was with a brand new born, with primary care of him for some of the time (although I was usually somewhere in the house). I gave her 100 p/w, which is the max you can give without paying tax on it. Ann, I'm not sure budur was mixing up nannies and au pairs. She said she got a live-in nanny instead of an au pair. But her nanny has background as an au pair. Quite a few girls who want to be career nannies start out as au pairs to get experience and then gradually graduate to nanny, either with their original family or by moving around. My amazing, 38 year old live-in nanny started out as an au pair in London 22 years ago and did exactly that. I absolutely take your point though: au pairs are not to be exploited by being paid pocket money for working as full time employees. If your au pair is good and experienced, but your situation changes, and you want a nanny instead, you might consider offering to promote her. But then you have to start paying a proper salary and tax, not peanuts.

oimissus Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > and soooo annoying! :-)

Looks like a case of crossed wires to me. I read flower's post the same way as you Otta, but likewise I can see given what she says that she meant "wrong" as in "he's not his usual self". Not wrong like abnormal. Returning to the completely normal but (as we all know) nonetheless very challenging situation Willow is in, what Flower originally asked about how your son is at playgroup (and/or with other people) is potentially very reassuring. Often as mother you can get thrown the most difficult behaviour to deal with, when there's no issue at all when you are not there. This is soooo normal.

Gina, I've now googled the drug you mention. I can 100% see your point!!! But your little girl must be suffering very acutely for the medics to think she needs such a powerful drug to help her sleep. Which can only underline how much she needs it. I also see that, unlike other sedatives, it's allegedly non-addictive and shares "none of the toxicity problems" of other drugs used for the same therapeutic reason in psychiatry. At least, according to wiki. :-/ I would still do it, but agree a plan re length of a trial period first. If it's any consolation I had to take a full on sedative for about a week when 8.5 months pregnant, to help me sleep during an incredibly stressful situation at home. Baby as bright as a button, no harm to him at all.

- deleted : duplicate post

Yes the equation is really hard: powerful drug you are nervous to use, versus the fact your child is suffering. I felt that way about high dose steroids and antibiotics, which were necessary in my daughter's case but which i was very reluctant about at first. (V glad I did it now.) I'm no doctor but I do know the agony of a child with cracking bleeding skin and/or round the clock itching all over. Unless the possible side effects were as serious as, say, possible rapid organ failure, I would try the drugs prescribed, at least short term. The drug is probably rarely used because the situation you are in is rare. Could you return to/call the prescribing doctor and agree a plan as to how long you need to try the drug before ditching it if no sign of improvement? (My experience of anti-histamines is that they work within 24 hours. Of course, you'd need to build in time to allow signs of repair to the skin on top of that. But I wouldn't try indefinitely.) Really feel for you.

PS. Also highly recommend using "special time", where for a designated period you let your child be in charge, like as a game. You tell him about it in advance, encourage him to think about it, and then (within the limits of safety, time and affordability) you go with whatever he suggests. And you have to do as he says. Even if what he wants is to do is nothing, you do it with him, and accept his instructions during the course of the activity. I've got out of quite a few ruts with my kids using this idea. In her angry phase, my daughter would always choose as her special time: play wrestling, some other form of combat or going to the park and doing very specific instructions she gave me (run to that tree and back, do a cartwheel, go down the slide). Really helps bring back the joy into a relationship which seems stuck at "parent tells kid what to do, kid says no and acts up."

Sounds utterly normal to me. A little under a year ago, I had a hell of a time with my four year old. (Different from what you are describing - it was all about hitting/biting/yelling at me. She was lovely with everyone else.) All is well now. They do go through phases. And like all of us, sometimes they have a hard time, without there being anything "wrong" with them. I found, what was really helpful was to take my focus off her a little bit - so, forget all the, "What's going on with her? How do I fix it? Will she ever change?" - and take a bit of time to focus on myself, how I felt about her behaviour, how I was reacting to it, and whether I was happy with how I was being. I just accepted where she was, and worked on changing my own behaviour around it. I found this approach really transformed the situation much better than any "too much this/too little that" fix-it technique. It was amazing how quickly she was able to, well, kind of sort herself out (I don't really mean that but it's the best phrase I can find) once I stopped trying to "sort her out" for her. A forumite recommended this book which I bought and liked. http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/157224593X/ref=redir_mdp_mobile/181-9214509-6833542

Wow. Have no experience of that drug. But just wanted to express concern and support as all three of my children have eczema. I think my most severely affected, at her worst, was about 70 percent as bad as what you are describing (which was bad enough). Really feel for your daughter and you. If it helps at all, my younger two children are on non-sedative antihistamines for hay-fever and although the benefits are slightly hit-and-miss, I haven't noticed any bad side effects. Sorry, not much help. All the best. Keep us posted. Poor little thing!

Mine (4, 2, 1) particularly like: mild chilli (nigella's "feast" recipe - they don't seem to like chilli or curry powder but love individual spices); lasagne; risottos; rice with tuna and tomato sauce; fish fingers, chips and peas. I too am in the don't offer an alternative camp. We eat all together and if they don't like something I let them leave it but there's nothin else. Occasionally one of them goes to bed on an empty stomach but they don't seem too badly affected by it. I have found that they need to keep eating a particular dish quite regularly in order to keep liking it. They are creatures of habit. If I stop cooking something for a while, I sometimes struggle to convince them to accept it again.

Mellors, I have three (4,2,1) and am currently recruiting my second au pair. The first I had for 8 months after my last child was born. I am now recruiting again because my oldest starts school in September and that drop off is in the opposite direction from the 2 year old's kindergarten. It's a great solution. My biggest tip is: treat the person as one of the family. Welcome her to eat with you, join in your activities and be one of you. Being a young person away from home in a big city, she will not take you up on it! My experience, and that of my friends, is that au pairs welcome their own space and there really is very little threat of you being crowded by her. But the atmosphere in the house will be awkward and tense if you do anything less than welcome her with open arms (making clear that joining in is optional). "Don't come into the sitting room after supper/we want privacy" type rules reduces her to the status of a servant and will not foster happiness. Be welcoming, and let things find their own balance. My au pair ate with us at breakfast and in the evenings, which I liked, but other than that, was in her room or out and about when off duty. I recruited last time through findababysitter.com but this time I am using the German YMCA and they seem great. (They provide school leavers - so very young - which is completely fine for my needs this time. Last year I wanted someone older and more experienced, but for that I had to recruit myself). Good luck.